People die, but never leave us, my story

428x285-ctMay I first say, share your story below, you don’t have to be registered or follow my blog. This is my story, what is your story?

Above is a picture taken in the mid 1970’s, the woman holding the child is my Nana (Grandmother) who passed many years ago now. Katie was her name, to me and others she was Nana, and we miss her, lately family through facebook have been sharing old pictures, and two got me, so I will share

The kid in the picture was born 3 months premature, had his last rights read to him and his parents told he would live for a day or two, the kid in that photo is me

Many people have died I loved so far in my live, 2 hurt badly, my Aunt Anne and my Nana, it cut me deeply and today it still does.

I had heard the story of me nearly dying as a baby and only this week I was shown this picture on Facebook by my Sister and my Cousin. I burst into tears right away, yeah Men cry, I do anyway

This picture is symbolic to me in a few ways, I did live, this was my 1st day home since birth I think, and my Nana holding me and loving me. My Nana, like many of us with Grandparents only remember an old face, but then I was sent this, this is my Nana in 1939 at the start of WWII in uniform, she was 22 we think, we are not sure, I was a “WOW” moment for me

My Nana as a young girl

My Nana as a young girl

To see these pictures brought me to my knees almost, because of many reasons. Reasons I know anyone reading can agree with, or can share with, we all have a story to tell, this is one of mine. She was an extraordinary woman, she cared, loved and just loved her family and asked only we visit her, unconditional love she gave us all

I can’t speak for the rest of my family, but for me this picture shows me that hope is something we never give up on, many  thought I was dead, and I lived, and to see my Nana holding me, this picture blew me away

There are other stories I could share, my Brother and my Granddad and many more from people in my family. But this is my blog page and my piece. She has been gone for a while, but she is never forgotten. Not one day goes past when I don’t think of her

This picture is bitter sweet, it hurts me, but it also makes me smile

We all have a story to tell, I know many with similar or worse stories in my family, and this is mine

Also the other death that hurt deep was my Aunt Ann, it hurt badly, this was several year ago now. She was beautiful, like my Nana as a kid; my aunt was a beautiful person to me, and kind. I always have this memory of her grabbing me as a kid, kissing me, and saying “I love you” And I cherish this moment always. The same as her husband and her four daughters will with memories they hold

My Aunt

My Aunt

Life is short yeah? So we should not waste it on not speaking, and being stupid. When the day comes, the people who will be there for you are your family, and I love mine, all of them. Now that I am writing I can explore my feelings and see how far I can share my most inner feelings, and this is about as far and as close as I can get, I am bearing my soul to you all, thousands of people from Family to strangers all over the Globe

But this is my story, these are two people I love to this day and there are others may I add, and it still hurts. But knowing my family is still around me helps, my Aunts kids are in there also, we speak and have fun from time to time online, and my Nana, well we all miss her.

She was the boss. It was my Aunts husband who found my Nana when she died. Now they are both together with my Granddad and my Aunt Margaret, together, awaiting the rest of us. I really believe this

As I say often and my awards to the right must be hitting a nerve somewhere. there isn’t enough love left, and what did happen to family values? I blogged this down the page, what went wrong?

More love, less hate, then the world is a better place. I spoke with my Sister last night and I tried to explain how I have changed, and if she reads this, or any of my family read this, I found love and compassion and maybe God, I don’t know. I don’t see organised religion as being for me, but there must be someone up there. My dad told me a story once, he was up a hill, and before him he seen his Mum (My nana) his Dad and two sisters, and when he told me he cried, and I have no reason to not believe him. This must have been a moment he cherishes to this day, he cries still when he speaks about it

So maybe, I would like to think they are up there waiting on us all. I could be here writing about all sorts of things, but these two pictures made me cry and smile. And that is ok, we can cry

I got shown the last ever picture of my Nana the day before her passing, and again, gut wrenching hurt. I cried, again, this is ok, its allowed, anyone who says it’s not is non human to me, it is a man thing “Men shouldn’t cry” Perhaps a deeply rooted Scottish thing. If someone was to hurt my family I would do what any man would, that part of me still exists, but as I grow older and go through “Events” in my life, I learn, as do we all, we draw strength from the hurt or the anger to make sure we can deal with it next time better, in one event I hope we never have to go through that as a family again, it ripped us to bits, but as I write this, we are healing, slowly we are coming back to each other

And this is why I blog, I miss being with my family, and maybe one day we can be close again. The internet has made us lazy, why visit when we can email, or Skype or exchange pictures and questions on facebook, are we getting lazy, is this why the “Family” don’t speak any more? Not just my family, I blogged a few blogs down, and many from all over the world agreed, family has gone and been replaced by a computer screen

But, this blog is about what happens to us all, what we must face, and how we cope as a family unit. I am glad I shared this


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