About 17 years ago I was signed off work by the LAWYERS for LIFE with a ‘SORE FUCKING KNEE’ then put on a mixture of medication that made me a fucking paranoid schizophrenic living in pain so bad I wouldn’t feel a kick in the balls from the fucking Hulk due to pain medication that does fuck all. Fuck the pain, fuck the mind games, fuck people, fuck life, and fuck it all. I am fucking tired of a World where people just judge, moan and complain when they have fuck all to complain about. Sitting in a fucking bed listening how bad cunts lives are because someone at work is a prick, fuck the medication, fuck this pain and FUCK THE PROCESS OVER MONEY FORCING MY DR AT THE TIME BEING FORCED TO SIGN ME OFF FOR LIFE DUE TO MONEY HUNGRY FUCKING LAWYERS. Not saying there is a connection but my Dr who was FORCED to sign me off for life thanks to wank lawyers died soon after signing me off work, and to be fair he tried like fuck to not sign me off work as he too knew at the time I only had a fucking sore knee, or “Housemaids fucking knee” as it was called at the time. What I was put through back then, being FORCED to be signed off for work to protect MONEY!! Today makes me want to go kill cunts. Today it isn’t about the Disability, it’s about quality of life, I have fucking none. 24/7 pain, never stops, and yeah boo, fucking hoo me, what a fucking shame!!! Legally “I CAN’T FUCKING TELL THIS STORY” but I fucking want to. It took LIFE, FAMILY, FRIENDS, IT LOOK EVERY-FUCKING-THING. Next time some cunt looks at me like I am making this shit up I swear to fucking Christ I will map the cunts up. I am TIRED, tired of being a pathetic fucking cunt. Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, M.E and Psychosis are just a few things I need to suck up, sleeping all the time or awake all the time, always pain is crushing down, and I don’t have a DATE for it to end, it’s hard, very hard. When I want to end my life I have to think about my kids, when I want to hurt people I need to understand life in jail is probably a better deal than I have now, least in jail I could just go for it. The life I have today is because of lawyers protecting fucking money all these years ago.
Fuck the system that is there to serve ONLY money. Fuck the actual cheats who sit at home all day in happy-town with a free fucking life when they could actually go and fucking work, at least when I was signed off I did volunteer work with kids who needed help till the pain and my mind just took it all away. For me this has fuck all to do with either ‘Ability to work’ nor ‘Money’. It’s about NOT typing shit like this on the fucking internet. Jekyll and Hyde have fuck all on me, 1 minute I am smiling, the next in bed screaming like a wee girl, but I do hide it from life, NEVER do I speak like this to ANYONE, no, just bottle my shit up and smile like the rest of you. I got 2 little girls here and I have to fucking hide my life from them, and don’t talk to me about lonely. Not a dig at anyone I like being around, but pain is just fucking lonely, day after fucking day of bed and Morphine mixed with other meaningless shitty drugs I hate yet need to take, in-fact I need more but fuck it, I need a small part of my mind to keep me alive, I don’t even know if it helps the pain any more. ALWAYS when we are about to open a door to something good does some wanker close it for you. The story of ‘Why’ I was signed off for work for life I can’t tell for ‘Legal Reasons’ but I am >.< that close to getting a lawyer and suing some cunt for half a million pounds. All about money, all about ‘Protecting Interests’ The Government actually do help some people and I like to see people being helped, but what about all the fucking cheaters STILL claiming benefits at the cost of people who actually fucking need it.
My partner didn’t sign up for this bullshit she has to care for me every waking fucking moment. I need help to eat, wash, shit, piss, I can hardly walk up my own hallway some days, and probably need help to breathe too, I will get back to you on that one. Fuck my Childhood and fuck every grown fucking man who stood back and watched what was happening and I will call every fucking one of them fucking cowards. Everyone fucking bailed and I had to take care of things, I think I was about 18 when that shit happened. Yeah I am fucked off, family only care about their own needs, I remember a World where family actually fucking helped each other, I remember times people cared, when people were not so fucking scared to talk. And this “Don’t be real on the internet bullshit” really fucks me off too. This is my blog, I EVEN NEED FUCKING HELP to do this shit, and it is fucking shit, people think because I have 1.5 Million views I think I am fucking special. Here is a deal, for the next month I will trade lives with any wank-face who thinks their life is hard because they have shit internet or someone said something on-line that upset them, because that is what the fucking World has came to. I try my best to just TRY, but it’s too fucking hard, I have to restrain myself DAILY from punching strangers in the face, how I stop myself must be magic or some other shit. YEAH I AM FUCKING PISSED OFF….
And I am glad we can type it on the FUCKING STUPID, FULL OF SERIOUS CUNTS internet and not have to sit and speak like this to people. Not that people give a fuck anyway, they are too worried about what shoes to wear the next again fucking day. So why do I blog? Why do I ask my partner to sit (Not just now) and write all this blogging shit for me? Because if it wasn’t for this blog I would be in jail or dead, shit to 1 side, this blog gave me a voice, it gave me purpose to TRY and change things that need changed, but you realize after a while that no matter what you say, no matter what you claim you can or can’t prove, NO-CUNT IS LISTING ANYWAY, fools will be fools regardless. Someone (Decent Person) said to me a few days ago “Shaun, you really don’t hold fucking back do you?” and they said it with a smile on their face, a face I wanted to fucking punch may I add. Facts are I do care, I have reason to care, 2 wee girls and 2 sons to help grow up and older, that is my job so I will do it, happily, it’s the ONLY thing I actually enjoy in this pitiful fucking SHIT-HOLE we call Earth. Our World is full of fucking idiots, gossips, Religious fucking screw-balls and people so fucking dumb I would rather sit and speak to my fucking dog for a chin-wag. Seriously people are boring, tedious, narrow minded, 2 faced cunts in the main. But for all the good people, keep doing what you do, be yourself, don’t bow to the the pressures life places on us via all these scary things that are thrown at us every fucking day. I live in pain and utter confusion because of whatever the fuck is wrong with me, and I must do all that and smile and love 2 wee girls because I want them to have a Childhood or ‘NORMAL’, because my life is fucked I must still show my girls what a healthy relationship is, what is right from wrong. They saved me. I pray every day, not to Religion, Jesus or Scripture, no fuck that shit, I have praying to MY GOD since I was a wee boy, if nobody is listening, then nobody is listening, if it is just a stupid placebo to get me through each moment, hour or day then so be it. But truly, IT IS WEARING FUCKING THIN