I remember all those years ago I was the guy many still foolishly think I am. I am not him no more, you changed me. You showed me a love I had never known before. Over the weekend when I was in Hospital you kept me calm, you made me smile, made me cry. You are more than my Queen, you are my life, my all, my every day, my nighttime, my soul, my everything. I don’t tell you enough, so this night I tell the World as I tell you. 25 years ago when I was in and out of bad rooms you told me what was wrong, what was right. You showed me a new way and slowly over the years we became good for each other. It was never perfect, I know that, I was never perfect. I remember the day I first met you, the day I took the risk of kissing you when you had a boyfriend, we were kids, 14/15. I knew I would spend my life with you. I said something and you replied “Worst line ever” But looking back those words were right. I just knew you were the one for me. Out of a hundred I had to have you, but in the right way. Over time you taught me how to live, love, do right. When others judge you don’t, you tell me “Ignore it” and hug me. Thank you.. x ❤
The days and nights I was in bed crying, screaming to be let free from this pain you kept me alive with your love. Then came two little girls and it became easier. Our 2 sons I could not be more proud off. People say “Judge people by what their kids become” well if that is the case, we did good hon, real good. But we got to do it all over again. I am sorry I have been away from you for so long, the medication is poison, it’s a disaster movie waiting to happen, this weekend it happened. But we smile, hope, laugh, love and we know no matter we both will smile for all of time. All I can offer you is all I am, all I can become all I know. As I slowly come off this medication poison I am awakening, but my body is closing down. Slowly I feel my body twist and hurt. I need you to know I will get past this. Tonight you said something, it will remain secret, between 2 lovers at sea. When you went to bed I cried. I came to my song list and seen this one below
You know this song, you have seen it many times, heard it often through my headset. This song speaks absolute and full of what we are, who we are. People talk hon but they don’t have what we have. But that is no ethical gain for you and I, we just know, shame on others for being unhappy at life. We choose to smile and laugh. Over the years you wore the trousers, you had no choice but you took the role and ran with it. I watched in amazement as you ran a house with 2 new little girls as the pain and poison eat me up.
Today I make you a promise. I will become Shaun again, I will smile more, love you more if I can. Make you know what REALLY matters. Love, smiling, a look, a glance, a feeling. You know what I am saying. Many don’t like me sharing my thoughts like this but am I doing any more than the two people below? They are sharing what they wrote. All I do here is share, I write how I feel the same as a music writer, movie writer, a poet, a clown. For you, I write better, for you I fight more. For you I will not go back to Hospital, the drugs the Dr kept me on will be gone and I will be me again, for real and we will be equal.
For now my love….
Your every day