Please Do Not Forget Me…………

SO not the best of headlines, but YES it was click-bait 😀 Just watched a 3 part TV show on channel 5 called ‘Celebs In Solitary‘ – Really got me thinking about ‘Solitude’ and how I have basically been in solitary myself, against my own will now for the best part of 15 years. NO SYMPATHY OR I WILL SHOOT YOU ALL 🙂 None of that. Was an amazing 3 Part TV show you can get on 5 Catch-up here in the UK. 4 People went in, London-born rapper Professor Green, World’s Strongest Man Eddie Hall, comedian Shazia Mirza and TV presenter Anthea Turner, all went in for 5 days, amazing programme on the Human mind if you care to watch it. For me it made me ask “COULD I DO THIS” The obvious answer from a medical point of view is ‘NO’ But from a psychological point of view, I think I could.

This show I could identify with easily. Stuck in a small place with only your mind to think. I live in agony. so what, my mind is always in some state of pretend in terms of funny, depressed and everything in-between. I am a STRONG LAD, I know my strengths and weaknesses for sure, do you? I know my limits, I know where I can and can’t be. Example I couldn’t sit in a room with 20 strangers, but I could sit on a stage and talk to 10,000 people, EASY!! And I could sing to 20,000 people EASY. I often sit in a Dr’s office and other ‘Social places’ and just don’t look up, head in my phone ‘JUST INCASE’ someone triggers me. I am not a safe person to be around when triggered, so I don’t be social, IT’S THAT SIMPLE. With the right people, kids, parents, partner, certain family and friends, NOT A PROBLEM. But stick me in an environment I can’t control and I can lose the plot. I am NOT A SCARED PERSON, but I am NOT sitting here typing ‘I am a hard fighting person either’ –  As I typed above, I know who I am am, where I am, and I have became comfy with it sadly. I say sadly because you DO GET COMFY LOCKED UP. I love being around my Kids, it’s a HAPPY PLACE. My Grand-kids too when I can. Give me a comfy zone and I can relax, my mind has learnt to just be myself. To give you an example of the Danger I can be, I could give you 100 different stories. Recently my partner and two Daughters 9 and 8 years old went to a local store to pick up furniture from a shop, the person at the till working said something, I drifted from smiling to EVIL LOOK….Then my 9 year old Daughter stood in-front of me, pulled my coat, I looked down, she was smiling saying ‘You ok Daddy’ – In a heartbeat I realized about 20 other people waiting to be served had noticed my reaction, I looked around, some winked as to say ‘I can understand why you nearly lost it‘ and others looked away. The guy behind the till was serving a woman and child in-front of us, and he was talking to the woman like she was shit on a shoe, so I put my head in and said to this ‘MAN’ “Mate go easy on her yeah” – He then lifted his head and said “Mind your own business” – I LOST IT, I started at him with Death in my eyes, I was ready to talk to him, to react. My Daughter saved me, but our Kids are our reasons, they do save us, they don’t know it, but they do. In reality I spend LOTS of my time in my Man-Cave , door closed and left alone, it’s not healthy, my Dr, psychologists and pain specialists all tell me “GET OUT MORE” – Easier said than done, as I say I know my own boundaries, I can control them in a room whilst alone, am I happy. FUCK YEAH. If like anyone reading this I accept the SHIT PART OF LIFE AS NORMAL, that is a road to nowhere, so remaining positive helps us all, please keep trying, don’t give in, find reason, finds reasons, find something to do. I used to blog 2 or 3 times a day WITH HELP but I stopped because I found singing, music helped me more, and of course my kids and anyone else who I love.

My Man-Cave

To sum up, WE ALL SUFFER, WE ALL HAVE SOMETHING HOLDING US BACK, WE CAN ALL REACH UNHAPPY, WE CAN ALL FIND PAIN…IF WE LOOK. I look and it’s a concept of the Human mind I have no control over, so I control what I can and leave things I can’t, it’s me being honest, 100% totally honest. I found being HONEST is a saving Grace to us all. I was a liar, a cheat, the worst version of me I could be. I was a broken man, today I am still a broken man, but I control the broken parts best I can. Giving up just isn’t IN MY BLOOD. My kids send me songs all the time, this one SAVED ME ONE DAY. I ask nobody for anything these days, I know for loved ones and friends they might be thinking “Does he like me or love me”, the answer is OF COURSE I DO. But I am respecting YOU by respecting my boundaries. Thank you for reading, and please REACH BACK if you are honest enough to feel you need to reach. Here I am just reaching to people who may be stuck in an emotion they can’t control. PLEASE REACH BACK

Shauny x

♫ LYRICS ♫
Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can’t
It isn’t in my blood
Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing
I’m overwhelmed and insecure, give me something
I could take to ease my mind slowly
Just have a drink and you’ll feel better
Just take her home and you’ll feel better
Keep telling me that it gets better
Does it ever?
Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough
Someone help me
I’m crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can’t
It isn’t in my blood
It isn’t in my blood
I’m looking through my phone again, feeling anxious
Afraid to be alone again, I hate this
I’m trying to find a way to chill, can’t breathe, oh
Is there somebody who could
Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough
Someone help me
I’m crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can’t
It isn’t in my blood
It isn’t in my blood
I need somebody now
I need somebody now
Someone to help me out
I need somebody now
Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can’t
It isn’t in my blood
It isn’t in my blood
It isn’t in my blood
I need somebody now
It isn’t in my blood
I need somebody now
It isn’t in my blood

MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

blogger-for-peace-van-2

BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS - THIS REPRESENTS 'BETTER' FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS – THIS REPRESENTS ‘BETTER’ FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

 

Evil Words – Poem

Condemned_Criminal_Origins_Logo

When the blood flows and the pain arrives it hurts

But I don’t want your sympathy, fuck no, just be real

Don’t go treating me different, I am me, I won’t change

You want fake go read something else, I change for nobody

 ~~

I had guilt today, my Daughter went to the Zoo with Nursery

Daddy was to give her a lift, I couldn’t even do that, fuck life

When I am gone I feel this world will be better, I am nobody

I let down my own family, I don’t meant to, they understand

 ~~

Want to talk guilt and sorry, then do it but do it properly

Don’t hide your words behind a fancy poem, just say that shit

The World is full of shit and shit is full on in life, you know this

Fake love, fake friendship, take it, wrap it, stuck it up your ass

 ~~

Poetry or Rap they are both the same, meaningful words

Both do the same they tell a story, it just depends who reads

Some read them good some read them bad, who am I to judge

I judge nobody, I am me and I worry about my shit, you should too

 ~~

When you know yourself you would kill for your own loved ones

You would laugh and spill blood for the love of your own kids

Tearing at flesh for daring to hurt someone you love is real

I have it and hate it, I try to shake that shit, but it’s my shadow

 ~~

The reality is I never changed, I tried to but once you meet him…

A look, a stare a glance a word, it takes fucking very little for me

I will tear you to bits, don’t test me don’t try me, I am just being me

Poem or Rap I love them both, it allows us to say words, just words

 ~~

Living with agony on my shoulder I get angry at it, it’s hard to ignore

I sometimes wish I could see blood from old ‘Friends’ make me feel better

The facts remain people are people, a million people trying to be heard

All writing louder than then next, read me, read me, fucking read me!

 ~~

This is not my game and never was, I write news because I am boring

I have nothing to give and nothing to tell, whoops did I say that out loud

Share I could but I would be in trouble, Mr Plod would surely arrive

But I forget to give a fuck, if you fuck me over I will show you hurt

 ~~

People writing about ‘poor little me’ and some are good but stop

The world writes the same shit, me, me, me, I demand you read me

Well fuck it, I will read you, but don’t get upset if I say your shit

I end my words expecting nothing back, just leave, watch that door

I wouldn’t want the door to hit your ass on the way out

~~

Blogger for Peace.

cropped-b4peace-headerI would like to thank fellow “Blogger for peace”  DAY ONE Barbara @ http://looneyatoms.com/ for bringing this to my attention. I seen on another bloggers page the “Bloggers for peace” badge and stole it, lol. I had NO idea there was a Blog for it here http://everydaygurus.com/2012/12/20/we-can-make-a-difference-right-here-right-now/  from everyday gurus I just thought it was a cool saying. So I am going to join this, and once a month do a blog on the Peace movement. Anyone that knows me, will have picked up, like Barbara did, I am a Blogger for Peace, so I was part of it without knowing I guess.

I would say EVERYONE has a look at this, because one blog at a time, one reply at a time, one song, one saying, just trying, we may get Peace. I won’t give up on it, and I know you won’t either. Anyone that craves War, craves it for financial gain, or is a Soldier who likes War. As a Blogger for Peace, I would say these people are the architects of War, and they must be stopped

I will add the “B4Peace” to my blog here, in a show of solidarity with others who crave peace as I do, I love it, and it speaks to me in a way of Peace

This message is SO SIMPLE. Religion and hate take the message with stupid like

This message is SO SIMPLE. Religion and hate take the message with stupid like “That is Jesus upside down on the cross” They miss the message of “PLEASE! LIVE AND LET LIVE, STOP JUDGING ME” Or whoever feels judged…Why you guys judge? Tell us all, please! lol

This here is in my Blog and has been since the start http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/about/ Under “Why I hope” it says:

We live in an world full of love, but also we are fed violence through the media. A world that is more connected through technology, but less connected than ever as people.

We don’t interact, and the world has become a corporate machine, where money  rules over the heart.

One person at a time, one blog at a time, one conversation at a time, we CAN change our world

Shaun

So all along my ideology of Peace was there, I just didn’t know it. But I will add more.

I think we live in a world where War is for profit and blood flows all over for a small percentage of people can add an extra zero to their bank balance, they make me sick. I did a blog a while back, and the theme was “We don’t want war” http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/03/11/this-picture-speaks-1000-words-kindness-and-hate-war-all-in-one/ This picture below speaks volumes, A man from the USA and a Man from Iran, at the London Olympics sharing a Hug. We the people don’t want war, we want peace, we want to love and share and help where we can, we want to share cultures and be part of each others cultures and give a shit.

Kindness on a GLOBAL scale, we don’t see this much do we?

Kindness on a GLOBAL scale, we don’t see this much do we?

So I throw my hat into the “Blogger for peace” movement and if you give a shit, yes YOU, join in. I am aware any day War could be on my doorstep, and this is the ignorance sometimes, if we can’t see war, we are immune to it so we don’t give a shit. But for the people all over the world in War, at War on in Civil War, we must put ourselves in these people’s shoes to show we give a  damn about them. We must blog and the then blog some more, and then just in-case, blog again against this Global War Machine I hate with every fibre of my being. If you have morals and love and care, then take 20 minutes out of your day and join this “Bloggers for Peace” movement, the more who do it, the more may listen. Never say never. Once I  thought WWIII was a given, it was going to happen, now I am not so sure. We are close. Name a county not in, or at war or in civil war, you will be hard pushed to produce a list with any substance.

So we must all come together, the VAST MAJORITY and say, with one voice “NO” We don’t want to kill each other. And tell this 1% to take their money, run for the hills and let people who will rule FOR US not against us, and allow these people to run a world where hope can be seen, where solidarity can be felt and expressed, where we can say to a fellow human, from anywhere “Are you ok”  I am in, and I will be in harder and harder, as this is a subject close to my heart and my being, this is just my opening blog, expect harder blogs than this to come, I hope I can do “Bloggers for peace” some justice

DO IT!

images

War 

I often show this video, it means more now! 

After seeing all of this, take the 20 minutes, or deny ignorance!