This isn’t a call for sympathy or feel sorry for Shaun, more about how my mind works most days, and how others could perhaps do more. I always volunteer I did it in football, and now I do it for people who are ill. Just something I feel I have to do. All this blog is. Please don’t read any more into it
Realized late this morning I had hospital at 3pm today with Chronic Pain people. Today I have to be put through a round of exercises. Walking, stairs, pulling things, pushing things, sitting down, standing up, lying down, getting up, and so on. 8 weeks or so to go
I volunteered for this course, but there is a part of me asking if it is worthwhile. This is the second part of the course, the first part made no difference, and I am told the second part won’t either. I had to sit and watch this video last time
They tell me this is the standard video they show people at these Chronic Pain classed through the NHS in the UK. The video suggests it is in my head or mostly, I can’t and don’t see it that way. Speaking to the many I do that have been through this course, they tell me it is a waste of time, but I volunteered for this, so I am going to do the next 8 weeks to see if it improves anything
The sheer thought off being put through pain isn’t a good thought, it makes me want to call them and say “Won’t be there” But I am going to. Just to see if it can do anything to improve the pain. If it can, then it will have been worth it, if not, then I guess I have learnt these courses don’t help. Like many I can’t be cured, so it is just standard of my life they are trying to improve on
So between this and Hospital on Friday (if it goes ahead) it sure will be an exciting week. lol, I know many are worse, and some family and friends said on another blog, I volunteer to help others, talk to people who need a shoulder. So being helped and helping is one in the same I guess. You learn something. Even if the end result isn’t what you thought it would be, you still learnt. And no matter what transpires here, I will always help others who are far worse off.
Just the way I am. I need to look myself in the mirror and say
- “I tried”
- “I am doing something”
- “I am giving something back”
- “I can help”
And the ability to do that helps me a lot. As to help someone in their hour of need, to be at someone’s bedside as they breathe their last breath, is something humbling to say the least. Nobody should be alone or die alone. So people who are there to help people, they are good people.
What I about to say, please no offense to anyone ok, it is just me, and I shouldn’t think this way, but when I hear people moaning about going to work, I tend to, at the back of my mind say “Don’t you realize how lucky you are” Some can’t work due to illness or disability, some just don’t want to work. I realize the ability to work is something I used to take for granted, along with many other small things I now can’t do. And there are 10s of thousands just like me in Scotland. Please nobody be offended by this, if you work superb. I just pray for one day where I can work full time and give my family a better life. In the meantime I will be happy for what I have and help who I can. It is after all, the least I can do
Just my thoughts for today
Well I have been, and it was a nightmare. Send you home 100x worse than you arrived. How does this help I hear you ask? Yeah I ask the same also. I can’t see how these classes help. Anyone who has been through the entire programme, how did it go for you? Any better? I just seem to leave in more pain. Also my Hospital on Friday is off, I need to build up a few muscles in my knee first. So I am no further forward.