The Pain Game

Sometimes this is how I feel, but being brave comes in many forms

Sometimes this is how I feel, but being brave comes in many forms

I started this page to share my life, my thoughts and try and help others worse off, and I think it is going fairly well, another 40 odd followers today, so thank you for following. People from all over are getting involved in my blog, and I am getting involved in theirs, so this is good for me

Today I woke up with the worst lower back pain ever, I bought a new bed, meant to help people with bad backs, so well done there bed, you are rubbish. lol took me over an hour to get out of bed, then 10 minutes to walk to the kitchen, then some medication and a LOT of Voltarol Gel on my lower back, so I am just really sore now. Living with Chronic Pain really is a nightmare.

In my dreams, I get teased, I can run, play football (Soccer for some) and feel as if I am 15 or so again, wonderful dreams, then I wake up, and I am in my 30s and in pain, I love dreaming. Lol

In dream we can do anything, and I guess my dreams are taking me to a place where my mind wants to be, a place I can walk far, I can run, I can play football, the game I love and more. So dreaming is good, it’s the waking up I don’t like, as the second I open my eyes, pain, and to cap it off, just a little more pain for good measure. As the day goes on, the pain lessens, then at night a few hours before bed I can almost feel normal, the pain is really light, I still have to be careful, but it is almost gone, but this is when I have matsticks holding my eye lids up, lol

So when I share, I don’t ask for sympathy, but if anyone else out there suffers, don’t suffer in silence, be a man/woman, or be brave and talk about it. Some think as a man I shouldn’t talk about it, but they must know more than my Drs and occupational therapist, as they urge me to do this blog, and over time this blog has saved my skin a few times, the ability to just open my blog and type what is on my mind has become an invaluable tool for my mind.

So, for those in pain, depressed, whatever, open a page and share, take it from me and others, it helps, and don’t be scared off what others say, or think. I don’t. I think the older you get the more tolerant you become. A few days ago, as I said in a blog I literally almost deleted myself off the internet, I was just in a really bad place, looking back, I can laugh, but looking back, we all can.

I wouldn’t change anything in my life, a beautiful caring partner, 4 kids, two older sons, and two daughters under 4 years old; they are all a blessing to me,  my body and mind. And again, all I can say is I am utterly blessed to have these people in my home. And my family and friends also are key to me in life. It took me a LONG time to tell my family I have CPS (Chronic Pain), and it is a man thing isn’t it, stupid pride comes into play, but if I have learnt anything the last few years, it is, people do understand, and do care, and will help. So again, I say this in most blogs, don’t sit in silence, and don’t despair, as someone is always there. Even if it is God, speak, open up, because sharing gets it off your back, and lightens the burden you carry. Some people will mock you, but they are just nasty, and probably have never been loved or don’t know what love and compassion is, and never will, forget them, let them live their nasty hate filled lived. I don’t hate anyone, but I do feel sorry for people who are hate filled. People say I should not, but we can’t change who we are, can we. So share, whatever your problem is, open up word, open a blog, open a website and share. People will understand!!

For now, and god bless you all

Shaun

14 comments on “The Pain Game

  1. Hopefully it’ll not be long Shaun when those dreams become reality for you and you can get out and enjoy the game you love and do normal things with the kids again 👍

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    • Aye maybe mate. But this condition can’t be cured, only kept to a state when you can get a little help to ease the pain..But trust me!! I live in hope. Appreciate you taking the time to reply. Means a lot. Shaun..

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  2. You are not alone my friend. I have Chronic Pain Syndrome as well as Fibromyalgia, which as you mentioned is rather rare for men to get…and even harder to admit and accept. The best medicine I have found isn’t a pill or man made. It is faith.

    Trust me no bed or product claiming to be made for back pain, body pain, etc in a mattress is just a ploy to get your money. With the spinal stenosis that I have the closest I have come to a pain free sleep was from a Sleep Number Bed. I just don’t have the money for one other wise I would have it.

    Just remember my dear friend you are not alone in this journey, you are never truly alone! If you ever need an ear I am close by!

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    • This is why I blog, I reach out and brilliant people like you reach back, who care, who understand and who give advice. I am blessed, and thank you also for just being a decent man. I am sorry to hear about your own struggle, and likewise, an ear is here for you. Appreciated more than you know.. Shaun. God Bless

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      • I try my kind friend to be decent, kind, and gentle to all I come in contact with, it is what I’ve been taught to do all my life, and no thanks are needed kind friend. He said to treat others as I wish to be treated, I live the Golden Rule as best I can. I do thank you for the reciprocation!

        Life is full of surprises! I’ve started looking for those surprises more and more instead of focusing on those things drag me down…and slowly things become more manageable, though there are still certain parts of the year that I struggle more than the other with flair ups.

        Keep your chin up my friend! God Bless.

        Eddie

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  3. Hi Shaun and thanks for stopping by my blog. I am sorry about your pain. I too deal with chronic pain but thankfully it takes time off every now and then. I am not sure where mine comes from but think it may be from Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a hereditary collagen disorder that my Dad had. I am praying for you. I have not made this blog public yet but was moved by your post and have decided to share it with you. You’ve already seen my regular blog about homeschooling and such. This one is very open about pain and such…it is also a place to talk with others in pain. I did not want my family and regular friends to read it. But you and others with pain will understand. I don’t write on it that much. God bless!
    http://ehlersdanlosawareness.wordpress.com/

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      • Thank you 🙂 this was a very helpful video. I have heard of this before. It’s insane what our minds do with pain. My Dad was in a lot of pain and unfortunately he got addicted to his meds. I believe the morphine actually made his pain worse. It was a bad cycle. Because of his experience I tend to stay away from meds. I really have to think of other things so I don’t get depressed. Some pain I can explain….inflammation and such (though I should be too young for all that. I’ve had it since my early 20’s though I’ve never had a major injury). Other pains are hard to deal with if I don’t know why……..random burning and stabs in random places. That scares me because I don’t know what will happen next. If I know it won’t kill me then I can get through it. Fear is the worst.

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      • Yeah it is the not knowing that be a nightmare with any illness. Once I knew it was CP I felt a little bit more at peace. I take. Tramadol, Dydracodine and Diazapam 4 times a day. I was on 36 tablets a day, got myself down to 16/22. And I feel no different. So with the help of the Chronic Pain people in Edinburgh, I am trying to get off the medication. As the medication to help has nasty side affects, lol. What a life we lead eh…x lol

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