linkin Park – The Messenger – Chester Bennington – Live unplugged – Lyrics

Sometimes the lyrics of a song just ‘Make Sense’. We can use them as our own, that is the beauty of Music, we can play it till it gets stuck in our minds, lodged so deeply we sing it and own it. This is SENSATIONAL from Chester. He might not be here no more, but we can keep ANYONE alive by sharing what they stood for.

#FuckDepression

~~~~

Linkin Park – the messenger – Chester Bennington Live unplugged – Lyrics
Via: dirtyhak on You Tube

MORE LOVE, LESS HATE

blogger-for-peace-van-2

BLOGGERS FOR PEACE AND SANITY

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE

Shaun Gibson Twitter: @ShaunyScot
Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS - THIS REPRESENTS 'BETTER' FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

THE ABOVE IMAGE NEEDS CHANGED TO THIS – THIS REPRESENTS ‘BETTER’ FOR SOCIETY TO JUDGE

 

 

 

Get busy living or get busy dying

Thanks to the Shawshank Redemption for this saying

Thanks to the Shawshank Redemption for this saying

Dealing with being pissed off at being in pain and other things

Yesterday and today, although better today my yearly Sinus issue begun. I am to take antihistamines each day, and I wasn’t, so I paid for it yesterday. I spent the day STRUGGLING to do normal things. Already in agony with my normal Chronic Pain I had to deal with this Migraine, right behind my eyes and my sinus was blocked and also shooting pains in both ears

Some days I wake up and “Pray for one day” Just one day where I don’t have to deal with this. Again, I say this and I get guilty. And I know now I shouldn’t but I can’t help it, others tell me this, some who are well worse off than I. People who have no movement from the neck down to people dying, all telling, me not to feel this guilt, it is just my way, I can’t change it, but I guess it is my pain, my story, my life and my blog, so I have to learn to share, as I have been, with no guilt, and I do try

As a kid my Mother tells me I got ill often, as an adult I just don’t get ill, no flu’s, no colds. No nothing. I wasn’t ill yesterday; I was just sore, but in another way. Dealing with EVERY DAY! Is becoming tiresome, annoying, painful, upsetting, brings anger and hate! And I don’t do hate. I just hate having to burden my family with my issues, again, I am being stupid, they tell me this, people on here have told me this, but again, these are my feelings

Someone asked “What is the pain like” I answered “All over body toothache” This is the best way I can describe my pain. Others will have other ways to describe it, this is how I describe my pain, all over toothache, and only all day and every time I frikkin blink!

So getting annoyed is a symptom for me, getting angry, and depression is another. I am not depressed; I have not been told I am clinically depressed. I went to speak to an expert and had him in stitches of laughter; he knew I wasn’t depressed; I just got angry when the pain came.

I am tired. I need to rest, but I am stubborn, I don’t listen to my body. When my body tells me to rest, I don’t, and I should, so this is something I need to break through. If my body tells me to rest I rest. This is all new to me.  I have had this way over 10 years, but only the last few years have these thoughts came to my mind. I hope by restarting Soccer management and buying a Dog to walk will at least allow me to build up my muscles. I have been told and advised by my Dr, the Hospital and my occupational therapist to do both. “Get Moving” they tell me, and I have started, but with it comes enormous pain

I am fighting harder than I have, I am pushing myself to the limit, both mind and body, in the hope  I can break free from the mind games I play with myself. Pain is pain, no matter what I do, I will be in pain, and it is just the levels. I am testing myself to the limit here and if the pain is stronger, tough, I need to get back to living, I need to get out of this self created bubble and get out there again, doing things I love. Should I fail, I don’t know what I will do.

So, get busy living, or get busy dying

When we place ourselves in a private bubble, turn to love

Some place themselves in a private space

Some place themselves in a private space

When it became clear to me all these years ago I had Chronic Pain and other stuff wrong with me, I did not think it would impact my life the way it has. When I was told, I was still working and still active as a football coach and manager (Soccer for anyone in the USA)

Then the pain came, and the pride took a mauling. I wasn’t the same me, I had become someone I didn’t like, I had to learn to like myself all over again, and it was the hardest thing I have done, and to some extent, still doing

I speak to many people in pain, and just by listening I am helping them, and sometimes when you really listen you can tell that the person’s life is not what it once was. There is the argument, and this, again, is where my guilt comes from, when I realise somewhere, people are worse than me, people are dying, and live in a worse place than I do. But I have to remind myself this is my life, my story I am writing about, and I do it to help both other people and myself

I am blessed with my home, my kids, my partner, and my close family who I miss terribly. I say miss terribly, because when the pain came I placed myself in an imaginary bubble, where I was safe. And this is common for people to do. I stopped visiting people and made up excuses when people wanted to visit me. This is normal behaviour, and I cry a lot knowing I want to be with loved ones more. I am missing life due to the pain, and the bubble I am in, so I must fight! I must, in my late 30’s break away from it before I am stuck for good, but I am sure too many people care for me and love me for them to allow me to do this

Somewhere in my subconscious I know I had or have to change this. I harbour ideas of getting back into Football management, and then my head drops as I know it will hurt. So I have a decision to make, do I stay in this bubble in pain, or do I get back out there and face the word, and be in a bit more pain. The answer is very easy, but doing it is not. I have tried so many times to break the bubble, close the door on the bubble, only to step back inside when my pride got dented for whatever reason.

When I see people I have not seen for say 10 years, they think I am the same Shaun, and I am, but they don’t know the pain, they don’t know how the pain hurts just me, but the people around me. My family love me and I am blessed in knowing this, just typing it brought a smile to my face. Long story, something happened today, with a family member that made me smile

So we all have a bubble, some stay in it for a short time, some longer, some never escape it.  I know many people who suffer depression do this, they have another word for it, they just “Hide away from the world” I call it “In my bubble” So when I speak to people who do likewise, we help each other.

A girl I know just helped me, a small act of individual kindness from a woman I love. What she just did made my day and put a smile on my face and I can’t thank her enough. So even today, both the girl I am speaking about and I learnt something. And that is what living is, learning to cope, and learning what is happening when you step out of the bubble, or allow someone into your bubble. The people in my house get in my bubble, not many others do. A girl I know just entered it

For anyone living in a bubble, or hiding from the world, know it does not have to be this way, you can show your face, you can go out, you are brave enough and you can do it. Why do I know this? I know this because every time I blog, or share, I open my private bubble to the planet. So anyone who does a blog and hides from the world, you are not alone to the world, you are asking strangers to enter your world.

I hope people understand what I am talking about here, for me it is very personal

More Love, less hate

Shaun

I dedicate this to a young woman I love more than she knows 🙂

What is inspiration (Video and Words)

inspirational-quotes-3

If you know me as a person or just a blogger, or someone you just read, you will know some things, I love inspiration and winning, but not at any cost. I also love to love and live to learn, sometimes the smallest things can touch my heart, sometimes my heart can touch the biggest things, it’s a two way street. Inspiration comes in many forms, from pride, to a child’s smile, from your partners hug, to a video you seen, or a song, or a blog and a poet and all in-between

I have blogged about pain and suffering and all the bad things, I have also blogged in the hope I can inspire one person, make one person feel better, I don’t do pissing contests with the world, I don’t compete with myself to say I am better, I try  to be equal an make myself fit in

But there is a streak in me that wants’ to life other people up, I have always had it and I know not where it comes from, or maybe I do, I just have not noticed.

Many things in life inspire me, from a picture of a butterfly to a sporting moment to reading about love to listening about hope.  I am neither bigger or better not smaller or weaker. This is Shaun.

I blog because I want to change the world, I can’t change the world, but if I can change one person in the world, then my life was worth living. These are the values I try and live by

Below is a video that I was sent by a friend, and it gave me Goosebumps and inspired me to do this blog. Because life is about getting back up, it is about facing your fears. Some hide away, and die alone; they need not do this, as there is a path and a place for everyone

Enjoy the video and I hope it lifted you as it did me