The Broken Family Unit – It’s a Global Selfish Uncaring World!! God is Money!

Lately as I wake up to an uncaring World torn between what they desire and what they think they want, and also the lust for Money everywhere is very hurtful to stand back and watch. I remember when I was a child in the 1980’s, Family was close, if one fell, we all fell, then helped each other back up. Today the ‘Family Unit’ is broken and all I can see is Money and Ego getting in the way. My Father is in his early 70’s and lives on a small Island somewhere; he has Dementia and NOBODY CARES, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT HIM. It seems I am the ONLY person who keeps in touch with my Father, he has NOBODY really, he is alone with his thoughts and I have no idea being 700 miles away and unable to travel to him for ‘Many’ reasons, how bad things are for him, and everyone else is just caring about the people they stayed close too, like siblings, MY OWN, who turned away to the other side of whatever family. Jesus, the more I think about it, can I blame them? Pause for thought Shaun!

Me and my Nana in 1973

I remember when my Dads Mother, my Nana passed away, she died alone and unhappy. Often I think back to her, the top of my Family Tree and cry. I cry because ‘SOMETHING’ made people walk away from her, in the end she died alone and thinking nobody cared. I took ALL the blame because I was a bad kid, but I still tried, as I did along with one Aunt who sadly passed too were the ONLY PEOPLE to try. I visited most nights to make sure my Nana was in bed ok, the gas was turned off and she was safe. This was back in the 1990’s. I remember the wake after the funeral, the guilt I felt was self inflicted. My Aunt who has sadly passed away was there and came to me. She gave me a hug and said “Penny for your thoughts” I then told her what was on my mind, my Aunt cried a little and said words that helped, and I will never forget her for that and many reasons.

Edinburgh, Scotland – My Home

20 years on and my Family on BOTH SIDES is broken, I don’t see my own Sons any-more as ‘THEY DON’T WANT TO GET INVOLVED’ But involved in what? Life? Family? Love? Yeah it’s a confusing emotion. My own Mother is in a bad place and it’s SO HARD as I have NO IDEA how bad things are for her, not a clue, nobody speaks, nobody seems to give 2 fucks any more. It’s all ‘Me, Me, Me’ wherever I go, the IRONY of it all is wherever I go it’s all about ‘SHAUN’, and this is from people I have never seen in 20 years or seen in the passing a few times over the time we had two sons I am so proud off along with their Mother and now 2 little girls that literally keep me alive. But looking back I look back and smile, Edinburgh is my home, I want to leave the mess behind, but Edinburgh taught me all I know. Life just happens but Family from Childhood all moved away from Edinburgh, often I ask myself “IS EDINBURGH SO BAD” I don’t think so, it’s a beautiful place

[MUSIC VIDEO] The Lake Poets ‘EDINBURGH’
Via: The Lake Poets on YouTube

Memories

I see a World so uncaring, so Money oriented, so scared of ‘EMOTION’ it hurts, afraid to ‘Talk deeply’ even one time and move away from it. I have never left my Childhood in the sense I am still living my life around the same people and same area of Edinburgh, Scotland. But the Family unit IS BROKEN wherever I look, anywhere I look, most if not all families just DON’T CARE, and the ones who do care are selective on WHAT SIDE OF FAMILY THEY CARE FOR, sadly many chase the money and side-step people who are ill. It’s horrible to watch. Again I am ‘Irony’ I know it! But like many I get blamed always, so I may as well be irony and just take blame right?

I have two little girls here aged 8 and 7 years old; they are starting to take note of NO FAMILY. They don’t know why, I MUST take some blame as I do have a car but LIFE JUST SAYS I CAN’T DRIVE SOMETIMES. My partner does her VERY BEST to show my Girls life, but it’s ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE to sit with Family in all directions be them blood or not these days. People just hate, fear and loath over money or emotions life somehow forgot to teach a generation of people. Where did we go wrong globally, can you see it, do you even care? I know I do, but it’s like trying to fart against a storm to stop if. Yeah Scottish humor right there, got to keep smiling yeah?

What happened to us?

What happened to us all? What happened to you? What happened to me? What happened to us? Will you read this and ACCEPT BLAME? Because these days all I get from these kinds of people is ‘IT’S NOT MY FAULT’, YEAH! People just TAKE THE BLAME. I am a Grandfather in name only; I don’t see my Grandchildren and I am at the stage of giving up on EVERYONE. HOW FUCKING SAD IS THAT? And THEY will read this and just accept and not try to make up. I get it, sadly I understanding it. The worst decision I ever made was to wake up to this World, it’s IN DIRE TROUBLE

Right now if I could I would sell up, get a passport and take my Girls to Australia where I have some family who still ACTUALLY CARE. Recently I had 2 Cousins who flew from Australia to Scotland to spread ashes for a parent they lost and ONLY around 12 people or so showed up from the Scottish side of my Dads side of the Family, a family that is FUCKED. I am irony because I was not there myself, but I respected them by not going as certain people just want to get drunk and cause FIGHTS because they think ‘Being a Tough Person’ suits their style. I was one from 20 people who stayed away TO RESPECT my Australian family, I am not alone, about 10% of the Family turned up for them, Australia to Scotland and THIS!

[NOW HEAR ME OUT FFS] I was on HEROIN Levels of Drugs till a year or so ago till a voice in my head said “Tell the Dr you want out” and my Dr was amazing and changed medication allowing me to wake up JUST ENOUGH to see two little girls beside me, but also others who just ARE NOT INTERESTED in anyone bar themselves, I respect private people, I must respect hate, anger and fear in others because like you, do we have a choice? My pain is no worse nor no less than yours, my issues one and the same as you who read this. Put aside health and money for a moment and I see it, my friends see it, Family I do speak to feel like I do. It’s hurtful and awful.

I can almost remember this, I was always youngest

But Family members of mine will read this and see HATE, ANGER OR FEAR. The 3 emotions one of my Parents pressed me HARD to lose from my mind over many years. Always one of my parents was telling me “Shaun, hate anger and fear will drag you to the grave”!! So I listened and now all I do is hurt. I woke up to a level of dysfunction so badly I just want to smother the pain in drugs and say ‘Not interested’, this morning I TRIED TO REACH OUT TO A BROTHER AND A SISTER due to a worry I have for one of my Parents and I got NOTHING BUT ‘SHIT THROWN BACK IN MY FACE”, same old bullshit like “Aww Shaun!! People get old and it’s JUST LIFE” << WHAT ON EARTH HAS HAPPENED TO US ALL? I am close enough with many people still who hurt people with lack of caring people and it’s so hard to see. I have my life partner here HURTING daily because of lack of love from her OWN! You can’t deny this if you read, BUT YOU HAVE CHOICE TO FIX IT, and we are here should you decide to ‘GET INVOVLED’ in love of Family

I see 1 option for my Daughters, and it’s a new life, new ways, somewhere where people care. My only doubt and question is “DOES IT EXIST?” I fear it does not. But as long as I have air in my lungs and a mind to try hard, I will protect my Daughter from Hate, Anger and Fear like many friends and family and I who have young kids agree on “WE WILL NOT ALLOW OUR KIDS TO GROW UP AND BECOME SELFISH AND UNCARING PEOPLE” And I refuse to do this with my Daughters, AT ANY COST! Even if it hurts me to walk away totally.

I wish I felt the emotion to this picture….1975 I think

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THIS WORLD? I remember a Family so close on all sides, then I seen Drink and Drugs, abuse, hatred and more and people just slowly did what I IRONICALLY AM SAYING HERE…They just walked away! The old saying of “If you can’t beat them, join them” seems my only option for my Daughters. This rant, as it will be called a rant! if anything, it’s just a confused question of ‘HOW AND WHY’ can I help two little girls see love and happiness? I will do my best to search for answers for MY 2 DAUGHTERS!!! I must therefore be like the rest and turn around, walk away and say “I love you, but I must look after my own”

THE IRONY OF IT ALL IS KILLING ME! I am fucking BADLY disabled, my body lives in pain and my mind is FUCKED. Yet I feel I am the only person looking at our kids, all our kids, globally and thinking “HOW CAN I MAKE IT BETTER” – But then I pause, reflect, and KNOW there are people like me who want to mend the ‘Broken Family Unit’. How we sit back and allow each other to hurt and die alone, how we allow our minds to be turned by actions of perversion be them literal or fiscal is beyond my thoughts.

….I am lost, but I must find a way for 2 little girls. AT ANY AND ALL COST. No longer will I allow myself to be #Anger #Fear or #Hate, I purged my soul of these 3 deadly emotions. Sadly most people I see have not, most have 1 or 2 or all 3 emotions of Anger, fear and hate. Why?

It was ACTUALLY fun before….. lol – That is me crying North-West Scotland as my Sibling laughs 😀 Good times!!

Whoever reads this, and I only get about 300/500 reads per day these days [NOT THAT NUMBERS MATTER, I would rather 50 REAL people read it than 1,000 uncaring people read this, I am asking why has our World walked away from itself and to what? Money the illusion of happiness through the illusion of money?  But then I know people reading this will just point the finger back at me and my kind, and allow the circle of #Anger #Hate and #Fear to be in their very minds and souls, and transmit it to their own. So I MUST protect my girls from these emotions, so they grow to be free from these emotions. IF IT’S MY LAST ACT AS A HUMAN, THEN SO BE IT, I ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE WITH LOVE AND A SMILE.

 

When in Rome……..You know the rest surely! We give up on each other too easily. Why?

#Peace

I miss them all…All I knew!

MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

blogger-for-peace-van-2

BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS - THIS REPRESENTS 'BETTER' FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS – THIS REPRESENTS ‘BETTER’ FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

 

 

Explain what Fibromyalgia brain fog is like for you please

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 Please, tell me what brain fog is like for YOU! 

OK, Many I know have Fibromyalgia and or Chronic Pain Syndrome. Fibro Brain Fog for me is funny, in the middle of a deep meaningful conversation about, say, a family member and all off a sudden my brain can’t connect to a word and I forget everything, thankfully Dawn my partner (If she is there) helps me, I look at her and she says the word and I carry on. When she isn’t there it can be very embarrassing and one of the reasons I don’t visit people as much, although I do try. Even on a phone call or Skype it happens. Many I speak to on here and have been for a year or so (You know who you are 😀 ) I have been speaking to and then “GONE” And I say “Ahhh this frikking brain fog” lol

So please, tell me what brain fog is like for YOU! I will leave some comments below where I asked elsewhere a while back.

Have fun!

  1. I have it…but there are many facets to it.
    My thinking and concentration are not sharp..very dull…to me thats a fog.
    Then theres my vision and what I see around me…its hazey, my vision is blurry…and to me thats a fog.
    But then there is the sensation of not connecting, being slightly light headed, and that is a fog.

    So…id like to know your definition on brain fog please. And if you have any symptoms other than fatigue.
    Mine are fog, anxiety, balance dizziness, irritability, nausea, heat intolerance/inability to sweat, jerking, vision probs, alcohol intol, muscle aches, weakness, numbness, sleep problems, concentration/memory issues, head pressure. Ill stop there….

  2. All big words are on the tip of my tongue. I can’t think clearly, concentrate or make simple decisions. I can’t remember anything. If I’m too foggy and try to read, I get physically ill.

    I take a bunch of supplements for neurotransmitters that really help with the fog. Look at my post “neurotransmitter precursors” from Jan 18 if you’re interested.

    It’s late and I’ve been reading alot today so I’m getting a little foggy now. But in Nov. I could hardly read at all.

    I never did have any vision problems, lucky me.

    best wishes,

    karen

  3. I can’t think of what I’m trying to think of. My mind seems to go in circles and circles. I can’t think of what I’m trying to say and just plain cannot think clearly. This pretty much sums up “brainfog” for me!!!

    Kriket

  4. My most annoying (besides my eyesight) is when I go to do something, walk two feet and can’t remember what it was I was going to do! This happens several times a day! Way too often!

    My vision has got so bad I don’t drive anymore, except in town. My sensory perception on the highway is gone. Those yellow lines….well forget them! Two lanes, nope more like four..on a good day. In town is fine. I live in a small town where there are not any lines on the roads in town.

    I jot myself notes all over the place. One place won’t work because by the time I got to the specific place I would probably forget what it was I was going to make a note of. So I have notes all over! Especially to keep up on all three kids schoolwork and such. Thank goodness our school has all their classes and assignments and grades online so I can keep track their everyday.

    My brain fog! Hope this helps!

    Take care and Kitten Hugs,
    Blessed Be,
    Laurie :)

  5. As an academic (or at least former and potentially future academic), I’ve thought about what’s wrong with my brain a lot since it’s important to me.

    Parts of my cognitive processes work as well as ever. Some even are better. For instance, since I to a large extent I only sit around and think about theories rather than doing anything, my ability to work in theoretical terms undoubtedly is much better than it used to be due to the increased practice.

    My ability to understand people’s thoughts and feelings without much information has gotten much better. My ability to predict the future also has become exceedingly good (in those areas in which I have information obviously). These improvements seem due to slowing down and paying attention, and to allowing my unconscious to do more processing work.

    Really important parts of my cognitive processes are missing though:

    * Stimuli overload. I can’t focus if there’s any noise in the background.

    * Difficulties thinking on my feet. This makes it harder to teach classes.

    * Difficulties in organizing material. I can write small sections of stuff (like posts on this board) well, but fitting it together is a lot more difficult. This has been a problem both with teaching as well as writing papers.

    * Difficulties in concentrating. I fatigue easily. This is more true with orally presented rather than written information. Those Cheney videotapes are really hard for me to get through because it’s an oral presentation. If they were in paper form, I’d have had the material nailed in about 20 minutes, I think. Probably this is related to the stimuli aversion with regard to my auditory senses.

    * Slow movement from one topic to another. If I’m thinking about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I can _only_ think about CFS. Studying or thinking about other more than one thing during the same long time period is extremely different for me. If I were a student taking more than one class at a time, I wouldn’t be able to handle it, I don’t think.

    * Quickly fading interest in topics of intellectual inquiry. I don’t seem to be able to stay with anything long enough to make any progress in terms of doing anything _with_ my thoughts. Once I’ve thought through the material and reached conclusions in my own head, I’m done with it. (This is probably a combination of low stamina with continued fast thought processing.)

    * Initiative. Forcing myself to get started with projects (even one as simple as writing an e-mail or making a phone call) is extremely difficult. This is a combination of my inability to switch tasks easily as well as general fatigue. Major projects (like writing an academic paper) I seem categorically unable to do…..probably because I know I won’t finish them due to the problems above.

    * Problems remembering “what I was about to do” or what I’ve already done. This has gotten far worse since I started the antiviral Famvir though. Other than when the Famvir herxing was _really_ bad have any of my other cognitive processes gotten worse since starting the drug.

    I also have an almost total inability to remember bits of information that are unconnected to other pieces of information. Even two seconds after I’ve read a phone number to myself, I cannot remember the whole thing. Four digits is the maximum. Remembering names is almost impossible. Recalling more than one or two words in a list of unrelated items after focusing on something else is absolutely impossible. (I’m much more able to remember names or lists of words if I see them only in print, but numbers remain a problem regardless if they’re presented in written or oral form.)

    On the other hand, I can remember unlimited amounts of information if it’s connected to something else, especially if I create a theoretical construct about it. In cognitive psychology terms, I have extremely good relational memory and almost no item-specific memory. This always was my tendency, but it’s gotten much worse since getting sick.

    These may seem like minor problems, but they’re major ones for me since they prevent me from getting any real intellectual work completed even when it seems I have energy. The core thought processes are still there (comprehension of written material, logic, ability to bring about varied pieces of information to create an original whole, critical faulties, clarity of written expression, getting quickly to the core of what’s being said, imaginative powers, hypothesis generating). But I seem unable to _do_ anything with those thoughts. This is extremely frustrating and the main reason that I have so much motivation to get wholly well despite the difficulties in handling the antiviral treatment.

    I’m not absolutely sure which of these problems are related to CFS and which are related to the head injury I had at some point before that. I did have cognitive problems just from the head injury, and so perhaps curing the CFS wouldn’t/won’t fix all the cognitive problems.

    On the other hand, the one day I took Provigil, nothing _whatsoever_ seemed wrong with my mind. I got more intellectual work done that day than I had in the previous year. The problem was, after that I crashed in bed for a week.

    I tend to think that some of my problems have to do with the CFS therefore. However, the fact that they were fixed by the Provigil makes me confident that they will be returned to me if I cure the CFS. If I didn’t have CFS, I could use the Provigil on a regular basis. I’m pretty sure the only reason I crashed from it was from the CFS.

    As for the other items on the list:

    Anxiety: This was a problem after my head injury but no longer is at all. Part of this has to do with a treatment that my doctor used to fix it (too complicated to explain here). Part may be that my brain just repaired itself over time.

    Balance dizziness/nausea: This was a problem when a candida infection of the gut grew so bad that it moved into my inner ear. Getting rid of the yeast solved the problem.

    Irritability: Dissipated through the use of the anticonvulsant Lamictal for my manic-depression, progesterone for PMS, and St. Johns Wort

    Heat Intolerance: Not especially

    Inability to Sweat: Oddly, I have started to sweat much more since being on Famvir. This is surprising.

    Jerking: Yes, but only in response to specific stimuli.

    Vision: No.

    Alcohol Intolerance: Only if it is beer (yeast) or wine (mold), due to allergies. I am fine with distilled spirits.

    Muscle aches: No

    Weakness: No, except insofar as lack of exercise due to fatigue has caused it

    Numbness: No

    Sleep Problems: Solved by Klonopin (deeper sleep) and occasional melatonin

    Head Pressure: Only with sinus problems caused by yeast overgrowth

    Fog: Only with yeast overgrowth or when herxing (from yeast or viral killing)

    Word memory: Not a problem except for names

  6. I have so many different symptoms that fall under what I (and many with CFS/FM) refer to as brainfog, I don’t even know where to start!

    Of course, that alone is part of brainfog!

    Right now, I feel that I know what it means, but cannot express it. It is particularly hard to do so on this board as writing on a computer screen (or reading on a screen, for that matter), causes dizzness, nausea, and headache. And that in turn makes the brainfog worse.

    But for brainfog purposes, I can only describe this moment as feeling like my mind is frozen, or blank. Nothing is connecting. I try to think, and the headache only gets worse.

    I’ve been trying to respond to a post of Lisapetrison’s, and could not comprehend even the simplest sentences the other day. I’ve printed it out and am working on a reply on my wordprocessor.

    I was able to reply to one post today only by cutting and pasting some old ones of mine.

    I think most people like me have enough sense not to torture themselves like this and aren’t on this message board.

  7. To me it feels like my head is filled with a cloud, I can not think clearly and sometimes it feels to me that my face is swollen.
    I can not remember anything, my brain feels like a sieve, I can not hold any information. My thought processes are slow, and sometimes I can not think at all.
    Sometimes my brain feels totally blank and I just sit and stare like a zombie, until my husband shouts “snap out of it!”, and even then, I “snap” out of it very slowly.
    It is extremely frustrating! Even as I type this I am trying to explain it better, but I just can’t.

    Phoebe

  8. Your description pretty much sums it all up.

    Kriket

  9. Hi there to all you sufferers out there. For me I get a spacy feeling especially in a store or at a party. I forget in the middle of a sentence what I am talking about. I get so tired and am glad I am retired as I know I no longer work outside the home. Cymbalta has helped me quite a bit but don’t think I take the amount I should. My Doctor wants me to take 60mg a day but I am just been taking 30mg daily. Maybe I will give the 60 Mg a try again. I have a big problem, when I am listening to someone trying to tell me something, the problem is absorbing what they are telling me. Anyway I could go on and on but then I might become boring!!!!
    [This Message was Edited on 01/24/2007]

  10. For me it’s like “dead air” my mind just goes completely blank. Then I get upset because I can’t think of what I was trying to say, or what i was talking about. My family has started to learn to just wait and then remind me of what we were talking about. I also forget where I’m going. It’s happened a couple of times while driving that has scared the dickens out of me. Luckily I didn’t forget how to drive just where I was going. I lose my car and car keys a lot too.

  11. I’m still waiting for my MRI results, but my brain fog is:
    * not being able to think of the right word
    * mind going blank, not sure what I was doing or going to do
    * seeing a written word and thinking I know how to pronounce it but can’t get it out right
    * Replacing the correct word for the incorrect word..for example- told my kids “Good night” instead of “Good Bye” it was daytime and they were leaving for school.

    Someone asked my age and I actually said “63” WHERE DID THAT COME FROM I’m “42”. I caught myself after it was already out of my mouth….how do you expalin that to someone….just have to laugh.

  12. I think I would probably use “blank” or “spacey” like saddlebred and Maggie said. I just kind of have nothing, or nothing important in my head. Sometimes people talk and then I just have to say “what..I didn’t hear anything you just said?” I mean, yes I probably hear it, but I can’t tell you a word I say.

    Sometimes I get mixed up. I can read short amounts of everyday English (I end up on message boards a lot to pass time) but whole pages are hard, and I definitely have trouble with things that are in depth or technical. When I try to read scientific articles for school, I just can’t during a fog because even if I get through, there is little comprehension and zero retention.

    So I take it a lot of you have vision problems…I hadn’t but this past week I’ve worn my glasses about 4 times as much as usual. Ugh.

    Luckily, I don’t drive anyway, but I can’t imagine what it would be like for those of you who do.

  13. this is my brain fog..

    when a person talks to me,i cant understand the meaning in their words.everything seems jumbled up and confusing.when they get to the end of their conversation,i cant remember the begining of it,they wait for me to answer,and i dont know what to say.

    i have to think very hard before i talk to someone,i have to say over and over in my mind first,what i want to come out of my mouth.if i dont concentrate hard,then the words i say dont all fit in place,and people just stare at me,confused.its like my brain isnt working properly.

    i cant see thingys clearly due to blurred vision.im told i dont need glasses though.
    ive had to concentrate more on my hearing to get over roads,as i miss judge the distance of traffic.

    i seem to be having a mental block occuring and all i can say is this…

    if you played a racing car game on a playstaion console.and won the race,then asked to view a replay of that race,and as you are watching it,the game or disc,skips parts of the replay.then thats what happen to me during fibro fog.the seconds in my daily life (my concept of what im seeing move and hearing,skip and dont make sence)

    i see in my vision, floating white circles,and the only thing i can say to discribe them is..

    i watch a ghost hunting programe over here in the uk.what they describe as being orbs,is what i see in my vision.

    i get muscles swelling up behind my eyes and im told they trap my optic nerves.the swelling i feel behind my eyes,is simular to the pain i feel on my brain when the fibro fog is in a flare and im having those comunication problems.

    im very clumbsy, bump into things and when i walk,my body always wants to move to the right,i have to make a consious effort to walk in a straight line.

    when i stop and stand still my body sways and wont stop no matter how hard i try to make it stop.it sways backwards and forwards,and its like in tune with my heartbeat,i know that sounds silly,but thats how it feels.

    i get anxiety very bad somedays,even when nothing has happened to upset me at home.if i hear loud noises,bangs out doors,its like the sound is intesified in my ears,and it makes me on egde,jumpy.i would move to the country if i won the lottery thats for sure.

    i am aware that i am having bouts of hyperactivity in my thinking,( on the none fibro flare days).im making a concious effort to slow down these thoughts,and to slow down my actions,as im having falls outdoors on these days.
    its like my body goes into hyper mode,but my brain cant quite make my limbs move properly,so accidents happen.

    i have found that after having this bout of hyperactivity,a day or so later ,the fibro flare arrives.

    i try to read books and cant retain the words ive just read, in my brain.it spoils my enjoyment of reading now.

    ive started typing out,and printing letters on my pc,as im having major problems using a pen to write letters.i make so many mistakes, that im sick of having to re write letters,so the pc is a godsend.

    theres alot more going on with my brain malfunction but i cant recall just now what they are until they occur.

    i dont remember dreams that i might have had,and find it very hard recollecting things that might have happened yesterday,although i have memories of things from years gone by.(in my teens).

    sadly i dont remember much of my childhood,and i envy my sister who can tell me what i was like as a child,and funny things we might have done together.

    kind regards
    fran

  14. Mild brain fog for me is just slower thought processes, poor memory of things I know that I should know. Inability to concentrate for more than a few minutes, difficulty comprehending instructions, answering questions. I also have difficulty initiating a task but then have difficulty stopping. Multitasking is impossible.

    Severe brain fog is almost a dimming of the world, I can have tunnel vision, or my vision blacks out, can not say words I know, say the wrong word (paper instead of table) forget names of people including those close to me. I have difficulty speaking, can’t finish sentences, forget the question, lose my understanding of the topic of conversation, get “stuck”. I’ve forgotten how to write my name, I’ve stared at the TV remote for several minutes trying to remember how to turn the TV on. Worse, I’ve attempted to operate the TV for several minutes with the ceiling fan remote when they look nothing alike. I also lose track of my hands and feet (have to be told to take both feet out of the car before trying to stand, leave them in awkward positions until they begin to hurt).

    I have severe post exertional malaise, fatigue, tremors on exertion (now controlled with Mirapex), swollen lymph nodes, body aches and pain, frequent headaches, sleep disturbances, palpitations, shortness of breath, heat intolerance, weakness and visual disturbances.

    I would like to add that while not as well educated as some on this board I did earn my B.S. with honors and it is frustrating to realize that I am not nearly as intelligent as I used to be. Since starting Mirapex I am mostly in mild brain fog with moments of almost normal mental processes so I don’t think the damage is permanent yet.

    Shar

  15. I know what you mean about feeling that your not as intelligent as you used to be. Sometimes when try to do schoolwork and can’t, I just can’t help but think that I got stupider than I was. Even though I know it’s not like that, it’s hard not to feel that wasy.

    Yesterday I was looking at my computer so when my boyfriend said something to me, I had to say “huh” and he said “gee you get really into things”. Turns out that he hadn’t realized those “huh” moments were a part of this.

    An example of the mixing things up. I don’t drive normally, thank goodness, but I at my parents farm I was helping move cows through the pasture and every single time I went to move the truck I tried to put it in drive before turning the truck on. Some would say that it was because I’m not used to driving, but I had driven the day before (a good day) and not done that once.

  16. thx all! i too have times when i dont recall words. But…my prob is that i come up with 2 word options in my head and instead of saying one…i mix them together

    Like if i want to tell my son…its time to go to sleep / bed. My mind doesnt choose the word and ill say
    its time to go to sed or something like that.

  17. escape me all the time.. And this morning I didn’t know what day it was.. Had to call a friend to find out.. I get sudden lacks of equilibrium and nausea.. Also sudden sharp pains in my head… Other probs that I can’t seem to remember right now.

  18. FRIED BRAIN. I don’t have it so bad at the moment, but during the first 4 months of my illness it is extremely bad. Poor concentration. Weird head sensations. Can’t keep my eyes open or concentrate very long. Can’t watch television. Can’t read for very long. Can’t drive. Can’t coordinate brain fast enough with my reflexes to drive. Can’t multitask. Thoughts race in my brain.

    Anxiety to the max. Crying jags. (St. John’s Wort helped the depression)

    I like to work sodoku puzzles. My husband, daughter, and I will sit around doing the same puzzle (make copies.) It helps calm down my racing brain.