A few of these kids above from back then are now young football players playing pro or part time in Scotland today, all 21 years old+, can you spot them? 😀 So season 2016/2017 I will be off all Dr’s medication and in a reasonable enough state to do 8 hours voluntary work with kids football or adults football a week, also know I am above nobody nor am I below anyone, just some guy with a will to beat a disability and life here. This will be basically 10 months from now I am hoping. I did 15 years of football as a guy called #Gaffa, everyone called me this 😀 No idea why, anyway! I then had to stop due to this disease I had called Chronic Pain Syndrome then I got told I had Fibromyalgia now I also have M.E. Now many will think “Aww what a shame” I am not, I know what I have, I am smiling now, and pain is kicking me to death 😀 But I know what I have now, there is a name for it. Looking for a decent football manager? Read on… Please. OH! Forgot to say, because I am SO bored I started to write, got to do something right? Got to help in some way right? Well I helped kids before, I helped adults before, I now write to help people, go to contacts above you will see my reasons for being have not changed, I want to help, create moments, turn kids to men, turn men into a team and more, and in the right way at the right times. Never do I shout and bawl, you become #Team through trust 1st, friendship and mutual respect
So football and me. What do I miss? I miss being in that dressing room with the players seconds before going out to the park to play, I miss telling players how to play, where to be on the park, telling them attitude is everything and teaching them #Team because everything I learnt and did in football in these 15 years took #Team. You can’t do it alone, you can’t run a team on your own, but you can lead from the front and choose wisely whom you have at your side, this is something I know now I failed at. I had one guy, good guy, at my side and he let himself down but let kids down also, but WE still won trophies, but more important created moments forever. One lad in particular helped me, he has his hand on my shoulder in the picture below. He is my Football Dad, he is an ex graded football referee, his input for me to beat teams was 10/10 and his ability to calm me down and not get into trouble was NEEDED 😀 I can get a bit animated yeah? 😀 He taught me to behave, I only had 3 Hampden appearances in-front of the SFA, twice with players, once with another coach, so he did a good job molding me into a Football manager. Wherever I go, he goes with me, Kevin if you read this, know how determined I am to bring this moment back!
I look behind me at a trophy cabinet from what I won and smile. The memories are just WOW. I remember almost every game, feelings, winning and the downer of losing. I remember working with kids from ages 8 to 19 and trying to and succeeding often to get them to understand they represent #Team, I miss this badly. I say always I am above nobody, I am below nobody. Then illness came and took it all. I made enemies, well people made an enemy in me because I deserved it, so in reality I never had 1 enemy because I didn’t create any, others did, but hey-ho 😀 These days I would shake their hands and mean it. There is a saying here in Scotland “What happens on the park stays on the park” and sadly it didn’t a few times, but that is a part you learn and I did, these last 5 years with no football I think I have learnt 100% more than I did when I was doing football, I studied more, I listened more, I watched more. I could be helping coach my local team just now but I never liked the idea of involvement in teams in my street or area, it’s just not for me, respect people who can pull it off, I can’t, lol
Now I sit on a Saturday night watching football on TV and watching the team I support, often I will park my car at the side of a park and watch a game involving kids and or adults, always at the back of my mind thinking ‘Feck I miss this’ Football is full of idiots and I guess I became one at stages, it turns grown men into fools, sadly some don’t know this happened to them, I do! There are guys I just utterly respect because they just get on with it, these are the guys I want to work with, this is what I would do now, stay off-line, the internet forums, when involved with a team, not get involved in hate and always focus on being the quality of person I ask my players to be or become, for me it’s not what you did, it’s what you are going to do next. I am 42 years old with 15 years and 19 trophies but more important ‘Experience behind me, it’s wasting away and I am pining to be back there. You want to hire me for free?
8 to 10 hours a week will be a test for me, I will have to sit down 😀 Pride gone for me, but I need to do this to prove Disabled people can still FUNCTION, Disabled people can still DO, Disabled people can still BE, Disabled people can still LIVE. So if there is anyone out there in the South East Region of Edinburgh, even West Lothian or even Fife looking for a football manager to take whatever age group, my Contacts <Click) are on this page at the top. Personal awards I received, club awards came also but every time I got a personal award I had a player or coach from one of the other teams with me for all media things in the Club I started, owned and run, ran with help. Sadly often we make bad choices in who we trust in life and people who have never done football or been involved in football before think they know what’s best against someone who has been doing it 13 years, well, at the time. I don’t hate anyone, let me down? No! They let a LOT of kids down. When I look back to the final days of Gorgie Hearts AFC I smile knowing it was amazing but then I think of all the kids who I would have been managing now and think about the people who stopped that process, leading me to give up Gorgie Hearts and go back to kids football, but with memories and friends for life. As I say, it’s not what you have done, it’s what you are going to do next. I am hungry for football, to coach, to turn kids into good men and turn men into good team mates, I am hungry to succeed, I am hungry to win, I am able to lose. I am not the same man I was back when I did football before, this illness knocked sense into me 😀 Really it did. I look back to petty people and maybe I was one? does it matter? Again! ‘What are you going to do next’ – So…Looking for the hardest working, free £ manager you will meet? Then call someone else, I can’t promise you anything more than, well below says it all, and I don’t boast, that creates hate, I just want to give kids and adults or club owners, staff whatever, some good memories, if I don’t do this I will rot away in a chair, so for all that I must live for is my reasons. I have 2 wee girls now, 5 and 6 years old while my sons are 21 and 23, neither play football but love the game. I have a partner pushing me here but I am pushing myself. 8 or 10 hours a week will kill me in pain, but that pain is worth it if I am helping and having fun. All I ask for is 1 chance, 1 person to take a chance, but be decent and real! I need try and be good or better, all aside it WILL be fun. I grew up, patter is gone, I just want to make new friends and have fun in a game I love to bits. I have 8 certificates or badges, SO WHAT!! 8 Certificates mean nothing by the way, I know people with 12 Certificates to Coach football but do it wrong and create trouble, so Certificates are NOTHING. Ability to bring 20 men or 16 kids with their parents and a club together as one is key for me. I need it! Who wants moments? Get in touch with me, but please be real
I am hungry for it. Give me 10 months and I promise I will give you all I have.
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