Experimental Poetry #3

The blog I just did below this was about HOW I LIVE WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. And here is my GOOD FRIEND Patrick laying his story and his soul in a poem. A poem has the same power as a song for me, and others. Like any song, we all take different meanings, but usually the same feelings. From my blog below this, to this by Patrick Fisher here, clearly I am not alone, and neither is Patrick. But we are still (LIKE MILLIONS+) here, we made it this far, how far can we make it? For me it’s #BabySteps, I can’t think an hour ahead, never mind days or weeks. It’s IMPOSSIBLE. PATRICK, you are an amazing friend and man, you inspired me to open up HERE, I reached out and people like you reached back. I loved the words and they hit me exactly where you intended them to in yourself, also knowing you are helping many others. Great post mate. Easy Reblog!

Perspectives

If only I could make you see,
The darkness deep inside of me,
If I could make you understand,
I wander round a barren land,
If I could show you how the light,
Never sees the endless night,
If I could show the blackened tide,
Crushing me from every side,
If I could make you feel the pain,
That’s slowly driving me insane,
If I could make you see the void,
Where my soul sits now destroyed,
If only I could make you see,
How much my life yearns to be free.

© Copyright 2017 – Patrick Fisher

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Dying Inside

After doing this blog here “Suicide is not always a ‘One-off-Act’ – It’s a living thought for People “ I got a few ‘Gossips’ from people who ‘should know better’, but also nothing from people I expect to be at our side, our being ‘Me and mine’ – When someone lives with Suicidal thoughts and a whole host of other issues like M.E. (Myalgic Mencephalomyelitis) + Fibromyalgia + PTSD and Psychosis, like I do, they want to die, I want to die, but I have reasons to live more important than myself, but I would love HELP to take the burden away from loved ones who watch me suffer, we don’t want sympathy or ‘What a shame’ and I hate this I get a lot ‘I feel sorry for you Shaun, you been through too much for someone so young”, yeah that tires your soul out that one. Sadly people I know say things like “That stupid fucking blog that Shaun does” But that’s it, they DON’T HELP THE PEOPLE AROUND ME WHO SUFFER BECAUSE OF MY ILLNESS. This is not about me. Think who hurts when one is watching another die, slowly or fast, it makes no fucking difference. This World is horrible, I am suicidal, but I will MAN UP as people say about me. But it is fucking hard to take the next step, the next breath. 5am, been up for a day and a half, pain is like death, my mind is scrambled and tied to the moon. Yet people who claim to ‘Love me’ are reading SOMETHING ELSE HERE, or wishing they had a voice? #NEWSFLASH, you do have a voice. Use it or shut the fuck up. I am aware there are people FAR WORSE than myself, but this is hard, every moment is ‘How can I kill myself’, but here I am, for now anyway. Regret is ONLY regret AFTER the event ❤ Peace

~~~

♫ Dying Inside ♫
Via Shaun Gibson on You Tube

~~~

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Who do you ♫ ‘Turn Too’ ♫

In life we can ALL become selfish and think we are all alone, the only one to suffer, it can cause #Anger #Hate and #Fear, this happened to me, maybe it still is, I can never be sure. I transmit my every thought, but often here I am just sharing what I can share with you. Away from the internet ‘I turn’ to many things, music, love, helping, healing and hoping. One day at a time, one moment at a time is all I can do. The thought of ‘What about that event or party in 3 weeks’ is a feeling I just can’t do, so I stopped. I can only live RIGHT NOW. Where I get confused is, why do some make an already hard World, harder for themselves? Denying their own emotions, their own feelings. Never talking to a LIVING SOUL about how they feel, it’s TABOO to talk it seems these days, so people like me don’t fit into what ‘Society Expects’ from a grown man 😀 Pathetic or what? Sadder still I see the denial everywhere, I want to help, to speak, to hug even, but people can’t sometimes and I don’t know why. If we just ‘Say what we need to say’, then our burden is less surely? I have been traumatized so badly I can look ANYONE in the eye and see sadness or happy and all in-between. Who cares, these are just my thoughts at like 5am on a Friday morning unable to sleep and in as much pain as an Elephant giving birth maybe? 😀 I have no idea. This song is sent directly to the Heart I see most, the heart and soul that helps mine. You know who you are honey, thank you for guiding me, thank you for knowing and understanding me. Your strength is a mystery to me, but I just stand in AWE and thank God you choose me, and we ‘Turned to Each other’ – Thank you, ❤ you are my Rock. Why this song? I guess the lyrics, and a slight resemblance of ‘Something’ 🙂 #SameSongTwice #Real & #Lyrical

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Melanie C – I Turn To You [Lyrics Version]
[VIDEO] Via: raaaaaaww on You Tube

 

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Melanie C – I Turn To You [Official Version]
[VIDEO] Via: MelanieCVEVO on You Tube

~~~~

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My Experiences with panic attacks

Great blog from Paul Mcginley’s Mental Health. I suffered Panic Attacks for years, you REALLY do think you are dying. On the > right of my blog, look for http://www.foundationforpositivementalhealth.com/ A team of Dr’s who helped me stay alive. Great blog my friend. Keep tying, keep sharing. Suffering MUST have a voice. You show strength, not weakness. Always good to meet new people. We ain’t alone, you got that right, 10/10. Long read, but the right people will read. #KeepOnKeepingOn

Paul Mcginley's Mental Health

My Experiences with panic attacks

Panic attacks are horrible things. It is so sad how so many people suffer from them too. I’ve had my fair share of them in my life and it tore me to pieces. The problem with them is that they come on so rapidly and so randomly. In this blog I will talk about my experiences with panic attacks and how far I’ve came in the last 18 months.

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Suicide is not always a ‘One-off-Act’ – It’s a living thought for People

When you start reading, keep reading, THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME, YOU WILL SEE! Today is and all across Social Media today I am reading people debate it, some are talking about the way they think they understand Suicide, some are mocking the WEAKNESS of Suicide. Many say “Suicide is the Cowards way out” I disagree personally, for me the thought of Suicide is a thought of ‘Release’ but not for me, for everyone who cares for me. I can’t just get in my car and GO LIVE, I have two little girls here age 8 and 7 years old, THEY ARE MY REASON, when Suicide becomes an option. What are your reasons? Suicide is so very Taboo, some see anger, hate, depression, some just see something else. Today I come out of my closet and say “I live with Suicide every waking moment” and for me this is a small victory or release.

Leroy Sanchez; People Help The People
Via: amyarmitage1 on You Tube

I have lost too many people to suicide, I have nearly lost loved ones to Suicide, only to see other loved ones MOCK the person who tried it. Saying “How dare they” and other pathetic sayings. I say “IF YOU REALLY CARE FOR SOMEONE, THEN GO HELP THEM” Suicide comes at you with a smile, fun, funny people are suicidal. Think of anyone you know who has committed Suicide or tried, more times than not we think “WOW, I DID NOT EXPECT IT FROM THEM, THEY ARE STRONG” So I say it again, Suicide comes at you with a smile, in fun. The funniest people I know, the strongest people I know are the ones who are Suicidal, tried or dead. I see a World of people just too busy to see each other, too busy chasing the wrong emotions. Are they selfish? Hell no! How can they be if they don’t know, yet many of us do look at everyone and think “Are they Suicidal” Suicide rates have tripled in just a generation, does it matter if it is men or woman, young or old? No, life is life, it’s precious, love it and start noticing it. Or you WILL live in Regret for life. This message isn’t for me, it’s for the World, my World too. I am at one with who I am, what I do and why. I tire of trying to meet people in the middle, I tire of people chasing the wrong things. I am TRYING to chase life and happy, and I will do my best. It’s all ANY of us can do. If anyone reads this and feels ‘THIS IS AIMED AT ME’, then that emotion is yours, so do something about it, I BEG

DJXEai-XoAArgq8

I spent a LOT of time with Suicidal people, we talk, exchange ‘WHY’ and then we find solace in others. We find a way to talk about Suicide and thus giving it a voice and reason. We can’t as a species keep saying, thinking nor presuming “They want pity” or “They want Sympathy” No, we need to get our priorities in order and SEE THE TRUTH STARING AT US IN THE FACE. Regret is only regret when we allow it. I am Suicidal! Are you? Do you know anyone who is? If you know a Suicidal person, think of them, who they live with, how it impacts others the Suicidal person and those around them. Our World just looks and judges, it is now time to help, or we live LIFE in regret. Please start to help, please start to notice. The ability to talk Suicide is STRENGTH, and don’t let anyone tell you different. As always, thank you to another who helped me write this, and as always I end this blog with the same message

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WHY ISN’T THIS INFORMATION IN THE NEWS ?? – OUR WORLD IS BROKEN

[FORGET RELIGION – JUST WATCH] These 2 guys here present a video showing over 150 Countries with serious disasters, with a deadly category 5 hurricane about to smash Florida to bits, look what has happened all over the World just in 2017. The two guys in the video are RELIGIOUS, but they present SCIENCE. The video can’t be denied, the destruction can’t be denied. The Scientific World is showing us horror our TV news is not telling us. Just recently Thousands died in floods in India, yet a smaller event in the USA was ‘World News’. The 2 guys in the video show PROOF. They are Religious, they are talking Biblical Prophecy, but the Science is there too. The Weather system is BROKEN, Animals are dying off in the Millions, Animal Migrational patterns are changing, weather local to you is changing. Just watch the first 5 minutes here and you will SEE the proof. Forget God, Forget Biblical Scripture, just look what the World is showing us here. If you want to Go Religious, fine! If you just want to mute the Video and watch, you will be impacted all the same. We have written about this since maybe 2011 and it’s gotten worse. The video presented here (RELIGION ASIDE) is proof that something is wrong with our World, your World. There is SOMETHING at play here, some call it El Nino, God, unknown reasons, Science, the lists are endless as to ‘What causes all this’ – AGAIN, IF RELIGION IS NOT YOUR THING! MUTE THE 1ST VIDEO. Just watch the destruction our TV news won’t touch. Win for Alternative media here, but who listens? Global Disasters caused by Earth have steadily risen in the last few generations by huge amounts. The ability to just say “The World is annoyed” is a great statement, but by saying “The World is Angry” means ‘Something else’ right? I mean take every living thing off Earth and this means ‘The Earth is still alive’. Research yourself if you care, right now many in American think it’s the second coming of Jesus because 0.01% of Earth is about to get hit hard by a storm, yeah not too bright kids, not too bright. But if you can do ‘Internet off a phone’ and do ‘OS Based Internet’ the internet becomes something more. For those stuck on phones, this is exactly where THEY want you to be. Logical question (I KNOW) is now “Who are they”, welcome to research, having a mind that NEEDS to know, that loses sleep not knowing. Often I hate my own mind, but it thinks, and not just about myself, not even just about my own World, but the entire World. But like you, I am the cause. Irony kills!! 🙂

WHY ISN’T THIS INFORMATION IN THE NEWS ?? EVERY PERSON NEEDS TO WATCH THIS !!
[VIDEO] Via The Two Preachers on You Tube

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Worlds Worst Natural Disasters Compilation 2017
[VIDEO] Via George H on You Tube

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Year of Disasters in 2017!
[VIDEO] Via  ArCasa News on You Tube

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Since 1950, it just gets worse

The problems have doubled in 30 years. We killing this World

My 8 year old Daughter is studying this at School just now – How the Earth works

Normality – OR IS IT?

1952 to 2009, a clear rise in Natural Global Disasters. But why?

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Skype Username: shaunyg1973
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I WANT, I NEED, I WANT, I DEMAND – MONEY IS ROOT OF ‘ALL’ EVIL

My whole life I have seen Money, worse yet I have seen what money does to people, what money will make people do, people PRETENDING to love you for your money. I walked away many years ago from the ‘Money Chasers’ There is a HUGE difference between ‘Needing Money’ and ‘Chasing the illusion of Money’. I have seen blood spilled, woman hurt, families torn apart and worse because of ‘Money’. I have been poor and rich and all in-between, but I #ChooseHappy

Imagine you are poor, living in a flat somewhere with very little, struggling to pay the rent, struggling to feed your family, unable to have a big TV or fancy furnishings, unable to have a car nor pay for it’s upkeep. Well I know many like what I have just described there and they are happy, very happy. Yet I know people who make £100,000 a year or close to that amount, they are not happy. I have seen poor people get money only for it to destroy the happy they had, I have seen unhappy rich people lose it all and commit suicide, cause #Hate #Anger and #Fear in themselves and others, all over money.

The Beatles – Can’t Buy Me Love
Via TheBeatlesVEVO on You Tube

Money can buy MOMENTS, money can buy you a Wedding, a Holiday a new car, new TV, new sofa, Cable TV, Internet, you name what you want and money can buy you this, but the effects wear off, the honeymoon period ends and you are STUCK with the brain you had at the start with everything you thought you needed. I am not rich, but I am not poor, I am just happy with my lot I guess.  I have had people I love, and will keep loving actually visit people for MONEY or money reasons, people lie about it and all for money, it’s disgusting. My problem is I suffer from M.E. (Myalgic Mencephalomyelitis) + Fibromyalgia + PTSD and Psychosis and this may be the drugs or/and illness talking, or maybe I am having a moment of self-reflection, I can never tell, BUT MONEY CAN’T MAKE ME BETTER. But if you are reading this and you know me, and I know you, and we don’t talk to people because of Money or can’t admit WHAT YOU DO OR DID FOR MONEY, I ask you stay away from me and mine, because I actually know the harm money can do to everyone. I know people who won the lottery BIG!! Over £10 Million, they are now poor. I know people who won £1 Million and again they are again poor. They thought ‘Money’ could change the life they had, in most cases people came running to them when they knew they had money, only to leave them when the money was gone, I could share MANY stories, we all could if we were honest enough. I used to chase money, but I should have known better, I hate people who chase money, but AGAIN, the NEED for Money is different from Chasing Money

Love and happy can’t be bought for life, happy can be bought for a moment, short moment or long moment, but money can’t buy the joy of having Children, can’t buy love, can’t heal people with bad health. I had a sibling who had Cancer when I was a kid, there was a LOT of Money there yet no amount of money could save this person from Cancer, but they are still here, the drugs worked, the money was useless, I could share 100 stories. Look at what our Governments do for money and we all agree ‘It’s Sickening’, yet how many reading this chase money or know others who chase money? I found ‘Happy’ and be me poor or rich today or tomorrow, I stay happy. I was taught by both my parents to lose 3 emotions, I don’t know if they meant it, but they sure did, #Hate, #Fear and #Anger, when we lose these 3 emotions, WE LIVE, WE ARE FREE FROM EMOTIONS THAT CAUSE DISFUNCTION IN ALL AND ANY WAY. That is all. As always thank you to the person who helped me do this blog, typing is difficult, clarity of mind is very hard, so having the right people around YOU is key to Happy

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Skype Username: shaunyg1973
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Hurricane Irma – Differences between category 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 hurricanes [video] #WOW

Hurricane Irma from the ISS


Astonishing video from The Weather Channel regarding Hurricane Irma. We live in Scotland and there is a saying here called “We get all 4 seasons in 1 day” and we do. But Hurricane Season on the Eastern Seaboard of the USA is something I am personally glad I don’t have to cope with. To everyone in it’s path you are in our thoughts. This could actually go to a Category 6 Hurricane if reports are true. Just look at the destruction a category 1 hurricane can do then the video shows category 2, 3, 4 and 5, it is TOTAL destruction. An SOS Alert because Hurricane Irma has JUST been sent from The Caribbean Islands

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[VIDEO] – US Helicopters Airlifts ISIS Members From Eastern Syria

At the bottom of ALL Blogs I used to do including this one are MORE of the same. Many of us for years have tried to tell the World that “ISIS IS FUNDED BY THE WEST” The USA, UK, Israel and others. This #DarkWeb material in terms of content. Believe it or don’t believe it. At the very bottom of this are 3 more blogs regarding the same story. Also to the right is ‘Search’, go ahead and use the research we did here on on Ace News Services and other places where WE PROVED ISIS are funded by the West to protect US/British interests and these interests include Israel. As always, dismiss or go research yourself, or just refuse to not care. BUT YOU PAY TO HELP ISIS, YOU DO. But you can care for your own World or care for THE WORLD. I have made my choice.

US Helicopters Airlifts ISIS Members
Via: 5 star channel On You Tube

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Via: https://newspunch.com/

The US has reportedly airlifted a number of ISIS militants near the eastern Syrian city of Dayr al-Zawr, where Syrian troops are closing in on the terrorists.

The Syrian Observatory for Human Rights reported that two US helicopters conducted the operation on Thursday morning, taking four ISIS members and a civilian from a house that had been used as an arms depot.

Press TV reports:

According to the report, the five people transferred during the operation included a foreign bomb expert, three Egyptian Daesh members and a civilian.

Witnesses found shaved hair of the five individuals near the area, the observatory said, adding that after airlifting the Daesh members, troops blew up the arms depot.

The US and its allies have been conducting airstrikes against what are said to be Daesh targets inside Syria since September 2014 without any authorization from the Damascus government or a UN mandate.

The military alliance has repeatedly been accused of targeting and killing civilians. It has also been largely incapable of fulfilling its declared aim of destroying Daesh.

The US has long been accused of colluding with Daesh to provide safe passage and logistic support to the members of the Takfiri group in conflict zones.

In June, the commander of the Russian forces in Syria, Colonel General Sergei Surovikin, accused US-led forces in Syria of colluding with the Daesh leaders who surrender the areas under their control and head to provinces where Syrian government forces operate.

The Russian commander also criticized Washington for trying to block Syrian government forces from taking control of the country’s southern border.

Political observers warn that the US is using Daesh to create chaos in the Middle East and pursue Israel’s plan to change the Middle East map by disintegrating the regional countries.

~~End Story~~

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Why Do Popular, Attractive, and Talented People Commit Suicide? – Chester Bennington

Chester Bennington

At the foot of this blog are more blogs about Suicide I used to cover when I blogged, this is not me starting to blog again, I needed help to write most of this. But it’s a subject that needs talked about. Remember everyone ‘Regret is only regret when we allow regret to be the ever-lasting emotion’. The reality of Suicide and the recent death of Linkin Park lead singer Chester Bennington is he was RICH, FAMOUS, FUNNY! Everything most people want to be, yet here he is SPEAKING ABOUT HIS MIND, something he did a lot. In the interview in the video at the foot of this page the TRIGGERS of suicide were there for all to see, yet here we are again asking “Could we have done more”, and this leads to the question “Why is this still so Taboo”? Never is there an intervention, always regret and that is so sad. One song from MANY done by Linking Park and sung by Chester was ‘Rolling in the Deep’ a cover song done by Adele, not a song you would ever expect Chester to take on, yet he did and he nailed it. I will share 4 videos here, 2 songs and 2 videos of Chester as the man we knew away from being rich, famous, liked, loved more

Rolling In The Deep Cover Chester Bennington
Via Numael Roldan on You Tube

Behind all the sadness we MUST see the fun side of people. Chester said in the video at the top “When I am alone with my mind “It is like I should not be there, and Music is my ONLY escape” And I say these exact words about Music to ANYONE who will listen to my ranting. Chester found his stage to OUT his demons, but sadly it wasn’t enough. So I leave you with the good memory of another person LEFT ALONE with people guessing before and after he killed himself. Celebrate the life, but ask “How can we get this Taboo gone and help people” I myself think “Suicide” from time to time as it’s part of my ongoing circumstances that WE ALL HAVE, but in me saying this, does it help? Answer, no! I would be called pathetic and weak and bad as I have kids and loved ones. But Chester was a fun lad, here is the proof

Chester Bennington – Unforgettable Funny Moments
Via Sarah_Lia on You Tube

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Below is what Linkin Park did, this is the type of songs they sung, they were amazing

In The End (Official Video) – Linkin Park
Via Linkin Park on You Tube

In this video from an interview in Feb ’17 shows Chester Bennington expressing his cries for help. Hindsight is 20/20. At the time the interviewer and fans alike joked at his comments. Looking back, it’s clearly not a joking matter. Mental illness is a very serious issue, that is not to be over looked. It can take all forms. People you know may be going through similar situations. So next time you have someone pour their heart out to you, really listen to what they are saying. It may be a cry for help….. This is not a promo for WakingUpDad or WakingUpDad.net …. I am simply posting this as a long time fan of Chester and the group Linkin Park. I am just as shocked as everyone else and searching for answers as to why. In the video he clearly is telling us. We just didn’t listen. RIP Chester Bennington. You will be missed. Prayers to his family, wife and kids.

Chester Bennington’s cry for HELP! Linkin Park
Via Waking Up Dad on You Tube

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2 minutes of your time to complete! It is Anti Bullying/Suicide Survey

As Ian Duncan Smith causes ATOS Suicides, MP’s spend Millions on Ipad’s and Laptops

How Benefit Sanctions Have Driven UK to Suicide

If You Do One Thing Today – Share this, You Will Be Saving A Life #SuicideHotlines

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Skype Username: shaunyg1973
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