Finally in the ‘Mental Health’ System – LONG, HARD, ROAD AHEAD – I SEE HOPE!

Living with severe pain and severe mental health issues. My first blog for a while here, and I didn’t really want to do it either, but as we reach out, others reach back. It started for me, the journey of pain and mental health about 15 years ago. I had issues from Childhood that haunted me when I was signed off from being allowed to Work all these years ago. The cycle of pain and mental health is a tricky one. The medications I am now on are less, but better and just as powerful. Today I am TRYING to start being a sit-down DJ again through the Stafford Center below and also singing lessons to FINALLY TRY and sit on a stage and create moment of ‘Music’. Always I have this view that Sport, Politics, Religion, and the worse one, MONEY just divide us all, well most of us. For me, just me, Music is my God, it speaks to me, and it listens back. I need a stage, I need to be part of something for myself. I spent too long doing things for others. I lost most of my Family because of these issues, but Family who mock, don’t understand, make things worse, are they worth having? For me no, but we all have our own ways. What I do know is, when we get ill in ANY way and it effects us badly, people walk away. FAMILY say things like “I am not getting involved”, but who am I to talk, I walked away from the emotion of HATE I had and still do have. Family just unable to hear us speak and just say ‘Nice one’ then change the subject. I am fighting for myself this time. I have lost, BUT SO HAVE YOU. We ALL have a something, we all have things holding us back, making us dread moving forward. We all lose, we all hurt, we are all just human. We live in a selfish money chasing brainwashed World. So I am doing this for me, but I have two little Girls here, my Daughters. All I am trying to do is make sure they are like their brothers, I hope they grow up and find HAPPY, without money, hate, anger, struggle. And understand who they want in their lives as they grow. They are only 7 and 8 years old, but my Job is to gently and over time tell them ‘It is your life, you make the choices, and to NEVER allow another to dictate to them in any way possible’, it really is that simple. Like you I am surrounded by people not in control, and these people work, have money, CHOOSE the life they lead, and are owned by emotions and the emotions of others. I dislike these people because of the impact they have on my Girls. Never hate, I say it below always. Just typing to TRY and connect. This took me like 3 hours today 😀 I hope 2 people read it.

BE KIND TO YOURSELF!

DON’T ALLOW OTHERS TO STEAL YOUR LIFE, THOUGHTS OR EMOTIONS.

Be yourself and NEVER compromise this. When you do, you give your control to others.

For now…

..Below is the system of help I am in just now. I will be adding a pain-team back to this list shortly

~~~~~

This was my first HELP about 12 years ago:

@Dr_A_Dobbin – On Twitter

https://www.facebook.com/PositiveMentalTraining/

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The River Center is for people suicidal, depressed, just lost in life:

~~~~~

I am now here. The possibility to be a DJ again, AND TO SING (Is the plan)

https://www.facebook.com/TheStaffordCentre

~~~~~

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BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

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Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

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For ‘Everyone who is Sad, Alone, Depressed, Stuck in Darkness – YOU ARE NOT ALONE

The Most basic human emotions

Being stuck with negative emotion after a loss in life can change us, being stuck in the darkness of sadness when our life changes for the worst can and will change the strongest of us. I would never sit here or anywhere and claim to know the truth or say I understand how your sadness, or any emotion can be stopped. Right now I personally am in a personal Hell. I don’t write for me because I can openly talk to the right people. It is hard to talk, and it’s not something I enjoy, but I have to fight, like you I have reasons and people to fight for. You are not the only one hurting or sad, depressed or nearing the end of your patience with life, far from it! This is a Taboo subject that not many people can open up about, and this is totally understandable and allowed.

 

Some leave clues to sadness and pain, if we look and listen, we can be helped

Recently, through NHS neglect I have found myself opened up to pain and emotions I have not felt for a long time. Like you I was once happy, living, caring, social, I could go out into the World and join in. When I say NHS neglect I must pull that emotion back and say it’s just human error. People put us on Drugs, we become addicted, and then they take us off them and leave us in utter HELL because our body is craving the drug. I must now turn the coin around and say ‘Alcohol and Drugs’ are not the answer. Drs put me on about 12 different drugs over the last Decade and a half, and today I am happy to try and understand why I have to let these drugs leave my system, but it’s the hardest thing I have ever done, but like you maybe, I need put on Drugs that HELP, Drs may have already killed me. I must say if it wasn’t for FELLOW SUFFERERS I may have given in already. I am told ‘There is a light at the end of the tunnel of pain’ – I can’t yet even see the tunnel, let alone the light. Today I am suffering, but those closest to me, and I mean as close as could be, are suffering worse, because I CHOOSE to trust a Drs advice on ‘Smothering it all with prescribed drugs’ – I have 2 little girls in this house and this is hidden from them, think Daddy has a sore knee, but they are 7 and 8 years old, I know it will break their heart when we have to tell them all about life THEY ARE THE REASON I am typing this at around 4am on a freezing cold Scottish night. Already I have been here an hour, but slowly I am getting the words out somehow. Yesterday (Wednesday) my body went into sever withdrawal and a few organs started to close down. But I made it through another day. I want to RIGHT NOW take my own life to make life better for those I love or call friend. But my Daughters need me, so I can’t be selfish; I have to ‘Man up’ and become strength. The first people I hope to see this strength are my Daughters and their Mother. I can only try, all I can write in this moment is ‘I am trying’ – I walked away from almost everyone I used to love being around, I chase people away because I an angry, but its ok, sometimes we should and can be angry. As I said above, others leave us clues. I hope you can find your way to cope. This isn’t mine, but I am reaching out in the hope the RIGHT PEOPLE read and reach back. The song below starts around 40 seconds in, they lyrics are too much for some, but some of us can live with this music. The proof of this is, it’s a video. It isn’t fair, it hurts and it’s ok to not be ok.

 

 

 

 

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THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

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Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

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If Only We Could Be Strangers Again….

I started doing this blog or ‘personal diary’ around the year 2011 for reason’s I really can’t remember. It was called ‘Praying for one more day’, so I guess the title of the blog then was my reason. I came across as pathetic and wanting off sympathy maybe? I don’t actually care how many people read this page anymore, but I just checked and between 200 and 400 people read my page every day! Who are you…lol? Why? Why do you read the ramblings of a mad-man? Come forward and speak, please?

It is now late 2017 and here is ‘ShaunyNews’ I used to share World news the Main Stream Media would not cover, in a vain attempt to give others knowledge of the TRUTH. Oh how pathetic I was.

Anyway, this has taken an hour so far just to get to this stage; I may as well share a story. I just watched a movie starring Will Smith called ‘Collateral Beauty’ and wow did I cry like a little girl! But how UN-manly of me to admit I cried right? If you watch movies and love what a movie can do to you, like a song can, I advise you watch this movie. But only if you can take the emotion that is shared in the movie. I am warning you, this movie is upsetting! An emotion we all hide from in 2017

Collateral Beauty Official Trailer 1 (2016) – Will Smith Movie
Via Movieclips Trailers on You Tube

I mean what is a man in 2017? Tough, courageous, thoughtful? Brave? I really don’t care what the World says a man should be, I only care what my heart and soul tell me what is right these days. Every day is a battle for me, but EVERY DAY IS A BATTLE FOR EVERYONE, It took 6 years of typing on this page for me to figure out we all have a something, a thing that holds us back, an emotion we hide and protect ourselves from. Why? Well it is socially unacceptable behavior to show emotion in the year 2017, especially if you are a man. Yeah it all confuses me too!

Today the pain is killer, my mind is a mess. This process of getting up, living, then going to sleep again is now past Groundhog Day for me. The eventually of my existence is neither less nor more than yours, I know this much. Social status, how rich we are what we do, what we don’t do is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Today in 2017 not many people care enough, but I don’t think many realize they do it. Social Stigma, people pointing at our every action is something many avoid, yet here I am making myself a target, and that is ok, no! Really it is

The only certainty in life is Death, so till that day arrives should we live freely?

Often I do think about my past and everyone in my today and yesterday and think “What if we awoke total strangers to each other tomorrow”? What then? Would we walk past each other, would we stop and think ‘Déjà vu’? That is a thought, just a thought but one a movie invoked in me to write about.

See life can be as simple as just breathing in then breathing out, smiling and trying for the right reasons. Looking at what we do have as opposed to what we wish we did have. Stopping to notice how lucky we are in an uncaring World of 2017. Take a look at the news on the TV from time to time and then just stop and look around your own life. It ain’t so bad is it? But this all sounds easy to do, sadly for me it is not easy, everything is hard, I could blame people or life, so I will just blame both 😀

When will you start to live the way you want, and not the way life dictates how you should live? What binds these invisible shackles of oppression to us? Social stigma and Social bandwagons out-with our own control? I told you I think a lot! If what I write here is wrong to anyone, I would hate to know what is correct or ‘Socially Acceptable’ to the people of the year 2017, today I mean. After-all, my Words here will still be here LONG after I am gone. I would love to be around to see what people think of me, or maybe about the way I am able to express myself. I guess I will never know yeah? But do know I do look outwards to and at other people and dissect them in a way to purely understand them, God knows I try! But the only people I can look to or at and see fun, happy, honesty and love are my two Daughters. What World will await them? This is 2017, when they are my age it will be roughly the year 2055, how bad or good will the World be for them? NOW THAT GIVES ME FOOD FOR THOUGHT!

Till the next ramblings….

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THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

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Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

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♫ Battle Symphony ♫

Another Linkin Park song and this one has lyrics that we will all define in a different way. For me these lyrics are saying “I use Music to battle” whatever that battle is. We ALL have a battle going on, we all find coping mechanisms to help us fight our battles. For me it’s always Music. My family and close friends are a given in terms of ‘They are my first thought” but outside that Music is the saviour of my soul and mind. I find getting lost in a song, the lyrics, the beat; we can own it and play it till it gets stuck in our minds for days and days, even forever. I had one of my sons visit me during the week and his Wife, an amazing woman joked about my son “He plays the same song for days on end” 😀 But this is something my own partner says about me. It is a running joke, just fun that some of us use Music to heal ourselves. Just find the right lyrics or right words and it can make us turn to something else. As I always say, when we lost #Anger #Hate and #Fear, we become something else. But it ain’t easy, to try and lose these 3 emotions is a battle. Being #Anger is easy, being #Hate is easy, being #Fear is Human. Being the opposite of these 3 emotions takes hard work as the basic human instinct is to hate, to be angry and to be fearful. I have been anger, I have been hate and I am often fearful still. But all I can do, same as you, is try. All anyone can do it try, maybe not for ourselves, but we must find reason, even when there is no reason. Again, just my own thoughts.Thought I can have and own from time to time. Written by someone who loves me and helps me every day of her life FOR FREE. I did not promise her this life, but I do what I can.

I worry more for others than myself. We live in a World where GREED has poisoned the souls of the people in charge, and those of you who can read this MIGHT think your life is awful, trust me it could be worse! You could be in Syria, Iraq or worse Yemen where Genocide happens daily with the use of bombs and bullets paid for with money that COULD build hospitals, hire Dr’s, help the poor and in need. I know many people don’t help themselves but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, some people just get thrown a life and it’s hard. Yet the people I voted for don’t have full control. I am helped and I am thankful, but I look to other Countries and my 1st thought when I am allowed to own a thought is “OH HOW LUCKY WE ARE HERE”, wherever Democracy allegedly exists. Yeah, like Spain? Yeah Democracy right?, right?

My own father tells me always “I cry for humanity” and now I am an adult with kids and a life I did not offer to those around me, I see it too. If only our Politicians were not so scared easy to DO BETTER. Money has ruined us all. A clean slate is needed. In the meantime, find God, find whatever gets you through your hell, even if you don’t think you are in or going to hell. The World will judge YOU anyway and our Future will look at our leaders today and say “WHY DID THEY KILL THIS WORLD” Damn us all for allowing our World to have to BATTLE to breath!! In the very sense of the Word. Our Future will spit in our graves and I don’t blame them 😦

~~~~~

Battle Symphony (Official Lyric Video) – Linkin Park
Via: Linkin Park on YouTube

 

~~~~~

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THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

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Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

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♫ For anyone with Mental Health issues ♫

Images and Lyrics. For anyone with Mental Health issues – Chester Bennington – Numb – I myself suffer from Suicidal thoughts and a ton more. But I don’t suffer in silence nor alone. I talk, I speak up, and I have MANY good friends who are like me. Policemen, Trades Workers, Teachers, Sports Coaches, pretty much EVERY level of Society there are people I know who have a daily thought of Suicide. Many call it depression, for me it’s just darkness, sadness.

For anyone with Mental Health issues – Chester Bennington – Numb
Via:  Shaun Gibson on You Tube

NEVER SADNESS FOR ME in-terms of ‘Shaun’, my sadness is for our World. Sadness for the World around me, sadness for the entire World. But when I say this, I know, we all know, many don’t believe us. They think we want sympathy, feeling sorry for us. Not what we want, we just want to talk about together so we don’t lay it on loved ones. Life CAN be that easy, why some resist the easy and make it harder still, is beyond my thoughts. Never in hate…Always in peace and love. Shaun

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Skype Username: shaunyg1973
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♫ One More Light ♫ Linkin Park ♫

This song is just EPIC, the lyrics are what Chester Bennington was telling the World, his Suicide was a shock, a surprise, but only now do we understand Chester was singing his way out. I recently told my Family and loved ones I live with Suicide myself, very hard to come out of that closet, but we must not treat Suicide as a secret nor a Taboo subject. It is a living breathing emotion people deal with on a daily basis. Like I always say ‘Regret is ONLY regret when we allow it to be regret’ As a species we MUST notice each other more, or we live in regret for life. “Who cares when 1 more light goes out” is a lyric, this song speaks to souls. Some will hear morbid, some will hear hope, sadness, but that is Music right? We all hear different things. #SuicideMustHaveAVoice #MusicIsSoulFood

~~~

One More Light (Official Video) – Linkin Park
Via Linkin Park on You Tube

~~~

Lyrics

[Verse 1]
Should’ve stayed, were there signs, I ignored?
Can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?

We saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep
There are things that we can have, but can’t keep

[Chorus]
If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In the sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
Or quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do

[Verse 2 ]
The reminders, pull the floor from your feet
In the kitchen, one more chair than you need, oh

And you’re angry, and you should be, it’s not fair
Just ’cause you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it, isn’t there

[Chorus]
If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In the sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
Or quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do

[Instrumental + Bridge]
(I do)

[Chorus/Outro]
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In the sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
Or quicker, quicker

Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do
Well I do

x

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Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

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Suicide is not always a ‘One-off-Act’ – It’s a living thought for People

When you start reading, keep reading, THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME, YOU WILL SEE! Today is and all across Social Media today I am reading people debate it, some are talking about the way they think they understand Suicide, some are mocking the WEAKNESS of Suicide. Many say “Suicide is the Cowards way out” I disagree personally, for me the thought of Suicide is a thought of ‘Release’ but not for me, for everyone who cares for me. I can’t just get in my car and GO LIVE, I have two little girls here age 8 and 7 years old, THEY ARE MY REASON, when Suicide becomes an option. What are your reasons? Suicide is so very Taboo, some see anger, hate, depression, some just see something else. Today I come out of my closet and say “I live with Suicide every waking moment” and for me this is a small victory or release.

Leroy Sanchez; People Help The People
Via: amyarmitage1 on You Tube

I have lost too many people to suicide, I have nearly lost loved ones to Suicide, only to see other loved ones MOCK the person who tried it. Saying “How dare they” and other pathetic sayings. I say “IF YOU REALLY CARE FOR SOMEONE, THEN GO HELP THEM” Suicide comes at you with a smile, fun, funny people are suicidal. Think of anyone you know who has committed Suicide or tried, more times than not we think “WOW, I DID NOT EXPECT IT FROM THEM, THEY ARE STRONG” So I say it again, Suicide comes at you with a smile, in fun. The funniest people I know, the strongest people I know are the ones who are Suicidal, tried or dead. I see a World of people just too busy to see each other, too busy chasing the wrong emotions. Are they selfish? Hell no! How can they be if they don’t know, yet many of us do look at everyone and think “Are they Suicidal” Suicide rates have tripled in just a generation, does it matter if it is men or woman, young or old? No, life is life, it’s precious, love it and start noticing it. Or you WILL live in Regret for life. This message isn’t for me, it’s for the World, my World too. I am at one with who I am, what I do and why. I tire of trying to meet people in the middle, I tire of people chasing the wrong things. I am TRYING to chase life and happy, and I will do my best. It’s all ANY of us can do. If anyone reads this and feels ‘THIS IS AIMED AT ME’, then that emotion is yours, so do something about it, I BEG

DJXEai-XoAArgq8

I spent a LOT of time with Suicidal people, we talk, exchange ‘WHY’ and then we find solace in others. We find a way to talk about Suicide and thus giving it a voice and reason. We can’t as a species keep saying, thinking nor presuming “They want pity” or “They want Sympathy” No, we need to get our priorities in order and SEE THE TRUTH STARING AT US IN THE FACE. Regret is only regret when we allow it. I am Suicidal! Are you? Do you know anyone who is? If you know a Suicidal person, think of them, who they live with, how it impacts others the Suicidal person and those around them. Our World just looks and judges, it is now time to help, or we live LIFE in regret. Please start to help, please start to notice. The ability to talk Suicide is STRENGTH, and don’t let anyone tell you different. As always, thank you to another who helped me write this, and as always I end this blog with the same message

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BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

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Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

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I WANT, I NEED, I WANT, I DEMAND – MONEY IS ROOT OF ‘ALL’ EVIL

My whole life I have seen Money, worse yet I have seen what money does to people, what money will make people do, people PRETENDING to love you for your money. I walked away many years ago from the ‘Money Chasers’ There is a HUGE difference between ‘Needing Money’ and ‘Chasing the illusion of Money’. I have seen blood spilled, woman hurt, families torn apart and worse because of ‘Money’. I have been poor and rich and all in-between, but I #ChooseHappy

Imagine you are poor, living in a flat somewhere with very little, struggling to pay the rent, struggling to feed your family, unable to have a big TV or fancy furnishings, unable to have a car nor pay for it’s upkeep. Well I know many like what I have just described there and they are happy, very happy. Yet I know people who make £100,000 a year or close to that amount, they are not happy. I have seen poor people get money only for it to destroy the happy they had, I have seen unhappy rich people lose it all and commit suicide, cause #Hate #Anger and #Fear in themselves and others, all over money.

The Beatles – Can’t Buy Me Love
Via TheBeatlesVEVO on You Tube

Money can buy MOMENTS, money can buy you a Wedding, a Holiday a new car, new TV, new sofa, Cable TV, Internet, you name what you want and money can buy you this, but the effects wear off, the honeymoon period ends and you are STUCK with the brain you had at the start with everything you thought you needed. I am not rich, but I am not poor, I am just happy with my lot I guess.  I have had people I love, and will keep loving actually visit people for MONEY or money reasons, people lie about it and all for money, it’s disgusting. My problem is I suffer from M.E. (Myalgic Mencephalomyelitis) + Fibromyalgia + PTSD and Psychosis and this may be the drugs or/and illness talking, or maybe I am having a moment of self-reflection, I can never tell, BUT MONEY CAN’T MAKE ME BETTER. But if you are reading this and you know me, and I know you, and we don’t talk to people because of Money or can’t admit WHAT YOU DO OR DID FOR MONEY, I ask you stay away from me and mine, because I actually know the harm money can do to everyone. I know people who won the lottery BIG!! Over £10 Million, they are now poor. I know people who won £1 Million and again they are again poor. They thought ‘Money’ could change the life they had, in most cases people came running to them when they knew they had money, only to leave them when the money was gone, I could share MANY stories, we all could if we were honest enough. I used to chase money, but I should have known better, I hate people who chase money, but AGAIN, the NEED for Money is different from Chasing Money

Love and happy can’t be bought for life, happy can be bought for a moment, short moment or long moment, but money can’t buy the joy of having Children, can’t buy love, can’t heal people with bad health. I had a sibling who had Cancer when I was a kid, there was a LOT of Money there yet no amount of money could save this person from Cancer, but they are still here, the drugs worked, the money was useless, I could share 100 stories. Look at what our Governments do for money and we all agree ‘It’s Sickening’, yet how many reading this chase money or know others who chase money? I found ‘Happy’ and be me poor or rich today or tomorrow, I stay happy. I was taught by both my parents to lose 3 emotions, I don’t know if they meant it, but they sure did, #Hate, #Fear and #Anger, when we lose these 3 emotions, WE LIVE, WE ARE FREE FROM EMOTIONS THAT CAUSE DISFUNCTION IN ALL AND ANY WAY. That is all. As always thank you to the person who helped me do this blog, typing is difficult, clarity of mind is very hard, so having the right people around YOU is key to Happy

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BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

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Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

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For us Daddys watching our little girls grow up…..

[Parent thing here] HUGE EVENT happening here [Well it is for me] 😦 One of my two Daughters is having a 1st EVER sleep-ever at a friends house 🙂 One moment we are holding a little baby, before you know it, they are going to stay with friends and we also have two sons who are now Parents themselves, THEY GROW UP TOO QUICK! I demand my Daughters stop growing up 😀 But I am selfish if I do this, lol – And me being the Dad I am, I am all worried and concerned 😀 People mock me for this, but it’s who I am, I fear no person, yet small details can hit my heart so hard. Ever since I was like 8 years old, as long as I can remember I been like this, always HATE saying goodbye to people I love, is it a flaw? is it a bad thing? or is it just love? And why is ‘Love’ so Taboo? I think I know what it is, you will feel like all as you do. She stayed with Family many times, but this is her first sleep-over with friends. Some poor woman has about 8 kids sleeping over, all from the same class-room 😀 Good luck to her I say. So she about to go for the night, I can see the house she is going to stay the night in, from my house, ish. Yet still I am getting all upset and worried. But hiding it well for her. She is a wee bag of emotions too. Totally nothing to worry about, let alone write about it on Social Media. But I don’t wear my ‘Heart on my sleeve’. I wear my everything for all to see on my sleeve. I hide NO EMOTIONS, I never have been able to, so I stopped. What I will say is. What would people rather? [A] A big angry bastard of a man/woman, or [B] A man/woman who cares? All parents and all men and woman, what emotion could you live with, what emotions do you hold true to you. WHEN WE THINK “WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK’, WE ARE NOT OURSELVES, no! we are becoming what society EXPECTS from us. I say feck Society. I got a heart and I use it best I can. I love my Daughters more than a word can explain, and the small things hurt so hard. Crazy thing right? lol – The thing I think people close or near me can’t understand about me is, on 1 side, in the right moment, a bad moment, I will protect what is mine, who I love, with MY LIFE, I am scared of nobody and nothing. Yet flip that old coin over, and like most, if not all parents with kids, be them young or old, WE NEVER LOSE THAT PROTECTIVE FEELING. When they are not in our sight we all act and feel different. If I am anything, I am just frickin real, lol – So tell me Friends. How are people like me judged? I am interested 😀

~~

Tim Mcgraw – My little Girl

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MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

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BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS - THIS REPRESENTS 'BETTER' FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS – THIS REPRESENTS ‘BETTER’ FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

 

The Human Chaos Theory

The Human Chaos Theory is something I noted last year sometime and today in a rare moment of half clarity I can spend a few hours listening to music while watching both our Worlds go by from my view and add words to a though that we all think. I woke up from a bad dream if I remember or maybe a confusing dream and I left myself a little note called ‘The Human Chaos Theory’. Back then all I could think was the title, this morning on a cold Scottish morning again I woke up after a dream and I now have the words to place here, or least enough words to start, maybe you can add more?. I will try and put my point across as quickly as I can, because I know the human condition, it has little time in its hour of boredom to be awoken, it is self serving, egotistical, wanting for things they already have, we believe money will cure us, when in-fact money harms us, but we also have the capacity for love and a level of caring we claim to behold on each other, yet we lie, I have lied, so have you. Money harms us in our day to day, and it harms our World through many means on a daily basis. We see it on the TV News or any medium of information giving and gathering, we give it a name in a moment, then we want the very thing we see destroying our World, but this is not all about money, it’s about HOW YOU THINK AND WHY

“Shaun, why do think so deeply?” is a question I personally as a human have had to answer too many times to too many people, but today I answer back with love, the ONLY emotion I can bring to any table these days. What makes us unhappy? What makes you unhappy as you read this? What makes you unhappy today, what made you unhappy yesterday and all the yesterdays before it? What will make you unhappy tonight and tomorrow and all the tomorrows to come? That is the question, the only question I can ask. And I again, I ask the World, not just you, no, please! Don’t be so selfish to think this is ABOUT YOU. There is your first lesson on the ‘The Human Chaos Theory’, but please keep in mind, in this moment you might be happy, I am trying to understand what makes me happy and unhappy and I am starting to think in most cases I bring it all onto myself, the same as you do, the same as our species do, but why? We can be happy or sad, yet the emotion I see most is hate and anger in our World, this confuses me and I know I am not alone

I see people as I sit here slowly typing away, I can look out 2 windows, I just seen an old woman from around the corner with walking sticks happily walking her two dogs and I looked up, smiled and gave her a little wave, she smiled and waved back. THAT WAS A HUMAN MOMENT, it was free as it was honest and these are the moments I personally look for every day. I am not the same person as I was last week, never mind 20 years ago or a year ago, but neither are any of us the same person we were in any yesterday we care to look back at.

A old wise man tells me often “Shaun, I cry for humanity” and he does on his level, when I was younger he would say this and I would just take it as a passing comment, today I feel it too, so whoever this old wise man is, thank you from the bottom of my soul for forcing me to look around myself and my own soul. The ability to just sit back with utter clarity of mind and see a butterfly is something money can’t buy you or anyone you know. I wish I could be better enough in my soul to see more of these moments, and I used butterfly as 1 example from an endless list of examples including of course things I will never see or feel, but this should not stop me or you from striving to feel that moment again or try and ask “Can you feel these small moments we often miss because our mind was elsewhere”, if your mind is elsewhere, then ask why? You are in a good place, if you can read this you are one of the lucky ones. I could share hell on Earth with you, but we get scared of it, not till hell or bad comes to our doors do we question the suffering our World places on us all, by each other and by lifes forces, that I don’t think we as a species have figured out, we are a young species, we are growing so fast yet so slowly at the same time, can you see it or feel it? Or don’t you care? Whatever the answer is, that is ok, just don’t harm others in your logical conclusions

We are nasty to each other, I have been nasty to people. We are egotistical against each other’s and the reason I can admit this and say this is I have been ego myself. My God! Writing this blog alone will pull the human ego in and I WILL BE JUDGED. But why? What makes others judge what is not theirs when there is no need to judge? I see people with kids who focus on only their own kids, but I also see people with kids who focus on other people’s kids with many emotions attached. This confuses me a lot. I have two little girls who call me Daddy 100 times a day, you may have people who call you Mum or Dad too or maybe they are too young to name the love they have for you yet? It doesn’t matter however, just accept that love and own it, keep it and call it your own, but please World, don’t deny others this same love or freedom of spirit to evolve forward for a better them, aimed at a better World

Our World is evil, and I don’t add God or the Devil or the bible or scripture written by other humans many hundreds of years ago, but I do 100% respect others who will apply God to this and think of him as I did the butterfly. Am I making any sense to your soul yet? I don’t ask to be named, tagger or labelled, but I will be, but so will you be, you have been and you always will be by our ‘Human Chaos Theory’ that is destructive in our face as we see it on our TVs and Internet. I observe in the same way a comedian does, the same way a musical does, the same as any art form looking for inspiration to write or think freely to imagine a better World with better people. I am no saint, but I am aiming to become one. It took me 43 years of living with Humans to understand, or at least start to understand the flaws and imbalance in our species that loves to place hard emotions on each other but are selfish with our feelings too and deny others the freedom of love. I am a medicated man so what you read here today is from a Disabled person from 2017 trying to figure out a World not of my making, a species not of my doing, emotions thrown at me from birth the same as you, I try to think past them, I think sideways because I refuse to go back or forward, we live RIGHT NOW and nowhere else. Right this moment you are alive! Yesterday is a memory and tomorrow is a wish or a guess, realise it and accept it, and I promise you the fruits of the World can be yours TO SHARE

I KNOW ANGRY, BECAUSE I WAS ANGRY

I KNOW SUFFERING, BECAUSE I HAVE SUFFERED

I KNOW PAIN BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN IN PAIN

I KNOW HATE BECAUSE I HAVE BEEEN HATEFUL

I KNOW MONEY BECAUSE I HAVE HAD NONE

I HATE MONEY BECAUSE I HAVE HAD SOME

I LOVE MY KIDS BECAUSE I KNOW MY PARENTS LOVE

I UNDERSTAND THE DEPTHS OF HELL BECAUSE I HAVE DINED WITH THE DEVIL

I UNDERSTAND GODS LOVE BECAUSE I HAVE DECIDED TO FEEL HIS LOVE

I NEVER ASK GOD FOR ‘ANYTHING’, I THANK GOD, EVERY DAY, HAVE DONE SINCE I WAS A WEE BOY

I SEE A SPECIES SO LOST, BECAUSE I WAS ONCE LOST

I SEE PEOPLE CRAVE THINGS THEY ALREADY HAVE IF THEY JUST LOOK AROUND

I SEE EMPTY PEOPLE READY TO BE FILLED WITH LIFE, BECAUSE I HAVE BE BEEN LIFELESS

I SEE SHALLOW PEOPLE BECAUSE I WAS ONCE AN EMPTY VESEL OF A PERSON

BUT I SEE THE HOPE WE ALL SHARE FOR A BETTER WORLD BECAUSE I HAVE FELT ITS HOPE

I SEE WHAT WE CAN BECOME BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN WHAT WE ARE

I SEE THE BEAUTY IN A PERSON BECAUSE I HAVE FELT UGLY

I HAVE FELT UGLY BECAUSE OF MY BEATY, I HAVE FELT BY BEAUTY BECAUSE I FELT UGLY

I CHOOSE TO TRY BECAUSE I HAVE GIVEN UP, I CHOOSE TO SMILE BECAUSE I HAVE CRIED

I CHOOSE TO BE HUMAN AND CARING, BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN NASTY AND HURT PEOPLE

Now keep repeating these lines over and over, till they stick in your mind for life. Or keep doing as you are doing and hope you get a life you want. Either way you have a choice, you have a final say in this World. Many say “I can’t change the World”, I have said it myself, but I have changed MY WORLD many times, have you? And right there you felt the emotion of ‘boasting’, yet I was not boasting, I was sharing what we all can be. And that is a better human for you, your loves ones and also our fragile Earth. You can add more or you can mock my Worlds, all I know is I am now ready to face what the final chapters of my life have for me, but I have some say in what I will become. I am a very fragile man, but I ask for no help because I have taught myself I can be anyone, be anything. I can lay down and listen to a song and own it as my own, I can watch a movie that moved me and play the part. Why should we all stop doing these things now? It’s all we have ever been doing for the love of God. Unique is my goal, I can’t blend in to my World, but I do blend into The World. I am becoming the best version of Shaun I can be for other people, what about you? Whatever you choose to do, please don’t make others suffer while you do it because this emotion will one day drag you down to levels you have taken others. Choose to lift people up because one day you may need lifted, don’t leave yourself alone as I have. I may be too late to bring people I love back but I am at one with what I done, my door has a bell and you can also knock it, you can call me, you don’t have to be alone, alone is choice sadly. But when we have no choices, how can we choose? It is all hard to take in isnt it? But this is living I am told. So how do you judge your own actions as a person, or do you even judge yourself, the first person we should judge each day is ourselves, yet we throw our own selves away and cast our emotions on others. And that is the ‘The Human Chaos Theory’. THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT IS ALL WE HAVE, lets choose to live today and accept the future as we build it together. Forget Politicians as they lie, Religion is your own call, if your heart has fear who am I to stop you connecting to God in your way? The very things that divide us are there for all to see, but the only thing left that can unite us is below in a song, and to the right hand side of this as you read it, I plant seeds in my own mind before I can even try and help another. Define away, but first define your own. The only emotion used in this 3 hours typing marathon was LOVE. But I ask, what did you feel? Only you can cause chaos and fit another emotion, or just feel love, YOU HAVE THE CHOICE. Start to apply and then you can never again deny

MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

blogger-for-peace-van-2

BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS - THIS REPRESENTS 'BETTER' FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS – THIS REPRESENTS ‘BETTER’ FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE