Finally in the ‘Mental Health’ System – LONG, HARD, ROAD AHEAD – I SEE HOPE!

Living with severe pain and severe mental health issues. My first blog for a while here, and I didn’t really want to do it either, but as we reach out, others reach back. It started for me, the journey of pain and mental health about 15 years ago. I had issues from Childhood that haunted me when I was signed off from being allowed to Work all these years ago. The cycle of pain and mental health is a tricky one. The medications I am now on are less, but better and just as powerful. Today I am TRYING to start being a sit-down DJ again through the Stafford Center below and also singing lessons to FINALLY TRY and sit on a stage and create moment of ‘Music’. Always I have this view that Sport, Politics, Religion, and the worse one, MONEY just divide us all, well most of us. For me, just me, Music is my God, it speaks to me, and it listens back. I need a stage, I need to be part of something for myself. I spent too long doing things for others. I lost most of my Family because of these issues, but Family who mock, don’t understand, make things worse, are they worth having? For me no, but we all have our own ways. What I do know is, when we get ill in ANY way and it effects us badly, people walk away. FAMILY say things like “I am not getting involved”, but who am I to talk, I walked away from the emotion of HATE I had and still do have. Family just unable to hear us speak and just say ‘Nice one’ then change the subject. I am fighting for myself this time. I have lost, BUT SO HAVE YOU. We ALL have a something, we all have things holding us back, making us dread moving forward. We all lose, we all hurt, we are all just human. We live in a selfish money chasing brainwashed World. So I am doing this for me, but I have two little Girls here, my Daughters. All I am trying to do is make sure they are like their brothers, I hope they grow up and find HAPPY, without money, hate, anger, struggle. And understand who they want in their lives as they grow. They are only 7 and 8 years old, but my Job is to gently and over time tell them ‘It is your life, you make the choices, and to NEVER allow another to dictate to them in any way possible’, it really is that simple. Like you I am surrounded by people not in control, and these people work, have money, CHOOSE the life they lead, and are owned by emotions and the emotions of others. I dislike these people because of the impact they have on my Girls. Never hate, I say it below always. Just typing to TRY and connect. This took me like 3 hours today 😀 I hope 2 people read it.

BE KIND TO YOURSELF!

DON’T ALLOW OTHERS TO STEAL YOUR LIFE, THOUGHTS OR EMOTIONS.

Be yourself and NEVER compromise this. When you do, you give your control to others.

For now…

..Below is the system of help I am in just now. I will be adding a pain-team back to this list shortly

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This was my first HELP about 12 years ago:

@Dr_A_Dobbin – On Twitter

https://www.facebook.com/PositiveMentalTraining/

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The River Center is for people suicidal, depressed, just lost in life:

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I am now here. The possibility to be a DJ again, AND TO SING (Is the plan)

https://www.facebook.com/TheStaffordCentre

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MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

blogger-for-peace-van-2

BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS - THIS REPRESENTS 'BETTER' FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS – THIS REPRESENTS ‘BETTER’ FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

 

 

 

For ‘Everyone who is Sad, Alone, Depressed, Stuck in Darkness – YOU ARE NOT ALONE

The Most basic human emotions

Being stuck with negative emotion after a loss in life can change us, being stuck in the darkness of sadness when our life changes for the worst can and will change the strongest of us. I would never sit here or anywhere and claim to know the truth or say I understand how your sadness, or any emotion can be stopped. Right now I personally am in a personal Hell. I don’t write for me because I can openly talk to the right people. It is hard to talk, and it’s not something I enjoy, but I have to fight, like you I have reasons and people to fight for. You are not the only one hurting or sad, depressed or nearing the end of your patience with life, far from it! This is a Taboo subject that not many people can open up about, and this is totally understandable and allowed.

 

Some leave clues to sadness and pain, if we look and listen, we can be helped

Recently, through NHS neglect I have found myself opened up to pain and emotions I have not felt for a long time. Like you I was once happy, living, caring, social, I could go out into the World and join in. When I say NHS neglect I must pull that emotion back and say it’s just human error. People put us on Drugs, we become addicted, and then they take us off them and leave us in utter HELL because our body is craving the drug. I must now turn the coin around and say ‘Alcohol and Drugs’ are not the answer. Drs put me on about 12 different drugs over the last Decade and a half, and today I am happy to try and understand why I have to let these drugs leave my system, but it’s the hardest thing I have ever done, but like you maybe, I need put on Drugs that HELP, Drs may have already killed me. I must say if it wasn’t for FELLOW SUFFERERS I may have given in already. I am told ‘There is a light at the end of the tunnel of pain’ – I can’t yet even see the tunnel, let alone the light. Today I am suffering, but those closest to me, and I mean as close as could be, are suffering worse, because I CHOOSE to trust a Drs advice on ‘Smothering it all with prescribed drugs’ – I have 2 little girls in this house and this is hidden from them, think Daddy has a sore knee, but they are 7 and 8 years old, I know it will break their heart when we have to tell them all about life THEY ARE THE REASON I am typing this at around 4am on a freezing cold Scottish night. Already I have been here an hour, but slowly I am getting the words out somehow. Yesterday (Wednesday) my body went into sever withdrawal and a few organs started to close down. But I made it through another day. I want to RIGHT NOW take my own life to make life better for those I love or call friend. But my Daughters need me, so I can’t be selfish; I have to ‘Man up’ and become strength. The first people I hope to see this strength are my Daughters and their Mother. I can only try, all I can write in this moment is ‘I am trying’ – I walked away from almost everyone I used to love being around, I chase people away because I an angry, but its ok, sometimes we should and can be angry. As I said above, others leave us clues. I hope you can find your way to cope. This isn’t mine, but I am reaching out in the hope the RIGHT PEOPLE read and reach back. The song below starts around 40 seconds in, they lyrics are too much for some, but some of us can live with this music. The proof of this is, it’s a video. It isn’t fair, it hurts and it’s ok to not be ok.

 

 

 

 

MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

blogger-for-peace-van-2

BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS - THIS REPRESENTS 'BETTER' FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS – THIS REPRESENTS ‘BETTER’ FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

 

 

 

 

If Only We Could Be Strangers Again….

I started doing this blog or ‘personal diary’ around the year 2011 for reason’s I really can’t remember. It was called ‘Praying for one more day’, so I guess the title of the blog then was my reason. I came across as pathetic and wanting off sympathy maybe? I don’t actually care how many people read this page anymore, but I just checked and between 200 and 400 people read my page every day! Who are you…lol? Why? Why do you read the ramblings of a mad-man? Come forward and speak, please?

It is now late 2017 and here is ‘ShaunyNews’ I used to share World news the Main Stream Media would not cover, in a vain attempt to give others knowledge of the TRUTH. Oh how pathetic I was.

Anyway, this has taken an hour so far just to get to this stage; I may as well share a story. I just watched a movie starring Will Smith called ‘Collateral Beauty’ and wow did I cry like a little girl! But how UN-manly of me to admit I cried right? If you watch movies and love what a movie can do to you, like a song can, I advise you watch this movie. But only if you can take the emotion that is shared in the movie. I am warning you, this movie is upsetting! An emotion we all hide from in 2017

Collateral Beauty Official Trailer 1 (2016) – Will Smith Movie
Via Movieclips Trailers on You Tube

I mean what is a man in 2017? Tough, courageous, thoughtful? Brave? I really don’t care what the World says a man should be, I only care what my heart and soul tell me what is right these days. Every day is a battle for me, but EVERY DAY IS A BATTLE FOR EVERYONE, It took 6 years of typing on this page for me to figure out we all have a something, a thing that holds us back, an emotion we hide and protect ourselves from. Why? Well it is socially unacceptable behavior to show emotion in the year 2017, especially if you are a man. Yeah it all confuses me too!

Today the pain is killer, my mind is a mess. This process of getting up, living, then going to sleep again is now past Groundhog Day for me. The eventually of my existence is neither less nor more than yours, I know this much. Social status, how rich we are what we do, what we don’t do is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Today in 2017 not many people care enough, but I don’t think many realize they do it. Social Stigma, people pointing at our every action is something many avoid, yet here I am making myself a target, and that is ok, no! Really it is

The only certainty in life is Death, so till that day arrives should we live freely?

Often I do think about my past and everyone in my today and yesterday and think “What if we awoke total strangers to each other tomorrow”? What then? Would we walk past each other, would we stop and think ‘Déjà vu’? That is a thought, just a thought but one a movie invoked in me to write about.

See life can be as simple as just breathing in then breathing out, smiling and trying for the right reasons. Looking at what we do have as opposed to what we wish we did have. Stopping to notice how lucky we are in an uncaring World of 2017. Take a look at the news on the TV from time to time and then just stop and look around your own life. It ain’t so bad is it? But this all sounds easy to do, sadly for me it is not easy, everything is hard, I could blame people or life, so I will just blame both 😀

When will you start to live the way you want, and not the way life dictates how you should live? What binds these invisible shackles of oppression to us? Social stigma and Social bandwagons out-with our own control? I told you I think a lot! If what I write here is wrong to anyone, I would hate to know what is correct or ‘Socially Acceptable’ to the people of the year 2017, today I mean. After-all, my Words here will still be here LONG after I am gone. I would love to be around to see what people think of me, or maybe about the way I am able to express myself. I guess I will never know yeah? But do know I do look outwards to and at other people and dissect them in a way to purely understand them, God knows I try! But the only people I can look to or at and see fun, happy, honesty and love are my two Daughters. What World will await them? This is 2017, when they are my age it will be roughly the year 2055, how bad or good will the World be for them? NOW THAT GIVES ME FOOD FOR THOUGHT!

Till the next ramblings….

MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

blogger-for-peace-van-2

BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS - THIS REPRESENTS 'BETTER' FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS – THIS REPRESENTS ‘BETTER’ FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE