For us Daddys watching our little girls grow up…..

[Parent thing here] HUGE EVENT happening here [Well it is for me] 😦 One of my two Daughters is having a 1st EVER sleep-ever at a friends house 🙂 One moment we are holding a little baby, before you know it, they are going to stay with friends and we also have two sons who are now Parents themselves, THEY GROW UP TOO QUICK! I demand my Daughters stop growing up 😀 But I am selfish if I do this, lol – And me being the Dad I am, I am all worried and concerned 😀 People mock me for this, but it’s who I am, I fear no person, yet small details can hit my heart so hard. Ever since I was like 8 years old, as long as I can remember I been like this, always HATE saying goodbye to people I love, is it a flaw? is it a bad thing? or is it just love? And why is ‘Love’ so Taboo? I think I know what it is, you will feel like all as you do. She stayed with Family many times, but this is her first sleep-over with friends. Some poor woman has about 8 kids sleeping over, all from the same class-room 😀 Good luck to her I say. So she about to go for the night, I can see the house she is going to stay the night in, from my house, ish. Yet still I am getting all upset and worried. But hiding it well for her. She is a wee bag of emotions too. Totally nothing to worry about, let alone write about it on Social Media. But I don’t wear my ‘Heart on my sleeve’. I wear my everything for all to see on my sleeve. I hide NO EMOTIONS, I never have been able to, so I stopped. What I will say is. What would people rather? [A] A big angry bastard of a man/woman, or [B] A man/woman who cares? All parents and all men and woman, what emotion could you live with, what emotions do you hold true to you. WHEN WE THINK “WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK’, WE ARE NOT OURSELVES, no! we are becoming what society EXPECTS from us. I say feck Society. I got a heart and I use it best I can. I love my Daughters more than a word can explain, and the small things hurt so hard. Crazy thing right? lol – The thing I think people close or near me can’t understand about me is, on 1 side, in the right moment, a bad moment, I will protect what is mine, who I love, with MY LIFE, I am scared of nobody and nothing. Yet flip that old coin over, and like most, if not all parents with kids, be them young or old, WE NEVER LOSE THAT PROTECTIVE FEELING. When they are not in our sight we all act and feel different. If I am anything, I am just frickin real, lol – So tell me Friends. How are people like me judged? I am interested 😀

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Tim Mcgraw – My little Girl

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MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

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BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS - THIS REPRESENTS 'BETTER' FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS – THIS REPRESENTS ‘BETTER’ FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

 

Humans Releasing Every Emotion They Have! Why can’t we all?

PERMITTED USE: This image may be downloaded or is otherwise provided at no charge for one-time use for coverage or promotion of National Geographic Your Shot and exclusively in conjunction thereof.  No copying, distribution or archiving permitted.  Sublicensing, sale or resale is prohibited.REQUIRED CREDIT AND CAPTION: All image uses must be properly credited to the relevant photographer, as shown in this metadata, and must be accompanied by a caption, which makes reference to National Geographic Your Shot.  Any uses in which the image appears without proper photographer credit and a caption referencing National Geographic Your Shot are subject to paid licensing. I composed and shot this during early morning hours , few days prior to this couples wedding .

I have shared this video and it’s lyrics and meaning many times in the last month but I want to see how many people are like me, now I know many are but I would appreciate, even if in private messaging, let me know what you thought of what I am about to write. I had no intention of writing this it’s just words flowing as I listen to Eminem of all people 😀 You will see the funny side of this near the end. I am the kind of person that when I find a new movie, song or comedian I am all over them till I hate them. This song I first heard a month ago, it blew me away, just utterly jaw dropping. Now I will keep this short and to the point. OK, We as humans hide, we don’t fully remove ourselves from some invisible force of nature that stops us doing what very few in our World can do. Below are four video’s, same songs, one live the other the video with it’s very powerful meaning. What I want to focus on here is the live performance by A Great Big World with Christina Aguilera ans also Sam Smith where we see three people who are living their dreams. They are able to open up 100% and show a kind of emotion that scares people. I embrace this feeling always, I always have and today I embrace it more. The power of what we can do as people is both amazing yet so sad.

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These two videos below by Sam Smith are just incredible, as I said before I hadn’t hard of this kid till my Mum asked me to buy her the CD, he is a year’s work, as in a year ago he was nobody, his voice is making him something and his expression is to be admired because it is true and honest, he writes his own songs through his life, he has life moments, writes them, then shares them with us, he shares his life with the world through words made into music, I ask what is the difference between him and a blogger? if there is meaning of course, and this is true and the same as any and all forms of art. They are able to just open up and express and show feelings so raw you can almost feel them. I am beginning to understand the World slowly these days. Sure I do step away from the internet and pay bills and do life the same as anyone, but while the amazing medium of the internet is here for us all to express I figure “Why not” – Now some write, some write sport, others poems, some act, they become another person and we see it and we love it but think about it, this actor or singer have taken themselves away from any bad or false emotion and showed the full true human spirit be it in song or acting the part of someone. Example was the performance of David Oyelowo in Selma the movie where he played Dr Martin Luther King 50 years ago in the race struggles that still embellish the USA today, for me he deserved the Oscar for his performance! The song I will share also, why not! lol This is American struggles, again it’s expression. This is a live Oscars song about the movie Selma, then Oscar acceptance speech from Common and John Legend, this is expression of love, peace, harmony at all needed in our World in any malevolent cause

Common & John Legend Sing Selma & Acceptance Speech Oscar 2015
Via producertony2001 on You Tube

check the 1st song, come on, what you got to lose. You can go be ‘Society later, but for now try and express, release and just be, try it, if you are alone, what do you lose by releasing? Sure you may cry but I cry a lot 😀 Yup! Shaun Gibson cries 😀 Now I would beat any man to death for wronging a loved one of mine or I myself but being able to become the total opposite is something life is teaching me every day these days and it’s amazing, so please, try it? You may smile at the end of it and go and live your dream or go do whatever it is you need to do. I am about to scare myself in some new venture but I am readying myself first. It will be staggering but I am nearly ready, but forget me, check >

Sam Smith – I’m Not The Only One (Live) (Honda Stage at the iHeartRadio Theater)
Via SamSmithWorldVEVO on You Tube

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~~Same Song as above ~~ The Official full length video~~
Via SamSmithWorldVEVO on You Tube

The only downside with this is we must always turn the coin around. It is so sad to see people hiding, unable to expose even 1% of themselves to the World in fear another calls them on it. What I mean they live a life where, what others think of them reflects their life, they change to suit others Why would people do this? 😦 See I smiled and showed unhappy there at the same time because it is funny in a way but when you strip it back it is sadly people trapped by life. Life has them is beating them them on the ground and the person has no strength or will to stand up and fight back. I simply ask “Why is this so?” As I become part of the Human race after all these years on prescribed heroin I see it more and more with each passing moment, never mind day. I found a partner who is like me, my partner is so much fun, easy to talk too, just an amazing friend whom I happen to have 4 kids with and have been with since we were both 12 and 14 I think. 😀 Life is good right?

life-quote

So performance is often called ‘Acting” Often when we stand before the act our minds are blown to bits and our heart exposed for a brief moment, some escape this emotion, some drag it to them because the emotion is so strong. But we also have people who are just different, they don’t look at the World the same as the performer, singer, actor, poet, painter or art to writer or blogger, they don’t want to know it but still live good fun happy lives. So we have many types of people, people are just people right? Remember I did blog it, called  People are ‘Strange – Shaun and 2 old ladies ‘The Story <Click) I was in bed laughing about it, I have been caught a few times in the car alone laughing about it 😀 Me and my Dad speak 3/4/5 times a week, sometimes 5 minutes often 5 hours, and we are like this, we both laugh alone at things that happened before. We are idiots but we are very comfy being idiots 😀 So we have ALL kinds of people. Yet we judge, we accuse, we presume, we guess, we tolerate and we become ‘Society. Well the people I hang with, people who work, don’t work, own a business or are in some group, doesn’t matter, people are people, some get each other always. Any kind of person we meet be them nice or nasty will have friends no matter, people are people, please do read that ‘Old Lady story above 😀 But truly, the people I know daily in my life are just ‘Nice people, simple, nothing amazing, just amazing friends. One of my best mates has moved around the corner from me, he was the left side of my brain when I did football for 15 years, we are mates through moments, sad and happy moments, in and away from football and into life, I am happy he is here now, he is an ex Grade 2 referee, 55? year old? LOL I am dead if he reads this and I am wrong, he is just a brilliant mate now a cup of tea and 30 seconds drive away from Dawn and I, my own son’s respect the lad, so people, as I say, are people

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So to sum up. Why is it some of us can think so deeply and so passionately yet we have others who cast stones at people for just being happy or being themselves. I said this before and it is getting boring but a person who should know better, who should not be saying what they do to me, no person in that position can ever say what was said. Look it is what it is and I say it for the last time to make my point or to help myself understand the point. People can write a song, go test it then go perform it to 20,000 live and express fully like these 2 below. Yet others dismiss this feeling. I think I started this blog to ask a question and by writing I actually got the answer. That is the beauty of expression though, we change and see things and every moment stands alone, if good we keep if not we let go or try. Life is so easy, some can express, what stops? say me? Going on the X-Factor? What is stopping you from going to drama school, what stops you going to learn something at college as an adult? What is stopping you from living, what is stopping you from smiling, what is stopping you from expressing? What is this fear? I don’t want to feel this life fear, I never will, even on my death bed I know I won’t, but  where does it come from? A person was correct a while back when they said to me “When 2 words will do the job, you use 200” and here I am. So, all that aside, enjoy watching humans just let go. What stops us living these dreams we desire? We must learn this in ourselves. I don’t want fame nor money but when I say “I want to change the World” People laugh. But what I mean is “I want to change my World” So I say, whenever you are asked “Do you want to change the World” answer with “Yeah, my own World” Because this is the only way we will change this crooked World and start to express without feeling judged

A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera – LIVE – A Powerful Rendition of “Say Something” at AMA 2013
Via Rex Ho on You Tube

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~~Same song as above ~~ Official Video ~~
Via: AGreatBigWorldVEVO on You Tube ~~

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Letting Go – Poem

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Started young, I was a father, I was a Kid

I couldn’t be a father, I was still a kid at 21

One 2 the other 1, I had to wake up, I did

I did my best, did the football coaching, became Dad

 ~~~

Now here I am a better man, struggling to breath

Two new girls came along and suffocated me with love

So I have to cut loose. I love always, but you learn now

I will always have your back, your time to fly, go fly

~~~ 

It hurts me to say this, to write this, but I must

Till the day you understand who WE are,  I must

Always I look to you, looking for signs, never they come

So I step away, watching always, but I have to look elsewhere

 ~~~

I write elsewhere, but I have 5 sets of eyes now, always

I have to prioritise where my eyes look, they must look past

Past you, and onto them. Another eye is always, my love not yours

There are no rules for this, no book no guidance, we tried

~~~ 

My only guidance are the eyes looking at me, always

I learn from the eyes watching me, to help you

But until you see this I must let you see the World

Open your eyes, understand the World, understand US

 ~~~

Your back is always in my mind, in my line of sight

This will be the case till the day I die, it is my job

What is your Job? This is your quest now, I have to look away

So we will speak soon, until I know you understand this

I have to set my eyes on things closer to me

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x

My Daughter Starts School Tomorrow. An Honor in Bringing Kids up

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12345My little princess’s growing up and Daddy isn’t liking it. In a Country where showing or speaking of these feelings, being a man, can be tricky as people mock you 😀 I am different, I pride myself on not being “Normal” I decided a LONG time ago I was going to live my life the way I wanted and not how Society says we must. I was a Dad very young to two amazing young men (20/22 now they are), I was 17 then 19 a kid myself! My partner and I decided 7 years ago now to try for a kid. We went through some hurtful moments, but we got there. I watched as my Partner started to show signs a small person was inside her. I would lay and talk to her tummy and I think when the girls were born they knew my voice. The amazing (Probably not for a woman at times) time of being there to see your kid born is such an amazing thing. A little person appears, a little girl, Courtney we called her, and she changed our lives for the better. 18 Months later her little sister was Born, Chloe. Deep down I wanted a little girl, when my oldest Daughter was born it was utter joy, tears, hard tears of love and joy

Now 7 years on my oldest Daughter starts School tomorrow. We have got all her clothing and Schoolbag, lunchbox, pencil case, you name it, it’s there. Both my Partner and my own parents have been amazing in helping buy things. A team effort it was, lol. Tomorrow I don’t think I will cry, I will be proud though. Chloe starts 2nd year Nursery/Pre-School, Courtney goes to REAL School. Before Courtney went to bed we had a little chat on our own, a proper chat with this little bundle of emotions and love. She asked me “Daddy, is School fun” I said “Honey, school is amazing” She gave me a hug, a kiss “I love you lots Daddy” then went to back to bed. My heart broke. Not for bad reasons, but for a mixture of reasons. To have the privilege of having two baby girls and watch them grow up to be Sisters, friends, enemies, all love has been so far indescribable, I honestly can’t find a Word, it’s a feeling stronger than love and I don’t think there is a word for this feeling.

The pleasure and joy of watching two babies grow to throw pieces of Jigsaw at each other, cuddle and make up, play together, watch TV together, sit at a PC or Laptop together, watch silhouette-family-with-eclipse (1)them having fun out the back garden, has been a trip, a good one. Daddy want’s time to slow down. But we can’t be selfish, we must let go. With my two Sons, they are both at home “Just” There is talk of them moving out, and I am thinking “Spare room for an office, YES!” I am of course half joking. They are two gentlemen, We taught them life the best we could and still do, you never stop being a parent, my Mum told me that once. They are soon to fly the nest, I will cry but I know they are ready to take on the World.  The moments I had with my sons when they were little boys then teenagers was brilliant, all we did was Football. When I was manager, they were there supporting, when one was playing we were all, my Partner included, there to watch.

Now it’s time to do it all over again, teach 2 little bags of emotion and love how the World works. As parents do we give advice when we know they need it. There is no book on parenting and if someone wrote it, it would be useless. You parent with love but also instinct, you do it with unconditional love, to see that love given back, or to feel that love given back 4 times makes it all worthwhile.

So tomorrow another chapter of our lives takes another direction. We are ready for it, we will enjoy it and hold every moment as long as we can. Life is so fragile, we sadly have seen it the last few days with the death of Robin Williams and all the death and murder add genocide, we understand we MUST live in moments. We let yesterday go but never forget and we plant seeds for tomorrow, and in THIS moment we are smiling and happy, then life is amazing. I suffer badly with pain every day but all I have written has helped. A disability can easily destroy a relationship and the dynamics of a house. I have known my Partner since I was 12, we were best friends then we are best friends now. I hate sometimes when the pain is so hard to take I vent, but everyone in my home understands it’s not at them, I never do in-front of the girls, I just can’t, wouldn’t, would be unable to, even if I needed to. My oldest Courtney has picked up Daddy is 100% healthy and hurts, I tell her “Daddy has a sore knee from playing football” She is noticing things. For now, that is the story, she and her sister Chloe will know when the time is right, But in the meantime I will pray the Fibro will leave my body. I want to be as healthy looking as I can when I am out with them and take them to the school grounds, so I demand it of myself to take the pain, nothing is impossible if our heart truly desires it be

 

TO ANY PARENT, DO YOU FEEL AS I DO, OR AM I ALONE? I WOULD LOVE PEOPLE TO TELL ME x

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If you are happy today, EVERY mistake you ever made was worth it

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The title of this blog is fairly easy to grasp I hope, and kind of says what it does on the tin.

I know many people, as do you who have had a terrible life, or a terrible past, or have had things done to them as young people, or been through traumatic events in their live

I can only speak for myself, but I have had the above happen to me. And I guess many reading have also had hardship in the past.

But please, ask yourself this question “Am I happy right now”

If the answer is “Yes” then every bad moment or mistake, horrific piece of news, bad experience was worth going through. Because what came before in our lives made us who we are today, I see so many people living in the past, remembering any of the events I am painting a picture about and they hold onto these bad memories and it stops them living today

Let them go. Have a look around, look what you have NOW, I am guessing many are now thinking “Well I guess I am happy in my life” If so, then why do people live in the past? We get one shot at life, and it is short, shorter for some. I live for today, this moment right now and the hope of tomorrow and what it may bring.

If I lived in my past, and stayed there, I would have issues, bad issues. I would like to thank another blogger for making this blog possible; something I read inspired this blog.  Many live in the past. And again, if you are REALLY happy today, realise all that happened in the past moulded you into the person you are today

I know not everyone can be happy, and others will have  reasons they can’t be 100% happy, but really, how many people reading this can honestly put their hands in the air and say “Yeah, this is correct” I bet a few?

Live for today, remember yesterday for a moment, really remember the good memories, look forward to what tomorrow may bring, but don’t live your life unhappy because of something  you have been through in the past. It is gone. I know a man; he has all the money in the world, enough to make King Solomon blush! And he is very unhappy. He has it all, but he lives remembering a hard time he had in his life 20 years ago

Not everyone will get this blog, not everyone will understand this blog, not everyone will agree with this blog, but this is just my thinking. I lived in the past once, and I hate myself for wasted years. I live for today, I live for right now

Try it, see what happens. The horrible things happened to make us stronger, I believe this to be

There is saying in Scotland “You have to be pulled through the shit to see the roses” I hope this makes sense to people

The beatles sang it well, Yesterday, we all love the beatles, many will take different things from this song, for me, it reminds me why I don’t live for yesterday

Shaun 

 

Being a parent – Letting go

Letting-GoAs a parents we sit and watch as our kids are born, we watch them grow from baby to toddler to child to kid to teenager then they get older

My older son is 21 and I am HEARTBROKEN as he is probably going to fly the nest. We get on real well. But sometimes I can be a bit of a pain in the backside to him. He argues back, and “Bang” Argument. Always we speak about it later and I tell him “I just want to you to be a better man than me” And you know, he is already, he cares, he cries at sad films, he is in love with his partner and is a great big brother to his two little sisters and his little brother

When I was his age, he was 3 years old, I made every mistake a man could make, but I pride myself when I look at my sons and think “We did ok” As it takes his Mum also.

We do Dad/Son things, or as much as we can. Because of my disability he looks after me well, he makes sure I am ok. He is a brilliant Human being, and a lad I am proud to say “He is my son”

He pays his Mum money every week, dig money, his keep, and he never fails. He knows and understands the importance of money, and this is where I am still trying to father him. I remind him often, his Granddad, my Dad, still fathers me. When I need guidance, my Dad is my first port of call

I am aware some have lost kids, some send kids away to war, some don’t have this, but this is my story. And as I write this is I am in tears. We had a slight argument before he went to work. He is doing 70 hours in 5 days, that will earn him £700 (Over $1,000) and he did his 1st night last night, woke up in a mood, and the argument developed from there. Leaving him and me in tears. He left the house in tears; I have been in tears of guilt since. There are no books on being a parent, this is the first time I have been a parent to a 21 year old boy. We learn as we go as parents. And from our parents I guess

My son is 21, and he suffers seizures, he has had 5 in 4 years, and he takes epilem for it, a medication that seems to be working, so that is always in the back of my mind. He had a horrendous seizure in-front of me once and to say I thought he was gone would be a lie, he was, but he came back to us. Then I stood at his hospital bed as they operated on him and my job, sorry, DUTY, was to keep him awake and keep telling him the pain would go away, and it did after the operation. His shoulder popped out during the seizure, and they couldn’t send him to sleep to fix it, they just put it back in, that was a hard night

So here I am crying like a child, over my boy. I don’t care who reads, or judges, I want the world to know I love this lad with every fibre of my being. Love your kids is an unconditional love. We thought we had lost him once and this prays on my mind like you wouldn’t know

Son, if you read this, know I care, know love isn’t a strong enough word for how I feel, and realise that when I am being your Dad, I do that so you keep being the Man you are turning into. You are a credit to yourself. There have been other hurdles I can’t type here you have gone through in your young 21 years with us, and you will get over this one. You know what I mean.

I feel guilt right now. I should not but I do, he is upset, so am I, but we all live and learn, I say it often, show me perfect, I show you a liar

Love is a great thing, but when it hurts, it hurts badly. He is ok, he is still here. But he is like his Dad, he is emotional, and how he handles things inspires me. He is every bit the man his little brother will be.

I am so upset right now. I am an emotional guy, I cry when I have to. Hurt my family and I will show you wrath. I shouldn’t say that, I know. And I am sorry for saying it. But I am just “In this moment” We are defined in life by moments. And being upset is one of them. Showing love is another. At the back of my mind, when he is out, and the phone rings, I get this dread. But I know a friends who’s son is serving with the Army. I wonder how he feels.

We do our best as parents, and the end result, when they are adults is what we did, or what we did not do as parents that defines them mostly, not all the time. I only hope I am a good Dad to a kid I love so dearly, I can’t and never would stand in his way should he want to go with his Partner who I love also and make a life. That is the way of things, its called, letting go

Father and Son song

Because what my son has been through. This is MY SONG for him below. x He inspires me with the way he just smiles and goes on

Shaun