Living in pain with a brain illness – I am starting to understand things and people

7d8e410624cc96efade256b0d5aaf563I removed my stupid self from Facebook and a lot of other things in the last week, but I had good reason. Just now a family member is being annoyed by some idiot next door, pissing on my family members door mat, tapping the door then running away, threatening them, basically being a coward. I wanted to go to this person’s door and just have it dealt with, but family thought it WISE to call the police, and that is not how I deal with a ‘LIBERTY TAKER’ Someone who will do things to try and alter the mind of another to any given emotion. I think these ‘Liberty takers’ are cowards, real men just say to face or just jog on, that is all I know, so the restraint needed to not just go to this person’s door and finish this is very difficult for me, but over the last week in holding back seeing a family member suffer at the hands of a Coward it made me see something in myself, through my 4 disabilities

I am a person who can sleep like a happy baby with ANY emotion in my mind, I have the ability to sleep after someone says “I am going to kill you” or whatever crap people say. See real people just kill you, cowards give you the time and date so I just say “OK, we will be out, thanks for the heads up arsehole” 😀

d1660f22dbf09af7823b7ddcf50088eaThis new drug I am on MST Continus is a bit strong, but it is taken morning and night and is slow release, it differs from my old medication I was on in the way it doesn’t give you one big hit of pain relief at once, no, this just slowly enters your mind and body and you feel it, I can feel it in my mind. Strange thing the mind, I always want to be in full control of my mind, I never allow any person to enter my mind and try and own it, never going to happen. People have tried to play childish games with me in the past and always I slept well and didn’t give them thought. For me as a disabled guy living in agony and a mind that is hard to keep in check as it can be confusing with Fibromyalgia and M.E/CFS. Because I am in the Gym hitting leather and PVC every day I am needing flesh to hit, and the person annoying my family member was a target for my mind for a day or 2, but I managed to get rid of the idea of tying the prick to a chair and keeping him alive. I don’t mean that, it’s just a thought. I don’t play well with cowards, I tend to just deal with them and move on, I refuse to allow another to own my mind. But as I am off 5 different medications and now on 2 new ones I am trying to find my centre again, trying to re-establish where I am and what is around me. Always as a young kid my Dad would say to me “Know who is around you son, in-front, behind and at each side” and as a kid I never really got it, but I do now, I taught my own son’s this and I think they may struggle to understand it 😀 Life is very, VERY easy, and I prefer to live with a quiet mind, I own my thought and nobody can ever take that from me. They can mock, hit, play, do what they will, but not one person can control or own my mind, and that is what I am learning again. The man I used to be would just go and finish the story, get it over with and just go home as if nothing happened. Today I have two wee girls to help grow up, so I needed to grow up. This is why I came off Dr’s Heroin and am killing myself in the Gym every day. My mind, my entire being is for my family, I come 2nd because I can control my World, but I am noticing others can’t. It is what it is right?

11416159_10207009625624143_6777975463268398855_nBe good World, life can hit us from any side, in-front, behind or either side at any moment and we are left regretting we didn’t look to see what was around us. Don’t be paranoid with this, just understand EVERYTHING and EVERYONE around you, then you own your World. People say “But I can’t change the World” I say back “So go and change your own World” If we all did this, our World would be a better place I believe. Also, denying what and who we are, becoming something else or different because life said so can make us all very ill and unwell. I think we must always be ourselves and never deny who we are. Trust me, I seen it, made it, cleaned it, made the mess, you name it I done it, and got the preverbial T-Shirt to say so. Be yourself, don’t be someone else. Or life will hit you like a ton of bricks because you were not looking at what is around you, your mind was in a state of NOWHERE. Know who, what, whoever, whatever is around you, and the bricks miss you

More love, less hate

Holly Johnson Love Train
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6 comments on “Living in pain with a brain illness – I am starting to understand things and people

  1. your the coward for threatening me?? cos you cant get what u want from’ve continously lied to me…enough is going to the police and the and my neighbours dont need someone awful like you in our neighbourhood..thanks for nothing

    Sent from Samsung Mobile

    Liked by 1 person

    • What and whom are you talking to? You live in California USA, I live in Edinburgh Scotland..I am not connecting the dots here am I? 😀 lol…
      PS: What are you talking about?
      Sorry if I misread you, but you can go to the police and housing all day. I own this house and I know the local police. I am BRILLIANT neighbour….I don’t understand


    • What have I asked from you? I have never asked you for anything 😀
      You live so far away from me you couldn’t hear my music if everyone on earth shut up 😀
      Explain yourself please? lol
      You live here….

      …I don’t…. #Hmmm lol


    • I attract shit? Listen I was born into shit then I decided to clean the shit up..
      You live in California USA. I am 10,000 miles away in Edinburgh Scotland…
      I am not following you here. Can you please tell me what the fuck you are on about? lol


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