Dying Inside

After doing this blog here “Suicide is not always a ‘One-off-Act’ – It’s a living thought for People “ I got a few ‘Gossips’ from people who ‘should know better’, but also nothing from people I expect to be at our side, our being ‘Me and mine’ – When someone lives with Suicidal thoughts and a whole host of other issues like M.E. (Myalgic Mencephalomyelitis) + Fibromyalgia + PTSD and Psychosis, like I do, they want to die, I want to die, but I have reasons to live more important than myself, but I would love HELP to take the burden away from loved ones who watch me suffer, we don’t want sympathy or ‘What a shame’ and I hate this I get a lot ‘I feel sorry for you Shaun, you been through too much for someone so young”, yeah that tires your soul out that one. Sadly people I know say things like “That stupid fucking blog that Shaun does” But that’s it, they DON’T HELP THE PEOPLE AROUND ME WHO SUFFER BECAUSE OF MY ILLNESS. This is not about me. Think who hurts when one is watching another die, slowly or fast, it makes no fucking difference. This World is horrible, I am suicidal, but I will MAN UP as people say about me. But it is fucking hard to take the next step, the next breath. 5am, been up for a day and a half, pain is like death, my mind is scrambled and tied to the moon. Yet people who claim to ‘Love me’ are reading SOMETHING ELSE HERE, or wishing they had a voice? #NEWSFLASH, you do have a voice. Use it or shut the fuck up. I am aware there are people FAR WORSE than myself, but this is hard, every moment is ‘How can I kill myself’, but here I am, for now anyway. Regret is ONLY regret AFTER the event ❤ Peace

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♫ Dying Inside ♫
Via Shaun Gibson on You Tube

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MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

blogger-for-peace-van-2

BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS - THIS REPRESENTS 'BETTER' FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS – THIS REPRESENTS ‘BETTER’ FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

 

 

 

Suicide is not always a ‘One-off-Act’ – It’s a living thought for People

When you start reading, keep reading, THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME, YOU WILL SEE! Today is and all across Social Media today I am reading people debate it, some are talking about the way they think they understand Suicide, some are mocking the WEAKNESS of Suicide. Many say “Suicide is the Cowards way out” I disagree personally, for me the thought of Suicide is a thought of ‘Release’ but not for me, for everyone who cares for me. I can’t just get in my car and GO LIVE, I have two little girls here age 8 and 7 years old, THEY ARE MY REASON, when Suicide becomes an option. What are your reasons? Suicide is so very Taboo, some see anger, hate, depression, some just see something else. Today I come out of my closet and say “I live with Suicide every waking moment” and for me this is a small victory or release.

Leroy Sanchez; People Help The People
Via: amyarmitage1 on You Tube

I have lost too many people to suicide, I have nearly lost loved ones to Suicide, only to see other loved ones MOCK the person who tried it. Saying “How dare they” and other pathetic sayings. I say “IF YOU REALLY CARE FOR SOMEONE, THEN GO HELP THEM” Suicide comes at you with a smile, fun, funny people are suicidal. Think of anyone you know who has committed Suicide or tried, more times than not we think “WOW, I DID NOT EXPECT IT FROM THEM, THEY ARE STRONG” So I say it again, Suicide comes at you with a smile, in fun. The funniest people I know, the strongest people I know are the ones who are Suicidal, tried or dead. I see a World of people just too busy to see each other, too busy chasing the wrong emotions. Are they selfish? Hell no! How can they be if they don’t know, yet many of us do look at everyone and think “Are they Suicidal” Suicide rates have tripled in just a generation, does it matter if it is men or woman, young or old? No, life is life, it’s precious, love it and start noticing it. Or you WILL live in Regret for life. This message isn’t for me, it’s for the World, my World too. I am at one with who I am, what I do and why. I tire of trying to meet people in the middle, I tire of people chasing the wrong things. I am TRYING to chase life and happy, and I will do my best. It’s all ANY of us can do. If anyone reads this and feels ‘THIS IS AIMED AT ME’, then that emotion is yours, so do something about it, I BEG

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I spent a LOT of time with Suicidal people, we talk, exchange ‘WHY’ and then we find solace in others. We find a way to talk about Suicide and thus giving it a voice and reason. We can’t as a species keep saying, thinking nor presuming “They want pity” or “They want Sympathy” No, we need to get our priorities in order and SEE THE TRUTH STARING AT US IN THE FACE. Regret is only regret when we allow it. I am Suicidal! Are you? Do you know anyone who is? If you know a Suicidal person, think of them, who they live with, how it impacts others the Suicidal person and those around them. Our World just looks and judges, it is now time to help, or we live LIFE in regret. Please start to help, please start to notice. The ability to talk Suicide is STRENGTH, and don’t let anyone tell you different. As always, thank you to another who helped me write this, and as always I end this blog with the same message

MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

blogger-for-peace-van-2

BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS - THIS REPRESENTS 'BETTER' FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS – THIS REPRESENTS ‘BETTER’ FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

 

I WANT, I NEED, I WANT, I DEMAND – MONEY IS ROOT OF ‘ALL’ EVIL

My whole life I have seen Money, worse yet I have seen what money does to people, what money will make people do, people PRETENDING to love you for your money. I walked away many years ago from the ‘Money Chasers’ There is a HUGE difference between ‘Needing Money’ and ‘Chasing the illusion of Money’. I have seen blood spilled, woman hurt, families torn apart and worse because of ‘Money’. I have been poor and rich and all in-between, but I #ChooseHappy

Imagine you are poor, living in a flat somewhere with very little, struggling to pay the rent, struggling to feed your family, unable to have a big TV or fancy furnishings, unable to have a car nor pay for it’s upkeep. Well I know many like what I have just described there and they are happy, very happy. Yet I know people who make £100,000 a year or close to that amount, they are not happy. I have seen poor people get money only for it to destroy the happy they had, I have seen unhappy rich people lose it all and commit suicide, cause #Hate #Anger and #Fear in themselves and others, all over money.

The Beatles – Can’t Buy Me Love
Via TheBeatlesVEVO on You Tube

Money can buy MOMENTS, money can buy you a Wedding, a Holiday a new car, new TV, new sofa, Cable TV, Internet, you name what you want and money can buy you this, but the effects wear off, the honeymoon period ends and you are STUCK with the brain you had at the start with everything you thought you needed. I am not rich, but I am not poor, I am just happy with my lot I guess.  I have had people I love, and will keep loving actually visit people for MONEY or money reasons, people lie about it and all for money, it’s disgusting. My problem is I suffer from M.E. (Myalgic Mencephalomyelitis) + Fibromyalgia + PTSD and Psychosis and this may be the drugs or/and illness talking, or maybe I am having a moment of self-reflection, I can never tell, BUT MONEY CAN’T MAKE ME BETTER. But if you are reading this and you know me, and I know you, and we don’t talk to people because of Money or can’t admit WHAT YOU DO OR DID FOR MONEY, I ask you stay away from me and mine, because I actually know the harm money can do to everyone. I know people who won the lottery BIG!! Over £10 Million, they are now poor. I know people who won £1 Million and again they are again poor. They thought ‘Money’ could change the life they had, in most cases people came running to them when they knew they had money, only to leave them when the money was gone, I could share MANY stories, we all could if we were honest enough. I used to chase money, but I should have known better, I hate people who chase money, but AGAIN, the NEED for Money is different from Chasing Money

Love and happy can’t be bought for life, happy can be bought for a moment, short moment or long moment, but money can’t buy the joy of having Children, can’t buy love, can’t heal people with bad health. I had a sibling who had Cancer when I was a kid, there was a LOT of Money there yet no amount of money could save this person from Cancer, but they are still here, the drugs worked, the money was useless, I could share 100 stories. Look at what our Governments do for money and we all agree ‘It’s Sickening’, yet how many reading this chase money or know others who chase money? I found ‘Happy’ and be me poor or rich today or tomorrow, I stay happy. I was taught by both my parents to lose 3 emotions, I don’t know if they meant it, but they sure did, #Hate, #Fear and #Anger, when we lose these 3 emotions, WE LIVE, WE ARE FREE FROM EMOTIONS THAT CAUSE DISFUNCTION IN ALL AND ANY WAY. That is all. As always thank you to the person who helped me do this blog, typing is difficult, clarity of mind is very hard, so having the right people around YOU is key to Happy

MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

blogger-for-peace-van-2

BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS - THIS REPRESENTS 'BETTER' FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS – THIS REPRESENTS ‘BETTER’ FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE