The Broken Family Unit – It’s a Global Selfish Uncaring World!! God is Money!

Lately as I wake up to an uncaring World torn between what they desire and what they think they want, and also the lust for Money everywhere is very hurtful to stand back and watch. I remember when I was a child in the 1980’s, Family was close, if one fell, we all fell, then helped each other back up. Today the ‘Family Unit’ is broken and all I can see is Money and Ego getting in the way. My Father is in his early 70’s and lives on a small Island somewhere; he has Dementia and NOBODY CARES, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT HIM. It seems I am the ONLY person who keeps in touch with my Father, he has NOBODY really, he is alone with his thoughts and I have no idea being 700 miles away and unable to travel to him for ‘Many’ reasons, how bad things are for him, and everyone else is just caring about the people they stayed close too, like siblings, MY OWN, who turned away to the other side of whatever family. Jesus, the more I think about it, can I blame them? Pause for thought Shaun!

Me and my Nana in 1973

I remember when my Dads Mother, my Nana passed away, she died alone and unhappy. Often I think back to her, the top of my Family Tree and cry. I cry because ‘SOMETHING’ made people walk away from her, in the end she died alone and thinking nobody cared. I took ALL the blame because I was a bad kid, but I still tried, as I did along with one Aunt who sadly passed too were the ONLY PEOPLE to try. I visited most nights to make sure my Nana was in bed ok, the gas was turned off and she was safe. This was back in the 1990’s. I remember the wake after the funeral, the guilt I felt was self inflicted. My Aunt who has sadly passed away was there and came to me. She gave me a hug and said “Penny for your thoughts” I then told her what was on my mind, my Aunt cried a little and said words that helped, and I will never forget her for that and many reasons.

Edinburgh, Scotland – My Home

20 years on and my Family on BOTH SIDES is broken, I don’t see my own Sons any-more as ‘THEY DON’T WANT TO GET INVOLVED’ But involved in what? Life? Family? Love? Yeah it’s a confusing emotion. My own Mother is in a bad place and it’s SO HARD as I have NO IDEA how bad things are for her, not a clue, nobody speaks, nobody seems to give 2 fucks any more. It’s all ‘Me, Me, Me’ wherever I go, the IRONY of it all is wherever I go it’s all about ‘SHAUN’, and this is from people I have never seen in 20 years or seen in the passing a few times over the time we had two sons I am so proud off along with their Mother and now 2 little girls that literally keep me alive. But looking back I look back and smile, Edinburgh is my home, I want to leave the mess behind, but Edinburgh taught me all I know. Life just happens but Family from Childhood all moved away from Edinburgh, often I ask myself “IS EDINBURGH SO BAD” I don’t think so, it’s a beautiful place

[MUSIC VIDEO] The Lake Poets ‘EDINBURGH’
Via: The Lake Poets on YouTube

Memories

I see a World so uncaring, so Money oriented, so scared of ‘EMOTION’ it hurts, afraid to ‘Talk deeply’ even one time and move away from it. I have never left my Childhood in the sense I am still living my life around the same people and same area of Edinburgh, Scotland. But the Family unit IS BROKEN wherever I look, anywhere I look, most if not all families just DON’T CARE, and the ones who do care are selective on WHAT SIDE OF FAMILY THEY CARE FOR, sadly many chase the money and side-step people who are ill. It’s horrible to watch. Again I am ‘Irony’ I know it! But like many I get blamed always, so I may as well be irony and just take blame right?

I have two little girls here aged 8 and 7 years old; they are starting to take note of NO FAMILY. They don’t know why, I MUST take some blame as I do have a car but LIFE JUST SAYS I CAN’T DRIVE SOMETIMES. My partner does her VERY BEST to show my Girls life, but it’s ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE to sit with Family in all directions be them blood or not these days. People just hate, fear and loath over money or emotions life somehow forgot to teach a generation of people. Where did we go wrong globally, can you see it, do you even care? I know I do, but it’s like trying to fart against a storm to stop if. Yeah Scottish humor right there, got to keep smiling yeah?

What happened to us?

What happened to us all? What happened to you? What happened to me? What happened to us? Will you read this and ACCEPT BLAME? Because these days all I get from these kinds of people is ‘IT’S NOT MY FAULT’, YEAH! People just TAKE THE BLAME. I am a Grandfather in name only; I don’t see my Grandchildren and I am at the stage of giving up on EVERYONE. HOW FUCKING SAD IS THAT? And THEY will read this and just accept and not try to make up. I get it, sadly I understanding it. The worst decision I ever made was to wake up to this World, it’s IN DIRE TROUBLE

Right now if I could I would sell up, get a passport and take my Girls to Australia where I have some family who still ACTUALLY CARE. Recently I had 2 Cousins who flew from Australia to Scotland to spread ashes for a parent they lost and ONLY around 12 people or so showed up from the Scottish side of my Dads side of the Family, a family that is FUCKED. I am irony because I was not there myself, but I respected them by not going as certain people just want to get drunk and cause FIGHTS because they think ‘Being a Tough Person’ suits their style. I was one from 20 people who stayed away TO RESPECT my Australian family, I am not alone, about 10% of the Family turned up for them, Australia to Scotland and THIS!

[NOW HEAR ME OUT FFS] I was on HEROIN Levels of Drugs till a year or so ago till a voice in my head said “Tell the Dr you want out” and my Dr was amazing and changed medication allowing me to wake up JUST ENOUGH to see two little girls beside me, but also others who just ARE NOT INTERESTED in anyone bar themselves, I respect private people, I must respect hate, anger and fear in others because like you, do we have a choice? My pain is no worse nor no less than yours, my issues one and the same as you who read this. Put aside health and money for a moment and I see it, my friends see it, Family I do speak to feel like I do. It’s hurtful and awful.

I can almost remember this, I was always youngest

But Family members of mine will read this and see HATE, ANGER OR FEAR. The 3 emotions one of my Parents pressed me HARD to lose from my mind over many years. Always one of my parents was telling me “Shaun, hate anger and fear will drag you to the grave”!! So I listened and now all I do is hurt. I woke up to a level of dysfunction so badly I just want to smother the pain in drugs and say ‘Not interested’, this morning I TRIED TO REACH OUT TO A BROTHER AND A SISTER due to a worry I have for one of my Parents and I got NOTHING BUT ‘SHIT THROWN BACK IN MY FACE”, same old bullshit like “Aww Shaun!! People get old and it’s JUST LIFE” << WHAT ON EARTH HAS HAPPENED TO US ALL? I am close enough with many people still who hurt people with lack of caring people and it’s so hard to see. I have my life partner here HURTING daily because of lack of love from her OWN! You can’t deny this if you read, BUT YOU HAVE CHOICE TO FIX IT, and we are here should you decide to ‘GET INVOVLED’ in love of Family

I see 1 option for my Daughters, and it’s a new life, new ways, somewhere where people care. My only doubt and question is “DOES IT EXIST?” I fear it does not. But as long as I have air in my lungs and a mind to try hard, I will protect my Daughter from Hate, Anger and Fear like many friends and family and I who have young kids agree on “WE WILL NOT ALLOW OUR KIDS TO GROW UP AND BECOME SELFISH AND UNCARING PEOPLE” And I refuse to do this with my Daughters, AT ANY COST! Even if it hurts me to walk away totally.

I wish I felt the emotion to this picture….1975 I think

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THIS WORLD? I remember a Family so close on all sides, then I seen Drink and Drugs, abuse, hatred and more and people just slowly did what I IRONICALLY AM SAYING HERE…They just walked away! The old saying of “If you can’t beat them, join them” seems my only option for my Daughters. This rant, as it will be called a rant! if anything, it’s just a confused question of ‘HOW AND WHY’ can I help two little girls see love and happiness? I will do my best to search for answers for MY 2 DAUGHTERS!!! I must therefore be like the rest and turn around, walk away and say “I love you, but I must look after my own”

THE IRONY OF IT ALL IS KILLING ME! I am fucking BADLY disabled, my body lives in pain and my mind is FUCKED. Yet I feel I am the only person looking at our kids, all our kids, globally and thinking “HOW CAN I MAKE IT BETTER” – But then I pause, reflect, and KNOW there are people like me who want to mend the ‘Broken Family Unit’. How we sit back and allow each other to hurt and die alone, how we allow our minds to be turned by actions of perversion be them literal or fiscal is beyond my thoughts.

….I am lost, but I must find a way for 2 little girls. AT ANY AND ALL COST. No longer will I allow myself to be #Anger #Fear or #Hate, I purged my soul of these 3 deadly emotions. Sadly most people I see have not, most have 1 or 2 or all 3 emotions of Anger, fear and hate. Why?

It was ACTUALLY fun before….. lol – That is me crying North-West Scotland as my Sibling laughs 😀 Good times!!

Whoever reads this, and I only get about 300/500 reads per day these days [NOT THAT NUMBERS MATTER, I would rather 50 REAL people read it than 1,000 uncaring people read this, I am asking why has our World walked away from itself and to what? Money the illusion of happiness through the illusion of money?  But then I know people reading this will just point the finger back at me and my kind, and allow the circle of #Anger #Hate and #Fear to be in their very minds and souls, and transmit it to their own. So I MUST protect my girls from these emotions, so they grow to be free from these emotions. IF IT’S MY LAST ACT AS A HUMAN, THEN SO BE IT, I ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE WITH LOVE AND A SMILE.

 

When in Rome……..You know the rest surely! We give up on each other too easily. Why?

#Peace

I miss them all…All I knew!

MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

blogger-for-peace-van-2

BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS - THIS REPRESENTS 'BETTER' FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS – THIS REPRESENTS ‘BETTER’ FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

 

 

A Song To My Family

 

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“Shaun you really don’t care what you say or write” is what I hear often from people, even family. It was my choice to be where I am, it was my choice to live this life as you live yours. Don’t think either of us did wrong, all it was, was life. We become and that is all it is. I can’t connect with some people and others I connect with easy, you saying you find things different? I don’t hate anyone but I do miss many of you. I think back 20/30 years ago and remember we were not ruined by disfunction and issues we played no part in. Some events happened by selfish people and it tore us to bits. Do I hate them? No, I just wish they would try to admit then fix the problems they causes, because make no mistake they made bad decisions. I get so much grief from family but in reality the only things these family see of or from me are on this page. So who am I hurting? The answer is nobody, you decide and define and many are left in the middle. Today I don’t care really but a small part of me wished several events didn’t cause what it did. I am happy and I pray you are too.. And a few friends may be added here. Non medicated and stronger minded Shaun is waking up to the truth, but I have my life my love and all I need right here. So I will live it. Just leave me be, I want no part in your hate any more, I am not above you or below you, but don’t think I have forgotten the actions of many of you for what you did to many of us who you left hurting. I said it, now you can go and hate again and I won’t know because you are cowards. If you think this is aimed at you, it is. If you KNOW this isn’t aimed at you, I love you all the same. Where did life take us? Where did it go oh so wrong?

Wiz Khalifa (feat. Charlie Puth) – See You Again | LYRICS
Via Ibro Brulic on You Tube

MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

We all took our own paths

We all took our own paths

~~~~

ShaunyGibson Twitter: @ShaunyGibson
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ShaunyNews1/

Audio Message to Pro-Israeli People

20110528_usd000This is aimed at anyone who wants to argue or hate people who support Palestine as the Genocide from Israel keeps coming. Many can’t understand you Pro-Israel, I stopped trying, there is no debating you, you hate, you are Evil, you claim to love God and go to Church yet on the other side you show hatred and threaten people. And people tell me Religion doesn’t ruin our World. It surely does. This is aimed at Pro-Israel people. American Bible Belt People who, as I say, love God, go to church, yet can look at an image like the one below and try and defend it with bullshit. I got angry, I am Scottish, good luck understanding me. I never missed you Pro-Israel. Hate away, you won’t get it back. I have many American friends I love dearly, this is for the people who don’t know love, and only know hate, and teach their kids this hate. Vicious circle of hate, never ending

 

You make excuses for this. I can't handle that. I must speak up and out. If I offend you and it is not for you, I am sorry

You make excuses for this. I can’t handle that. I must speak up and out. If I offend you and it is not for you, I am sorry

The Circle Of Hate – Poem

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Saturday morning Not long up

Had this dream Nightmare really

Had to look out a window to check

Why did that have to happen to us?

~~

 25 year later the scars are still there

My Mum is my everything, I would die for her

Walking her to her new husband was amazing

The anger should remain in the past, it has to, it has to

~~ 

Never a day goes past I don’t think about what happened

What I seen, what I did, who I did it for and what I got for it

I hate myself for it, it keeps me awake, I can’t be him again

I look at all I have now and bow my head, ask God for help

~~ 

I ask for the guilt to leave me so I can love more, I need to

Like in the video below I lied to loved ones, I didn’t care at the time

At that time I was Superman but in the wrong way, I made it, I breath

Now I live in pain, agony, eating me, this is Karma at play, no doubt

~~ 

Why I had to do these things I don’t know, looking back I don’t

I wasn’t easily led, I was the leader, leader of a pack of animals

I had to show face, the same face my Dad wore, one day I ripped it off

I am now me, I regrette, I just want to live and smile now I had enough

~~ 

The thoughts, the anger, it’s still there, I fight to keep it at bay

I can snap as easy as a twig in the woods, I fight that shit

Now my priorities are right, they are the truth, they stay that way

The next person to test my truth will see what and who I was

~~ 

That is not me being Mr Smart Arse, it’s just a truth

I can’t be him again, not for Dawn or my kids, not for me

Hit me it won’t hurt, I hurt already, I want to love, love only

I do love, this was a dream, I am waking up, I smile at pictures of my kids

Had a dream about my Childhood, was awful, woke up crying. I have them from time to time. Luckily nobody else was awake, I just walked through to the Kitchen, wiped the tears, made a cup of tea, half an hour later the emotions are still here, I already shared what happened here http://deliberatedonkey.wordpress.com/2013/07/02/murder-and-more-through-the-eyes-of-a-child/ I don’t have too much to add. When my Dad was down last this song came on TV and he started to cry, I knew why, but I let him be, there were no words, what he did to my Mum should make me hate him, but I can’t, the circle of hate must end, it has to end

This was the song