Today is a bad day, not going to lie. Everything that is wrong is in my thoughts and in my mind. I called this “Letting go” because as a parent there are no rules on “How to let go” when one of your kids leaves, or goes away, or you don’t see them as much. For any parent with a heart, this is not good, but you have to man up I guess and say “That is life” and it is. My Daughters are now 3 (Just) and 1 years old and I don’t feel I am the best Father in the World but I do want to change this, one day I will, but only when I know I can and I am ready, I can only pray that happens sooner rather than later.
The memories we have of our kids from birth till now, we treasure, we hold onto dearly, like a mother holds onto her new born baby. But then “That day” comes, and I don’t care who you are, nothing prepares you for it, there are no books or guidelines to prepare you for the instinctive, built into our DNA hurt we feel, you just give them a hug and be strong
Today my pain is bad, very bad, so my mind is in a place I don’t like it to be in. But as I sit here writing, I feel the burden of sadness washing away and memories of when they were younger come to the fore
See we only get one chance to be a parent, and if you make a mess of it, you only hope the kid learns for himself. I think I did ok, I think, my partner and I did our best, as a parent you learn on your feet with each passing day, always at the back of your mind, knowing “That day will come”
To any parent out there reading this, give your kids a hug, if not, phone them, and let them know you are there. I get a bit of heat from my mates over doing these blogs, but having a heart and having the ability and bravery to share your deepest thoughts to the world is no different from a song writer singing to thousands of people. So I am happy I can share.
If me sharing helps one person, then it is worth it. I don’t care what people think, people who care what people think are the kind of people who get double glazing because Mrs Smith next door got them.
Just as I was writing this my Dad called, so well timed. He is a Parent also, so he feels the same. He may be older, and I may be older, but he feels the same as I do, even though the age difference is wider. Point I am making is, if you are a parent, there is no age or time limit on love. The medication is confusing me badly, it’s making this experience LESS, I have to wake up
Love each other.
More love, Less Hate
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