The Human Chaos Theory

The Human Chaos Theory is something I noted last year sometime and today in a rare moment of half clarity I can spend a few hours listening to music while watching both our Worlds go by from my view and add words to a though that we all think. I woke up from a bad dream if I remember or maybe a confusing dream and I left myself a little note called ‘The Human Chaos Theory’. Back then all I could think was the title, this morning on a cold Scottish morning again I woke up after a dream and I now have the words to place here, or least enough words to start, maybe you can add more?. I will try and put my point across as quickly as I can, because I know the human condition, it has little time in its hour of boredom to be awoken, it is self serving, egotistical, wanting for things they already have, we believe money will cure us, when in-fact money harms us, but we also have the capacity for love and a level of caring we claim to behold on each other, yet we lie, I have lied, so have you. Money harms us in our day to day, and it harms our World through many means on a daily basis. We see it on the TV News or any medium of information giving and gathering, we give it a name in a moment, then we want the very thing we see destroying our World, but this is not all about money, it’s about HOW YOU THINK AND WHY

“Shaun, why do think so deeply?” is a question I personally as a human have had to answer too many times to too many people, but today I answer back with love, the ONLY emotion I can bring to any table these days. What makes us unhappy? What makes you unhappy as you read this? What makes you unhappy today, what made you unhappy yesterday and all the yesterdays before it? What will make you unhappy tonight and tomorrow and all the tomorrows to come? That is the question, the only question I can ask. And I again, I ask the World, not just you, no, please! Don’t be so selfish to think this is ABOUT YOU. There is your first lesson on the ‘The Human Chaos Theory’, but please keep in mind, in this moment you might be happy, I am trying to understand what makes me happy and unhappy and I am starting to think in most cases I bring it all onto myself, the same as you do, the same as our species do, but why? We can be happy or sad, yet the emotion I see most is hate and anger in our World, this confuses me and I know I am not alone

I see people as I sit here slowly typing away, I can look out 2 windows, I just seen an old woman from around the corner with walking sticks happily walking her two dogs and I looked up, smiled and gave her a little wave, she smiled and waved back. THAT WAS A HUMAN MOMENT, it was free as it was honest and these are the moments I personally look for every day. I am not the same person as I was last week, never mind 20 years ago or a year ago, but neither are any of us the same person we were in any yesterday we care to look back at.

A old wise man tells me often “Shaun, I cry for humanity” and he does on his level, when I was younger he would say this and I would just take it as a passing comment, today I feel it too, so whoever this old wise man is, thank you from the bottom of my soul for forcing me to look around myself and my own soul. The ability to just sit back with utter clarity of mind and see a butterfly is something money can’t buy you or anyone you know. I wish I could be better enough in my soul to see more of these moments, and I used butterfly as 1 example from an endless list of examples including of course things I will never see or feel, but this should not stop me or you from striving to feel that moment again or try and ask “Can you feel these small moments we often miss because our mind was elsewhere”, if your mind is elsewhere, then ask why? You are in a good place, if you can read this you are one of the lucky ones. I could share hell on Earth with you, but we get scared of it, not till hell or bad comes to our doors do we question the suffering our World places on us all, by each other and by lifes forces, that I don’t think we as a species have figured out, we are a young species, we are growing so fast yet so slowly at the same time, can you see it or feel it? Or don’t you care? Whatever the answer is, that is ok, just don’t harm others in your logical conclusions

We are nasty to each other, I have been nasty to people. We are egotistical against each other’s and the reason I can admit this and say this is I have been ego myself. My God! Writing this blog alone will pull the human ego in and I WILL BE JUDGED. But why? What makes others judge what is not theirs when there is no need to judge? I see people with kids who focus on only their own kids, but I also see people with kids who focus on other people’s kids with many emotions attached. This confuses me a lot. I have two little girls who call me Daddy 100 times a day, you may have people who call you Mum or Dad too or maybe they are too young to name the love they have for you yet? It doesn’t matter however, just accept that love and own it, keep it and call it your own, but please World, don’t deny others this same love or freedom of spirit to evolve forward for a better them, aimed at a better World

Our World is evil, and I don’t add God or the Devil or the bible or scripture written by other humans many hundreds of years ago, but I do 100% respect others who will apply God to this and think of him as I did the butterfly. Am I making any sense to your soul yet? I don’t ask to be named, tagger or labelled, but I will be, but so will you be, you have been and you always will be by our ‘Human Chaos Theory’ that is destructive in our face as we see it on our TVs and Internet. I observe in the same way a comedian does, the same way a musical does, the same as any art form looking for inspiration to write or think freely to imagine a better World with better people. I am no saint, but I am aiming to become one. It took me 43 years of living with Humans to understand, or at least start to understand the flaws and imbalance in our species that loves to place hard emotions on each other but are selfish with our feelings too and deny others the freedom of love. I am a medicated man so what you read here today is from a Disabled person from 2017 trying to figure out a World not of my making, a species not of my doing, emotions thrown at me from birth the same as you, I try to think past them, I think sideways because I refuse to go back or forward, we live RIGHT NOW and nowhere else. Right this moment you are alive! Yesterday is a memory and tomorrow is a wish or a guess, realise it and accept it, and I promise you the fruits of the World can be yours TO SHARE

I KNOW ANGRY, BECAUSE I WAS ANGRY

I KNOW SUFFERING, BECAUSE I HAVE SUFFERED

I KNOW PAIN BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN IN PAIN

I KNOW HATE BECAUSE I HAVE BEEEN HATEFUL

I KNOW MONEY BECAUSE I HAVE HAD NONE

I HATE MONEY BECAUSE I HAVE HAD SOME

I LOVE MY KIDS BECAUSE I KNOW MY PARENTS LOVE

I UNDERSTAND THE DEPTHS OF HELL BECAUSE I HAVE DINED WITH THE DEVIL

I UNDERSTAND GODS LOVE BECAUSE I HAVE DECIDED TO FEEL HIS LOVE

I NEVER ASK GOD FOR ‘ANYTHING’, I THANK GOD, EVERY DAY, HAVE DONE SINCE I WAS A WEE BOY

I SEE A SPECIES SO LOST, BECAUSE I WAS ONCE LOST

I SEE PEOPLE CRAVE THINGS THEY ALREADY HAVE IF THEY JUST LOOK AROUND

I SEE EMPTY PEOPLE READY TO BE FILLED WITH LIFE, BECAUSE I HAVE BE BEEN LIFELESS

I SEE SHALLOW PEOPLE BECAUSE I WAS ONCE AN EMPTY VESEL OF A PERSON

BUT I SEE THE HOPE WE ALL SHARE FOR A BETTER WORLD BECAUSE I HAVE FELT ITS HOPE

I SEE WHAT WE CAN BECOME BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN WHAT WE ARE

I SEE THE BEAUTY IN A PERSON BECAUSE I HAVE FELT UGLY

I HAVE FELT UGLY BECAUSE OF MY BEATY, I HAVE FELT BY BEAUTY BECAUSE I FELT UGLY

I CHOOSE TO TRY BECAUSE I HAVE GIVEN UP, I CHOOSE TO SMILE BECAUSE I HAVE CRIED

I CHOOSE TO BE HUMAN AND CARING, BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN NASTY AND HURT PEOPLE

Now keep repeating these lines over and over, till they stick in your mind for life. Or keep doing as you are doing and hope you get a life you want. Either way you have a choice, you have a final say in this World. Many say “I can’t change the World”, I have said it myself, but I have changed MY WORLD many times, have you? And right there you felt the emotion of ‘boasting’, yet I was not boasting, I was sharing what we all can be. And that is a better human for you, your loves ones and also our fragile Earth. You can add more or you can mock my Worlds, all I know is I am now ready to face what the final chapters of my life have for me, but I have some say in what I will become. I am a very fragile man, but I ask for no help because I have taught myself I can be anyone, be anything. I can lay down and listen to a song and own it as my own, I can watch a movie that moved me and play the part. Why should we all stop doing these things now? It’s all we have ever been doing for the love of God. Unique is my goal, I can’t blend in to my World, but I do blend into The World. I am becoming the best version of Shaun I can be for other people, what about you? Whatever you choose to do, please don’t make others suffer while you do it because this emotion will one day drag you down to levels you have taken others. Choose to lift people up because one day you may need lifted, don’t leave yourself alone as I have. I may be too late to bring people I love back but I am at one with what I done, my door has a bell and you can also knock it, you can call me, you don’t have to be alone, alone is choice sadly. But when we have no choices, how can we choose? It is all hard to take in isnt it? But this is living I am told. So how do you judge your own actions as a person, or do you even judge yourself, the first person we should judge each day is ourselves, yet we throw our own selves away and cast our emotions on others. And that is the ‘The Human Chaos Theory’. THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT IS ALL WE HAVE, lets choose to live today and accept the future as we build it together. Forget Politicians as they lie, Religion is your own call, if your heart has fear who am I to stop you connecting to God in your way? The very things that divide us are there for all to see, but the only thing left that can unite us is below in a song, and to the right hand side of this as you read it, I plant seeds in my own mind before I can even try and help another. Define away, but first define your own. The only emotion used in this 3 hours typing marathon was LOVE. But I ask, what did you feel? Only you can cause chaos and fit another emotion, or just feel love, YOU HAVE THE CHOICE. Start to apply and then you can never again deny

MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

blogger-for-peace-van-2

BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS - THIS REPRESENTS 'BETTER' FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS – THIS REPRESENTS ‘BETTER’ FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

 

A Song To My Family

 

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“Shaun you really don’t care what you say or write” is what I hear often from people, even family. It was my choice to be where I am, it was my choice to live this life as you live yours. Don’t think either of us did wrong, all it was, was life. We become and that is all it is. I can’t connect with some people and others I connect with easy, you saying you find things different? I don’t hate anyone but I do miss many of you. I think back 20/30 years ago and remember we were not ruined by disfunction and issues we played no part in. Some events happened by selfish people and it tore us to bits. Do I hate them? No, I just wish they would try to admit then fix the problems they causes, because make no mistake they made bad decisions. I get so much grief from family but in reality the only things these family see of or from me are on this page. So who am I hurting? The answer is nobody, you decide and define and many are left in the middle. Today I don’t care really but a small part of me wished several events didn’t cause what it did. I am happy and I pray you are too.. And a few friends may be added here. Non medicated and stronger minded Shaun is waking up to the truth, but I have my life my love and all I need right here. So I will live it. Just leave me be, I want no part in your hate any more, I am not above you or below you, but don’t think I have forgotten the actions of many of you for what you did to many of us who you left hurting. I said it, now you can go and hate again and I won’t know because you are cowards. If you think this is aimed at you, it is. If you KNOW this isn’t aimed at you, I love you all the same. Where did life take us? Where did it go oh so wrong?

Wiz Khalifa (feat. Charlie Puth) – See You Again | LYRICS
Via Ibro Brulic on You Tube

MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

We all took our own paths

We all took our own paths

~~~~

ShaunyGibson Twitter: @ShaunyGibson
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ShaunyNews1/

Taboo Series – Suicide

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As part of my ‘Taboo’ series I am going to talk about things in life people don’t want to talk about. Suicide is something that has hit many of us, be it a family member or a friend. I had a VERY close family try it a few years back, the person was ok. They came to my house a few days later, we hugged and cried. I jokingly said “Stay away from medicine cabinet” and we laughed. Maybe this is just the Scottish way, I don’t know, I have never left this Island.

I asked  the person ‘Why’ The reply was not what I expected. They smiled at me and said “It felt right, I felt ok, I felt comforted by something” And that was hard to take. I expected a disturbed warped mind out of control for life. But no, the person never tried it again, for a time we all worried they would but over time we relaxed about it. When I say this person was close, it’s a person I have known from birth who I look to as Super Human, a person you just wouldn’t think would do this. I have lived through several suicides in my 41 years from family and friends and people I knew through people. And the question we have is ‘Why’ I hope the comment the person above gave me gives others peace of mind if they have lost someone to suicide. It seems to always be the people we NEVER would have thought would do this, that do it. The strongest people, the strongest willed people. Ever noticed this?

So how do we spot it? How do we acknowledge a person is suicidal? For me it is near impossible, people in my past and present who have committed suicide or tried were happy, they seemed fine, people always say this. But then we have people in Hospital to stop them taking their own life. People who just don’t see this World as a viable place to be any more. All I know is the hurt it leaves behind lasts a life time, but we get through it, we learn to understand a person’s state of mind. And we can say “They are at peace now” Many in religion will say “They go to hell” Well I don’t believe this at all, there is no proof hell exists, but there is proof love exists.

Many say ‘It’s the cowards way out’ I don’t know if I agree with that saying. Thinking about it must take the strongest will a human being can summoned up to do this deed. They must be so strong to go through with it. I often wonder when people do it is there regret. Maybe it was a cry for help gone wrong, they didn’t want to die, they wanted to tell the World something, their World

I have never tried to commit suicide but I was close twice and been there more times. This was when everything I had was taken from me due to disability, things just kept going, every day, week, year, even now I have lost a person so close to me, I have known since birth. I have lost that person due to MY DISABILITY, MY ISSUES, MY WAYS. I don’t sit and cry about it, see it takes two people to see there is a problem and two people to understand it needs fixed

Suicide is a huge Taboo and I guess it’s best it stays that way. But we all must look closer, we must pay attention more. Teachers in high Schools must help also, they must look. We must look at depressed family and friends and always ask “You ok?” We must also be ready to listen to people. If we stop and ask and that person is allowed to tell a story we may stop that person committing suicide. We all have a part to play in the most taboo subject there is. We must show love, we must care, we must try. But if it happens we can’t live in hurt, the person who left us made the decision, don’t regret for life, we all have reasons to keep living and moving forward. If we allow life to do so it will kick us to the floor and keep us there, so we fight, we stay strong, we at least try and most important WE TALK! Talk to people you KNOW that will listen to you, this is a must

Suicidal thought have left me now, I accepted my new reality, it is so sad many can’t. So please, if you look at someone now, tomorrow, whenever and you think “Could they?” Please talk to that person.

Trust me, you can help so please try.

Shaun x

.Via Dominik Bieda

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