WHY IT MAY BE GOOD TO TALK TO YOURSELF!

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The Human mind is TRULY an amazing, yet confusing thing. I am trying to figure it out. I am now asking how many famous people went crazy trying you understand who they, others, our brains act in the way they do. Right now I am JUST SO BORED. Boredom to me is never a good think having 4 Disabilities, M.E. (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) + Fibromyalgia + PTSD and Psychosis as they can take over. A small action usually is the trigger for me, big things I can usually just walk past or over, the smallest of things can get me over-thinking and it’s not always a good thing. Right now I am going for ‘Funny’, but I can’t be sure this will be funny 😀 If anything, our brains are good fun, I mean if we all were serious and angry in our thinking, it would rip us to pieces, trust me, I been there, I still might be there 😀 All I go do is live in moments (I think). I may look at this tomorrow and think “Oh Shaun, Why”, because often I do. But let’s get real here, who do I harm? Answer! NOBODY 😀 Cheer up World.. TRUST ME, IT COULD BE OH, SO WORSE. Maybe……….. lol. Anyway, a stupid thought created this copy and paste below. Enjoy…..

Via: http://spiritualityhealth.com/

  1. Give yourself a shoutout. Even if no one else seems to be appreciating you at the moment, compliment yourself on the way you handled a difficult situation, left your comfort zone for a new adventure, or just got through a busy day.
  2. Give yourself a pep talk. We could all use a motivational speaker from time to time, but we don’t always have one handy. Self-talk can help you motivate yourself to achieve a goal at work, in a relationship, or in your personal behavior.
  3. Debate both sides of a difficult decision. Saying your options out loud and elaborating on the pros and cons can help bring the right choice to light, and you might be surprised at the unexpected direction your thoughts take when they’re audible.
  4. Blow off steam. If you’re not the type to confront people who tick you off, talk to yourself about how they bother you or how unfair a situation is. Introverts are especially prone to missing opportunities to assert themselves. Put the “self” back in self-assertion.
  5. Understand your thoughts better. Sometimes we’re sure we think one way, but our psyche tells us differently. Have you ever found yourself crying when you didn’t think anything was wrong? That’s your subconscious letting you know. Invite it to join your conversation to bring you to new levels of self-awareness.
  6. Rehearse a difficult conversation. Practicing what you need to say to get your points across clearly and without anger will put you in a much better position when it comes time to communicate about a tough issue.
  7. Boost your memory. Research shows that saying the location out loud when you place an object will help you remember where you put it.
  8. Shake off stress and anxiety. Who couldn’t use one more way to get rid of stress? Work it through with a monologue.
  9. Improve attention span and concentration. Indeed, many people with ADD talk to themselves to help bring a tangle of thoughts into focus. Notice how often you see athletes muttering under their breath before an event; they’re calming themselves down (#8) and pumping themselves up (#2). It works.
  10. Improve attention span and concentration. Indeed, many people with ADD talk to themselves to help bring a tangle of thoughts into focus. Notice how often you see athletes muttering under their breath before an event; they’re calming themselves down (#8) and pumping themselves up (#2). It works.Leaving my husband and daughter at home, I took a 2-mile walk, stretching my legs and my mind as I chattered to myself about my blessings, complaints, and confusions. I didn’t solve everything that had been bothering me, but I did lift some weight from my shoulders by listening to the sound of my own voice as it brought forth some notions I hadn’t been aware of.

    So whenever you see people talking to themselves, remember that it’s a sign of sanity, not insanity. It makes us wiser, calmer, and more motivated. What are you waiting for? I can’t hear you.

~~~~~

MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

blogger-for-peace-van-2

BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS - THIS REPRESENTS 'BETTER' FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS – THIS REPRESENTS ‘BETTER’ FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

 

Angels On My Side

My 2 Daughters are making me live again

My 2 Daughters are making me live again

I am not re-blogging again, more just a ‘Hey, how are you doing’ – I am done with my Gym work as it just got too hard, but the weight is gone. I sleep most of the day these days, but I am daring to show the World that ”Disabled People’ or any people cannot just dream, they can act, they can do, become, create and make moments others can feel also. I am about to ROAR again as losing my voice, or ability to be a ‘Team Player’ in life shattered my soul. I have 3 offers from Publishers to tell my story, my life story. I said ‘Yeah’ on 1 condition, that any money I make is placed into a pot where it can help people who are needing help, that is a promise I make, life is not about me, News isn’t even what I want to write anymore, I want to create and live in moments where smiling is what I do even when I am in agony in bed. I always have only ever had 2 choices, live or die, I am going to live. But my quest now is to change this image here that DOES NOT REPRESENT all disabled people. For me personally, well I will not be judged by one more person, the next person to judge me by the 1st image below will be told to go forth and multiply!! I mean this, no hate, no anger, just LETS CHANGE THIS SIGN so people can be respected and allowed to be part of a World that looks and see’s no wheelchair. This is my goal now. I was signed off by the Government in 1999 against my wishes and it nearly got nasty and hard with court cases, in the end I took the easy option of money and free drugs from the Government, that was my choice, but the pain was bad and I was young. Now older the reason for being signed off Work are no longer applicable, I was signed off for LIFE, DUE TO A BAD KNEE!!! Today I have Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pain, M.E and another stupid brain condition; I flat out am refusing to be judged BADLY by anyone today. These things restrict my body and mind, but I live in agony, so how much more pain can I give myself today with a clearer mind? I am going to tell myself to ‘Keep on Keeping on’ because ‘Everything will be alright’ and ‘I have angels on my side’ – Please check the amazing song below!!

 

2000px-Handicapped_Accessible_sign.svg

THIS IMAGE ABOVE DOES NOT REPRESENT A DISABILITY

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS - THIS REPRESENTS 'BETTER' FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS – THIS REPRESENTS ‘BETTER’ FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

~~

Rick Astley – Angels On My Side
Via RickAstleyVEVO on You Tube

~~LYRICS TO ABOVE SONG~~

“Angels On My Side”

Sometimes I just don’t feel like waking up
wanna stay inside my dreams
sometimes I feel like I am breaking up
do you know just how that feels

Hope is for the hopeful
it’s a dream that never dies
faith is for the faithful
I see it in your eyes

And I got angels on my side
I got angels flying high
and everything gon’ be alright
’cause I got angels on my side

I need the people that I really love
to only give me truth
don’t fake it, I can’t take it
my heart is close to breaking
it reminds me of my youth

Hope is for the hopeful
it’s a dream that never fades
faith is for the faithful
And I will not be swayed

‘Cause I got angels on my side
I got angels flying high
and everything gon’ be alright
’cause I got angels on my side

Everything gon’ be alright,
everything gon’ be alright,
everything gon’ be alright,
everything gon’ be alright

Everything gon’ be alright,
’cause I got angels on my side.
Oh, yeah.

Can you see them?
Can you see them?

I got angels on my side
angels flying high
and everything gon’ be alright,
’cause I got angels on my side.

I got angels, you got angels,
everybody got their angels on their side,
everything’s gonna be alright
You got angels, I got angels
everybody got their angels by their side,
it’s alright, it’s alright.
I got angels, you got angels,
everybody got an angel by their side,
we got angels on my side.
I got angels, you got angels,
everybody got their angels by their side,
oh, yeah.

~~~

MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

Shauny

♪ This Corner ♪

Denaun – This Corner
Via MilesV117 on You Tube

LYRICS

[Intro]
Hey look let me tell y’all somethin’ alright? What I do, I do. Straight like that. So ain’t no sense in y’all troublin’ yourselves over that, cause man the way I feel right now today

[Verse 1]
I came up on the wrong side of the fence
I gave my family pain and strife and asked them all for strength
But hell in my defense
And I got too much way too fast
My mama told me it won’t last
Now I’m back down on the bottom
Wishin’ that I took another path
I should’ve listened, but my mind was gone
My temper too quick so when my fuse get lit
So when it’s on, it’s on
Yeah, everybody wrong
Yeah, and I’m always right
Yeah, ain’t nobody to blame now
It’s me vs. me, man, this my fight

[Hook]
So don’t look at me like I am the same person I was before
We all deserve a second chance and this time I think I can do more
I’m better

[Post-Hook]
Yeah I put that on my family, all you gotta do is give me the chance
And I can show you that I’m worthy of the trust that you require
Put it all on my shoulders, I’m a fighter, I won’t get tired
When I’m back up in this corner, back up in this corner, tryna get out
Back up in this corner, back up in this corner, gotta get out

[Verse 2]
You think I got none but I got all kind of sense
Stop judgin’ my book by the cover
Maybe you should do a little reconnaissance
I ain’t tryna vent, this ain’t woe is me
It’s nothing owed to me
Get the swan song, I don’t need an ode to me
Shit hopefully holdin’ this rosary’ll keep me out of close calls with the O police
I said I’m tryna be a whole new me
I ain’t tryna do the same old thing
I’m tryna prove to my family that I will not bring
No more trouble around, I ain’t gotta do nothing
But stay out of shit, I ain’t gotta be up in the chaotic
Prolly cause it’s my redemption that I’m entrenched in
And I won’t let anybody deny my vision, it’s my decision
But y’all ain’t listenin’

[Hook]
So don’t look at me like I am the same person I was before
We all deserve a second chance and this time I think I can do more
I’m better

[Post-Hook]
Yeah I put that on my family, all you gotta do is give me the chance
And I can show you that I’m worthy of the trust that you require
Put it all on my shoulders, I’m a fighter, I won’t get tired
When I’m back up in this corner, back up in this corner, tryna get out
Back up in this corner, back up in this corner, gotta get out

[Verse 3]
It’s my gameplan now
To get in this ring and show that I’m a changed man and how
I won’t blow another chance to make you proud
Even though you got the right to hate me now
I know you lost your hope in me
But hopefully I can restore it back where it’s supposed to be
I just want my daughter back, this fight means much more than that
I’m tryna think before I react, I ain’t get the message at first
I tried to ignore the facts
But I’m much older, she’s my soldier, I told you I’d go to war for that
I said your boy is the truth and it’s no lie in him
All he needs is his family with him
Y’all want him ’til it’s no room given
I’ma hit him ’til the ref come and get him

[Hook]
So don’t look at me like I am the same person I was before
We all deserve a second chance and this time I think I can do more
I’m better

~~~


♪ WOULD YOU ALMOST KILL YOURSELF TO STAY ALIVE?♫

It's a fake gun, relax

It’s a fake gun, relax. It’s the eyes I am going for

Above my blog are 3 pages, one is Living with CPS/Fibro and M.E. – 3 Disabilities I hope I can help others, that is all. When we have to put ourselves in a bubble and ignore almost everyone, it’s for good reason usually. Sadly others see it different, because some STILL want to name me and put a name on me as well as define me, this is the only way I can try and speak back. I can’t do ‘Going out’ much these days. I am making myself a monster so I can get into THAT ROOM, the room in the 3 links below. I just spent another hard morning doing Boxing work with a hairline fracture on my right ankle and damage to my left hand. Always I look to be inspired by things be them images or music, these are the only two things boxing will help you with. A famous fighter once said “Boxing is the Loneliest training or sport on Earth” I have that on my wall with other images to help me, and boy was he correct. I was a boxer as a kid, not allowed to fight by my Dad who maybe didn’t want me to go that road? I have no idea, he said “You can’t protect yourself” and I thought I did, this was 30 years ago now, so we laugh about it today my Dad and I as he calls me asking how I am doing with this fight for lifequote-Frank-Bruno-boxing-is-the-toughest-and-loneliest-sport-82019

The video below sadly I couldn’t find the lyrics video for so hit play on the video then scroll down to the lyrics. Who can identify with these lyrics? I can for sure, they make utter sense. Today I went into THAT ROOM for many people, the list is long and I am at the bottom, I can’t do this for myself, it has to be for others. I have added more pictures to my wall, and when I am screaming in pain, dulled by the music I have blasting out I know I am not alone. Many of us have a battle right? Mine is to live longer, that is it man, I can’t define it any better. I do feel lonely, I am having to decline offers to be places or go places because what I am doing I have to FIND HATE! And I don’t do hate, in my mind I MUST find a reason to keep doing what I am doing in a pain I have never felt before. The pain is dull, very deep and doesn’t go away. So when I am in that room I change my thinking to where I need to put it, then I have to start thinking about my Daughters and others before I finish and leave THAT ROOM. 7 weeks in and my body is starting to tighten, I feel the effects. I have to beat this, the rest is just BULLSHIT # The Reality Of Blogging. We shout over each other, it’s 8ull$h1t <# My thoughts on Blogging at the end of 2015

A Song To My Family

1st Report for my Gym/Boxing work. As I fight for life

2nd Report for my Gym/Boxing work. As I fight for life in agony

March 5th 2013: When we place ourselves in a private bubble, turn to love

~~~

DeNauN-This Corner
Via ShadyRecords on You Tube – LYRICS BELOW

[Intro]

Hey look let me tell y'all somethin' alright?
What I do, I do
Straight like that
So ain't no sense in y'all troublin' yourselves over that
'Cause man the way I feel right now today

I came up on the wrong side of the fence
I gave my family pain and strife and asked them all for strength
But hell in my defence
And I got too much way too fast
My mama told me it won't last
Now I'm back down on the bottom
Wishin' that I took another path
I should've listened
But my mind was gone
My temper too quick so when my fuse get lit so when it's on, it's on
Yeah, everybody wrong
Yeah, and I'm always right
Yeah, ain't nobody to blame now
It's me vs. Me, man, this my fight

So don't look at me like I am the same person I was before
We all deserve a second chance and this time I think I can do more
I'm better

Yeah I put that on my family, all you gotta do is give me the chance
And I can show you that I'm worthy of the trust that you require
Put it all on my shoulders, I'm a fighter, I won't get tired
When I'm back up in this corner, back up in this corner, tryna get out
Back up in this corner, back up in this corner, gotta get out

You think I got none but I got all kind of sense
Stop judgin' my book by the cover
Maybe you should do a little recounting since
I ain't tryna vent, this ain't what was me
It's nothing owed to me
Get the swan song, I don't need an ode to me
Shit hopefully holdin' this rosary'll keep me out of close calls with 
the O police
I said I'm tryna be a whole new me
I ain't tryna do the same old thing
I'm tryna prove to my family that I will not bring
No more trouble around, I ain't gotta do nothing
But stay out of shit, I ain't gotta be up in the chaotic
Prolly 'cause it's my redemption that I'm entrenched in
And I won't let anybody deny my vision, it's my decision
But y'all ain't listenin'

So don't look at me like I am the same person I was before
We all deserve a second chance and this time I think I can do more
I'm better

Yeah I put that on my family, all you gotta do is give me the chance
And I can show you that I'm worthy of the trust that you require
Put it all on my shoulders, I'm a fighter, I won't get tired
When I'm back up in this corner, back up in this corner, tryna get out
Back up in this corner, back up in this corner, gotta get out

It's my gameplan now
To get in this ring and show that I'm a changed man and how
I won't blow another chance to make you proud
Even though you got the right to hate me now
I know you lost your hope in me
But hopefully I can restore it back where it's supposed to be
I just want my daughter back, this fight means much more than that
I'm tryna think before I react, I ain't get the message at first
I tried to ignore the facts
But I'm much older, she's my soldier, I told you
I'd go to war for that
I said your boy is the truth and it's no lie in him
All he needs is his family with him
Y'all want him 'til it's no room given
I'ma hit him 'til the ref come and get him

So don't look at me like I am the same person I was before
We all deserve a second chance and this time I think I can do more
I'm better

~~End~~

ShaunyNews Twitter: @ShaunyNews
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
ShaunyNews Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ShaunyNews1/

My New Life Starts Today. Please watch this video! ♫ FIX YOU ♫

I MADE IT TO THE TOP OF THE HILL!

I MADE IT TO THE TOP OF THE HILL!

I was sent a video from a relative’s Uncle a few weeks ago, half family soon to be or something. It got to me, I seen something in this video, I will leave it below, I felt the video. I have sat at this chair or other chairs in agony for too long now, so today I decided to start walking the dog more. Today, first try, 20 minutes up to the top of the hill then back down again. The pain I am in now is INSANE but I feel like it’s worth it. The pain will never dissipate or lessen; learning to live in pain is what I am trying to do here. I say this and bore myself to tears but I have a family, two little girls I want to walk down the aisle one day at their weddings. If I stay where I am, stand still I won’t be here for 10 years more, never mind 20 or 30. So today is the start of something new. I can only try, I will fall, I will fail, but I always (Sorry, lol) come back to my 15 years as a football coach and manager today. I remember I roared at people to go that extra yard, that extra pace, to give all they have, AND I WAS GOOD AT IT. So now let me put to practice what I preached to others for many years. I know it’s going to hurt but if I am going to live in pain I need my muscles to be more and I need my mind clearer. I had to take a small amount of medication when I came back. So today was a start. I write a lot, people reach back often, I reach back too. So to the lad who gave me this video and planted a seed in my mind. Thanks a lot mate… I will enjoy that pint all the better one day 😀 This video below is about an ex Army lad from the USA. He gave up, but 1 man seen him and thought “I need to help him” This video I will watch most days to motivate myself. I am doing this for me sure, but if you love me, I do it for you also. Get up!! Stand up! I need to win again. Life ain’t beating me. I demand better from myself. Today I start a new journey, a new way of being and becoming. I am in agony, but pain is pain, life is life..This video made me cry when I was first sent it, but it took me a few weeks to get myself ready for this journey. So no matter where I end up I hope for my 2 wee princess’ I do it. I AM STANDING BACK UP…

Never, Ever Give Up. Arthur’s Inspirational Transformation!
Via: Diamond Dallas Page on You Tube

NEVER GIVE IN, YOU WILL FALL, BUT GET BACK UP!! I used to say this to people, now I need it for me. 

More love, less hate.

20151108_135545

Just the start!

20151108_135550

I could see the Highlands of Scotland after 1 walk. I will post other walks as I go

20151108_135603

My new walking buddy…

Shauny 

ShaunyNews Twitter:@ShaunyNews
ShaunyNews Facebook:http://www.facebook.com/groups/shaunynews/
Skype: shaunyg1973
Chronic Illness Support:https://www.facebook.com/groups/ChronicIllSupport/
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Stopping My Medication Progress – Family Walk Away From Our Ill’s

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We lose control of our minds often

Strange as it is, my brother from another Mother wrote exactly as I did at the same time here http://justusowls.com/2015/10/29/attention/ < 😀 #WOW! That is from my friend Eddie Tatro, an American Archbishop. I hate writing these blogs, reason I don’t do many but they allow me to look back in time and see where I was a week ago, month ago or a year ago, this helps me and even better it helps my old Dr who is a pain Dr and it helps others who have chronic illness, I am a guy who needs to help, I can’t hate or be selfish. September 7th was my last progress report HERE and I am almost off the worst Medication today. Morphine is an evil drug as it speaks and acts for you and you have no idea what you have done, like I say below, Family walked away from an ill Son/Brother/Cousin/Nephew/Friend/Whatever, but I don’t blame them, today I would ask them to understand the illness and medication were your enemy, not me, I suffered like you and I am aware people are worse off than me and also, sadly, people hold grudges for life often, not something I will do, I can’t, I don’t know how to hate or leave a loved one hanging. For many years, just in moments the medication acted and spoke for me. I am now able to help others in my group called Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain Issues <Click) Anyone living the hell I once was is free to join my group where we are all trying to stand back up again, because of my journey I am now able to help others who are down and can’t get up. Keep in mind, to be pain is to know and understand a pain that exists in all our moments, tricking the brain can only be done so far, the rest you need a good loving partner and family and friends who seen me struggling and helped me stand up, I didn’t thank them, I would do the same for them, for me that is what family and friends do, we help each other stand back up.

UB40 – All I Want to Do (Lyric Video)
These lyrics pretty much sum up what I say here

It taught me hate but it taught me not to hate back, also it taught me to smile when hate was around or calling on me. Also, NOT 1 PERSON DIED IN THE CREATION OF THIS OR ANY BLOGS I DID, NOR DID ANYONE DIE FROM TEXTS OR EMAILS I SENT. But people did die and I am the bad guy? That one confuses a lot of my friends more than it does me, but please, no hate, just examples of human expression and how technology can bring us together or tear us apart, the written word is a mystery to the untrained eye who has not spoken to the voice of the font they read. Many I have not spoken to for a decade and more, yet they have me all sussed out and named me as what they will. This is life, happens to us all. Irony is the very same people who throw hate are hated themselves, but hate is choice, I choose not to hate, I choose to neglect hate, not feed it and ignore itsteve-jobs-quotes-1024x658 Because of my experiences with the Medication, family and friends I am now remembering what these vile Drugs were doing to not just me but people globally as you will see in the group from other people, there are 400 people all saying the same damn thing “Family walked away from me” So this was helpful to me in bad moments, I understood love more and today I am happy and the people in my life, people I visit, speak too, whoever and whatever are through my choice, losing sleep isn’t something I do over harsh words spoken behind me, people read font and take it badly but what I notice and learn is, with some I can only exist with them in the spoken word, font loses people. Of course people need to take Medication to live, for all my friends and people I met on my journey who stayed around and were decent, knowing I was a friend or family member just trying to stand up, I don’t need to thank you, again, we should expect loved ones to understand, sadly and if you read my Blogs on our World I am insignificant and so are you. Now my mind is clearer still I notice a few family members, and I can’t blame them, have walked away from me. Yet at the back of my mind I am thinking “If they had Cancer, would people walk away from them?” Because that is how it feels today. No hate 😀 The illness and medication actually has put me in a great place today as all the wrongs from yesterday make us happy today, if this is so then all the hurt was worth it and we should move on, I am, are you? I am trying my best to reach these few Family members I want in my life again and I will keep trying till we can all smile together again, sadly as you know if you read my blog, dysfunction, anger and hatred are stubborn words with human effects. Today all I can say to anyone I chased away is “Sorry” But please know I was and still am very ill and was very medicated, big deal! I just hate what moments have done to my family, people think they are oh so perfect, yet if you point me to a perfect person I point back and say ‘Liar’hqdefaultI don’t want sympathy, I just want a few members of family back, understanding, let it be said once then move on and live and have fun is my idea here. I was a bad lad when I was in my early 20’s, people I have not seen for 20 years still think I am that guy, so the different between me being a young criminal to an ill person highly medicated is the same, MUD STICKS and people who don’t see the human side to our suffering walk away, gossip and talk behind you. All I ask is if you can, pick up the phone or get out my life, a life I am smiling through these days with the help of my 2 wee girls who are 5 and 6 years old, 2 little barrels of joy that are helping me step back to MY reality and my choosing of whom is in my life, they have no idea how much they help me my kids, one day when I am an old man I might tell them. For Brothers and Sisters, to parents and uncles, cousins and all in-between, talk or walk, I lose no energy over hate. I say at the foot of most blogs “More love, less hate” And I do mean it. Often these days I am wondering if the illness has did this or has the World changed so much? I asked the question in the blog below.

I did this blog a week ago today: Today’s Disfunctional Family Unit <Click)

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The Hallucinations I was having over the last few months were fairly bad, looking up from your bed in agony as your body demands the poison and Blog 1seeing your sadly passed away Gran in-front of you is not pleasant let me assure you, am I red faced because of the things I said? Yes, do I lose sleep? No because I was not in control. I know many people with the same issues as me, and we always have fun and laugh, we NEVER talk about life in a bad way. I was told this morning, not in a bad way, but gently that I sent emails or texts a few years back to half my family, I have no idea I did this, I have no recollection of this event. I guess today with a clear mind and better moments and better today’s I am maybe, not angry at some people, I can’t find the right word for it. But I go back to what I said above “Would we walk away from a family member or friend with Cancer” Who were struggling? Hell no, sadly through life’s process’s my illness made me do things I had no idea I was doing. To say I am 100% clear would be a lie because I had a misunderstanding with a guy I love to bits last week, I was in bed screaming trying to hide life from my two little princess’s and it was a BAD MOMENT a moment I learnt that when I am in, I turn off the internet and hide my tablet and phone. We spoke and love was said. Down the right hand side of my blog is “Deliberate Donkey” <Click) I am the kid in the boat, I wrote that medicated but with the full knowledge of certain people I did ask before I wrote it, 1 person forgot, but it’s ok, events break us and events make us. An old wise guy I know and spoke to earlier today says to me a lot “I cry for Humanity” For many years I didn’t give it thought, as I grow old and because 80% of my blogs are about our World I understand the wise man’s words today. I learn every day, but if people don’t want me in their life then who loses? I have all I need right here, I am happy now in my Bubble. When we place ourselves in a private bubble, turn to love <Click) I actually wrote about this blog on March 13th 2013CHc0mFvWsAE5V5R

My partner reminds me of this

My partner reminds me of this “People listen to you Shaun” She tells me

See, because I write in moments like this about life I can go back and re-read how I was in other moments like here and know I am either recovering or regressing, either way what I have is for life but in a non-morbid way of thinking, we are all dying slowly right? Sadly Millions die slower, often over a lifetime, for these people I must share this, if you are not ill and don’t get this blog, please don’t reply and simply choose to walk away from it, we have choice in this life, I choose to be as open as I can with my life on here, in reality I share 10% of my life to the World, it just seems more. I am aware I did bad things and I am aware some bad things I did can never be forgotten so all I can do is try and make up for them. My partner reminds me always “Shaun, you were winning once and you can win again” She is my rock, my logic, my thoughts, my best friend and lover and she shows me things to prove her point so I wills share my partners meaning with you so you understand how gentle she is with me when I am not in a good way

I WON BEFORE! I am bottom left, my 2nd in commands hand on my shoulder

I WON BEFORE! I am bottom left, my 2nd in commands hand on my shoulder

Dr Alastair Dobbin: Dr Sheila Ross, PhD

Dr Alastair Dobbin: Dr Sheila Ross, PhD

This here I am writing 1st for myself also so I can let my Dr and ill friends or people who are on the ground read it, my old Dr gets useful information from it as it’s his job as a pain specialist to help others. We used to go to the big conference rooms in the Astley Ainslie Hospital with Dr Alastair Dobbin in Edinburgh and I would do Question and Answer sessions about how my pain came, how it destroyed me then made me again to 100 to 300 people at a time, this is his site and I am on it in Video if you look The Foundation for positive mental health

life-quoteThis is brilliant information for people who recently have been told they may die or will spend the rest of their lives in pain. What I have will kill me if I let it so it’s all about being honest with myself, writing freely and not caring who I offend or who is upset over internet font. The internet did 2 things to this World in my eyes, first it brought the World together in a great way, I speak to people from the USA to Australia and all in-between, the downside to technology like this is people read things wrong and the meaning is lost and hate happens, when in-fact all people can do is pick up a phone and ask “What did that mean?” But some still sit all angry and sad about things we write and share. This is my 2,570th blog today on ShaunyNews, I have done less than 100 blogs on this very subject. Often it seems to me I do it more, so I have to keep in mind I may have hurt people I love. But I ask again “Would we walk away from a family member we love who had Cancer?” Because it’s the same damn thing, it’s just different. People say “I don’t believe him/her” or “He/she is making it up” even “He/she is feeling sorry for himself” Well that is a fair comment against all of us who are an invisible disability, but stop for a second and ask why they say this. Yeah, we turn the coin around and we understand hate more. I am an expressive lad, tons of my family and friends love me for it but a FEW don’t. When I say a few, it may be more, but the FEW are the ones I would love to get a phone call from. AGAIN, NOBODY WAS HARMED, HURT, KILLED OR EVEN OFFENDED BY ANY OF THIS. People today are so selfish and wrapped up in their own pathetic lives they forget and in the end we see people sit at funerals crying tears of regret or “I should have said more” or “I could have helped more” In the end I call these tears guilt. If you read hatred from me today whilst reading you are the hatred, you are hate not me. I lost the ability to hate when life gave me things to love, when life made me understand the difference between a fool and a good person. I am 42 years old and I honestly feel like I was 18 years old yesterday and I woke up and am now an older guy 😀 It’s a very strange thing, I talked it with my Dr the other day and the Dr simply said “With the medication you were on, you had no control” This gave me a smile and a reason to try and re-connect to life, family and friends. But do be sure like you, I make decisions on who is in my life, as always it’s a 2 way street and today’s hating World makes it harder for us to understand each other, especially when we only read each other on Social Media I now call home instead of listening to a voice. An older relative and I found this out together only last week. I am reconnecting slowly with family and friends and soon I will have a surprise for myself, if others are surprised then so be it, for me, what is to come, I CAN’T WAIT!! x

Like you, I am just trying to live and fighting to live

Like you, I am just trying to live and fighting to live

More love, less hate

This is my blog banner, look down the right hand side of this blog, all blogs. Am I a hater?

This is my blog banner, look down the right hand side of this blog, all blogs. Am I a hater?

Shauny 

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Coming off the heavy medication -Progress report – For me and you

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I write these mainly for other people like me and so I can look back in a few months and see the progress. I have already done a few ‘Coming off Medication’ blogs. I just read over them and it is good to see I have made more progress since. It is nearing 5am, I slept for 36 hours straight over the weekend, woke on Sunday tea time, everyone had went to the botanic gardens, so I woke confused with my last memory me picking Dawn and the girls up from my Son’s house. Lately I have had to almost become a recluse to my own life. I am on purpose trying not to be around too many people, so if you read this and wonder why you are not seeing much off me, know it’s all good but I don’t want to be with people at this stage of my progression to normality, whatever that is right 😀 Really define what a normal life is and I will show a lie. There is no ‘Right way to live’ There is only our way, this is what I am feeling as very slowly I come off the Morphine 1st and 12 tablets a day as I am just now. I was on 20mg of Morphine 4 x a day = 80mg, almost a full bottle a day to now 4ml A DAY! Every 2nd day, once I have 5ml with 6 tablets and not 12 as I was before, the side effects are awful, it makes you go to a strange place but slowly I am starting to feel more alive, having more fun. I ask the people I love to know I think of them and to please give me time to come back, to fight this. I can’t fight you while I fight this, but when my fight is even with myself, I help you fight your fight, always I am behind you, know this x

Fighting this is hard

Fighting this is hard

Don’t get me wrong there is not 1 day since I wanted to come off Morphine and reduce tablet in-take where I have not been in utter agony but it’s strange, I now know why I am in pain, where the pain comes from and what I am doing just now is giving myself a fighting chance. I stopped smoking, I stopped drinking fizzy juice, I am eating better and have lost a few pounds, so this gives me a fighting chance, soon I will be doing less of the bad stuff and more that helps me. The hardest part is not seeing people. Really it kills me, but I know when I am ready to meet certain people again I am lucid and in control of the conversation. Will be strange, a normal 42 year old Shaun, LOL. In reality that is the deal here, I am stepping back into life, football and will be ready to take the world on again, I can’t wait for that day to come. But for now I must stick to the deal with my Dr and Dawn and get through this, these are the hardest times I guess, my body is screaming for more medication, the temptation to take them is high so the battle not to take is a battle I am winning, and winning well.

Setting goals is very important

Setting goals is very important

For now, I hope everyone is ok, if you read this and are family know I love you, and please be ready to accept a fool of a man back into your life that will make you laugh as I once did before. It’s been a very hard 10 years or so for Dawn and I but the last 3 months our friendship then love have kept us good and well. I can’t thank the woman enough, but I need not thank her, when you make a promise in love it’s to ‘Love that person in sickness and in health’ It would have been easy for 1 of us to walk but no! We had two little girls and they saved us. Looking back now more aware and awake I see it more and I smile. I have people around me who get me, help me and understand me and as my own self comes back the odd day here and there when I am too much. People in shops when I am being goofy ask Dawn “How do you live with him” Because I am making the whole shop laugh…..

Getting a REAL sense of humor back is fun

Getting a REAL sense of humor back is fun

…..Now that is a Shaun Dawn likes and I like too, and most important my 2 wee princess will see at an age when it’s all they will remember. They won’t remember the days I was screaming in bed or sitting crying because the pain was killing me. The battle is half won here, I will ease past the rest and it will be hell to the end, but I will do it with ease and people who want to see me better will see that. Again it’s more important my Partner, 2 sons and 2 daughters and my inner circle see a difference. I want to be closer with some and decided I didn’t want to be with others, all of it has been choice since day one. So, the fight carries on and soon the lights will be back on 😀 I can’t wait

It could be said..But who loses sleep? :D

It could be said..But who loses sleep? 😀

On my pain page, I update from time to time: Living with M.E.

January 2nd 2015 THE HUMAN MIND, FEELINGS, EMOTIONS AND CHRONIC PAIN ‘IF YOU HAVE THAT’

January 22nd 2015 Coming Off My Fibromyalgia Medication, enough is enough – Time to be braver

February 17th 2015 Will Blog, Won’t Blog, Will Blog, Won’t Blog – This poison needs out my system

July 7th 2015  #Decisions – Letter to ‘All Addicts’ – Drugs/Drink/Gambling & more

July 14th 12 week progress report – Me coming off Prescribed Drugs – The Battle

Winning the battle......

Winning the battle……

More love, less hate

Shauny 

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Why Do We Fall? – Motivational Video For People Who Can’t Stand Up

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Strange day in many ways today. I spoke with a ton of people who are ill or disabled, even dying. All we can offer are words with no reasons often. So without over talking (Typing) here I will cut to the chase. Now this works for me and I told others and it works for them, they say ‘Thank you Shaun’ But keep in mind I was taught this also, I once thanked a person. When the pain, depression, panic attacks, whatever happen or sets in, try and use a tool. Now this tool can be music, a movie, a walk, basically reaffirming your own reasons to carry on, because sometimes people don’t carry on and we are left thinking “Should I have said more” But the reality is we can be guilt. So I am offering a solution that works for me. Music and motivational things. Head-set on and it does help. I use music but I also listen to reasons why. If you want to help others stand up or be helped to stand up please know you can join this small group, I keep it small so people can talk and be heard..so fire away.. Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain Issues <Click)

I hope this helps you!!

Why Do We Fall – Motivational Video
Via Mateusz M on You Tube

More love, Less hate – More helping! 

Shauny

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12 week progress report – Me coming off Prescribed Drugs – The Battle

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My Page I pay for. My right to say the words I do. I aim to offend nobody nor tell people how to live

So week 12 for me, coming off prescribed drugs. I have my mind 100% these days but the pain is just a new level. The pain is sharper on me. The pain of M.E is not come and go pain, its 24/7 and very hard to ignore. I have this “Help Group for Chronic Illness’s” <Click) This group is a small group with just a few hundred people on it, but people who just ‘Help’ We all have a story, mine is no worse nor better than your pain, whoever you are reading this, pain is pain in all and any source of pain and its meaning.

Right now I am seeing sleep being the biggest visible impact on my day to day living. It was bad before when I had just #Fibro but now pain and coming off its poison of help that actually doesn’t help. Now there are ill people out there who just 100% need to take their prescription, my God don’t listen to me, always, and this is for anyone, see a Dr! With my kind of pain there is no tablet, well there is if you choose to live like a legal junkie and being ‘Judged 😀 By ‘People. See people do this. I am also people here, we just judge like we have a bigger moral compass than others. Facts are we are all the same; we have all done bad things and been in bad places, today we are awake to read my nonsense, so that’s a good start right?

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For me it’s not about “OK I DID BAD THINGS OR ENDED UP IN A BAD PLACE”… Now I never actually blame myself for today, I had no say it its handling, I was taking for the pain, and I had choice when my body screamed, I would rather make it about living, just living same as you and how I can stand back up every day life pushes me over, I am pushing back, so it’s not what we were it’s who we will become.

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Today I have choice and I choose to be the Shaun a younger Dawn met all these years ago, the son a Mum can know to the brother a sibling can smile with to friends where we both lost each other. But more important a father to 4, and more so for my 2 little princess’s. They are amazing fun. Because my body and mind are trapped, mind not so trapped now, these two little girls make me laugh so hard and they help and don’t know it 😀 They are a GOD SEND. These things just happen when needed? To just be here when I as a person need to smile through pain, so this older Shaun I am now trying to be, more just being is good fun, Dawn and my kids help so much, so new Shaun is changing but wiser, more grown up but never losing my sense of humour, it’s good to be happy you know. lol

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So that was it. For my partner my kids and others who I love, this is just me saying “Hey, this is where I am at and all is good” Even to others I know online or through all the Social media outlets, I reach a few thousand people every time I hit publish, maybe more. Check the top right! 1.3 Million People have joined me on an AMAZING journey just on this page in a year, it’s amazing. Every blog I did to this one I share in 16 places so its brilliant fun when I hurt to be able to write this, takes me 4 x longer than one of my Daughters in amount of words to do 😀 We pay for the internet so we should enjoy it right? 😀 I am not online as much today as many of you have said, I know, but for now I can only do what I can do. I stopped smoking also. Add no medication and no nicotine into the equation and it’s really hard.

I have this image on my wall, every day it tells me to get my sorry arse UP. And it's working

I have this image framed on my wall, every day it tells me to get my sorry arse UP.

So as I read back on blogs from a year ago, 6 months ago, last month and last week I see change. Looking back a year I was in such a bad way. Sad to read what I read to be fair, I do feel embarrassed but I had no control over my mind, so I am reading someone or something else when I read back the way.

ioizd0I will look back at this blog in months to come and with luck and effort I can still see a guy struggling to move forward. Today my mind is so open it’s untrue, I am cheering up, making Dawn laugh for sure and the girls are just too much sometimes. The questions they ask are brilliant. I could sit and debate a 5 or 6 year old kid for hours, the questions are like “Where does this come from” So the answering the question is the fun part when I hear “Daddy, know how…” or whatever is just superb fun. Being a parent is a not just being a parent it’s about being a friend. The list to the < left I just love. It is this and more these 2 wee girls need and helping them, while they help me is the best fun I have had in years, and each day my mind opens they do notice, but they don’t ask why. This is why I love their company 😀 I have adult friends and most adults I know I can put up with, then we ALL have family or friends we be like “OH GOD HERE WE GO” When we meet up, yeah I got that Family and friends also, I am no different to you 😀 Anyway I am bored now, I need to write some football and this is depressing me. So Shaun 1-0 Life is the score today. I will fight with all I have to keep the score that way. But I am in a battle for my life, this is not lost on either my partner and I. This is a fight for many things, I am lucky to have the support but thankful I can be that support back.

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Life is just amazing fun, any day could be our last, so with no morbid thoughts in our mind just smile. Just have a laugh and have fun. When the bad comes we fight it. In the end life wins always right? So why do we fight it now? 😀 Life is so very, very simple and fun. I hope I helped 1 person to get there with all this, and I am guessing deep down a few maybe.  But I can only help because I have been helped before and still. Life is a 2 way street. Don’t become anger and sad. Become fun and laughter. We lose in the end right? So today we surround ourselves with whom we love and can laugh with. In the end, the truth is we all have one shot at this life. I choose life. Your choice will be your choice, I won’t judge you, so don’t you dare judge me. #RespectOurWorld And respect each other. 

UB40 Kingston Town 

Shaun 🙂

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#Decisions – Letter to ‘All Addicts’ – Drugs/Drink/Gambling & more

Pen.jpeg As I have this page ShaunyNews and all these other outlets I guess I better type something before I have to pay money back. Had a real good few weeks, re-connected in fun with family and friends, all good. It has been 2 months almost to the day I said “Enough of my addiction” I wrote about it here Fibromyalgia – I have had enough, it ends here for me <Click) When I read that back I see a guy lost at sea alone, but that was good, reality had sunk it that if I didn’t change I was going make life hard for all the people I love, so, that article above is the same as anyone readying themselves for perhaps “MAKING THAT DECISION” Decisions can be all of the issues below and many more

1.    A woman ready walk away from an abusive partner, but can’t through fear

2.    An alcoholic wasting their families money, rent, Christmas money on alcohol

3.    A person alone and sad thinking “I need to get out and live” but often can’t

4.    Any person at odds with life, be it life, God or conscious thinking

5.    A heroin addict whose family has had a funeral for them while they breath

6.    A Person, 30% of Heroin addicts <Click) who had a life and had that funeral also. Lost it at the Dr’s office

7.    A person too old, and comfortable, to walk away from being unhappy, so they remain

8.    A kid leaving School with “What will I become” choice to make, a life decision us Elders help with

9.    A person who is shy, gossips, cares what the neighbours think, unable to understand nor notice why they do this

10. A person in love about to sexually cheat on their love, to a gay, lesbian, transgender or Bi-sexual who can’t open the closet door.

All these are ‘Decisions. All above we either felt or had to carry or carry for another. When all is said and done we make decisions, some right some wrong. The only ‘what I can take from all this is, I am aware I make decisions that will make others feel or good or bad. Every day every one of must decide, we must make the choice or die trying, because at the end of the day, as many good ‘Comedians have said ‘We end in a box regardless, so I say make your choices and smile while doing so. I have a friend, their name begins with ‘J and they were number 1. Unhappy and a ‘Decision away from a new life or another 30 years of what they just lived, what did they decide?

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DECIDE!!

In this moment I am sorry I must be selfish and talk about my own ‘Decisions quickly. Self loathing I have grown to dislike. I made a ‘Decision a few Months ago privately with my Dr to ‘Decide to come off medication. So here I am 6 good weeks in, hospital trip when I came off too quick aside I am doing ok. The decision I made was for me but also for my future and the future of all those who call me Son, Brother, Lover, Dad, Daddy or friend and any other definition

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1,  2,  3,  4,  5,  6, 7

imagesThe last 5 days or so I have the bad withdrawal feelings. I have awoken wide awake hallucinating ‘HELL. I have awoken, wide awake hallucinating ‘HELL. I can’t move, yeah twice. The ‘Feelings of Dr Heroin need are grabbing my mind today, the real fight has begun. If I want to walk both my daughters down the aisle never mind see my boys get married, I have to stand by my decision. Do not dare give me sympathy, I willingly took Dr’s Heroin, had I chosen with hindsight, I would have chosen different. Decision is pride, love, lust, hate, envy, gluttony and you get the drift, choose well! download Ask yourself one question dear reader, have you always chosen wisely? Are you perfect? If you thought yes, sadly you are in for a shock and you need to make better decisions. Life hurts if we allow it be we disabled, depressed, lost, sad or we just have to make that ‘Decision

 Do you have ‘Decision to make dear reader? x

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