Once every so often, being disabled, you don’t know you are doing it, but you become very defensive and uptight and almost protective. I have read many things about my condition and it does mention this. You become almost territorial. A man thing I hear woman say, lol
Last night, during a conversation with a lad I actually like on some social networking site, the debate got heated to the point my fingertips were burning. A “word” was uttered and I went on the defensive fairly badly.
I was asked today by a mate “Edinburgh Based” how I was, I said fine. I was asked by an online buddy “Am I mentally stable” He was having a laugh and I laughed back. Point I am trying to make here is, due to my condition I can fly of the handle, 24/7 pain is not easy. I know others are in a worse condition, but constant pain, can you imagine having really bad toothache for 10 years? I am guessing this would wear any person down.
I said in my last blog also. Men (Yeah like me) for some reason bring on the “Tough guy” patter. I guess I do it myself when I am in “Territorial” mood and don’t realise. But most people who know me, as in friends and family know I am like any other person, I will give you my last, or I will bite your head off, there is a bit of both there, as I say, same as any other person
What I bring to the table is utter honesty and a willingness to be independent in all I do so out there for all to see it must be strange for others to second guess me. I am a free spirit and I do like to do my own thing. Once offended online I tend to block, but when someone says that “WORD” I tend to explode into territorial mode
Here is the dilemma for lads like me, and I hope people who speak to me online take a second to read these personal blogs; I am an enigma to myself. What I mean is, I live for the second, I don’t worry about yesterday, I don’t care for tomorrow, I live in the moment for the moment, because that is what living is, a collection of moments, and in the end that is all we are left with
One thing I despise is the keyboard warrior, the internet hard-man always have, always will. Where I come from people are honest and proper tough lads offer support and understanding, as I offer this to many in life.
I would like to say, last night I had an argument with a lad from another country, and we both idiots, words are just that, and if someone who knows him reads this, he can take it or leave it, if I could I would buy the lad a pint, that is the kind of lad I am, his call how he goes forward. It was only a word, but a hurtful one.
But then again, men are big hairy hard things with no feelings and we are not allowed to type or show feelings are we? The girls love a man with feelings, sadly men don’t allow it. It is “Hard man” or no man
We live and learn, and today I went back to my roots and did what I wanted to do, and I am not talking online here, well I am and I am not. Online is escape for me. Escape from the reality of what is a great life but a very painful one. One lad asked me last night “Oh are you really disabled” I was like; well yeah, how long can someone have the same injury or new ones, lol.
All is well, I am here for anyone and everyone, love me hate me, loath me or understand me, take me at face value or don’t
But never say that “WORD” to me and also, never take me serious. DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW MUCH BALLS IT TAKES TO WRITE THESE? I get a hard time, behind my back may I add for this, usually from people who can’t write 140 characters. Do I hate, no?
Take me or leave me. Believe me or don’t, want to be the touch lad, fire away. Just let me be me and I will let anyone pretend to be whoever they want to be. One last thing, be yourself, but also take a second not to judge others, try and understand. My disability takes pride away, so being independent is something I hold close. Something I cant help. But nothing I lose sleep over.
Many respects to many friends