Please Do Not Forget Me…………

SO not the best of headlines, but YES it was click-bait 😀 Just watched a 3 part TV show on channel 5 called ‘Celebs In Solitary‘ – Really got me thinking about ‘Solitude’ and how I have basically been in solitary myself, against my own will now for the best part of 15 years. NO SYMPATHY OR I WILL SHOOT YOU ALL 🙂 None of that. Was an amazing 3 Part TV show you can get on 5 Catch-up here in the UK. 4 People went in, London-born rapper Professor Green, World’s Strongest Man Eddie Hall, comedian Shazia Mirza and TV presenter Anthea Turner, all went in for 5 days, amazing programme on the Human mind if you care to watch it. For me it made me ask “COULD I DO THIS” The obvious answer from a medical point of view is ‘NO’ But from a psychological point of view, I think I could.

This show I could identify with easily. Stuck in a small place with only your mind to think. I live in agony. so what, my mind is always in some state of pretend in terms of funny, depressed and everything in-between. I am a STRONG LAD, I know my strengths and weaknesses for sure, do you? I know my limits, I know where I can and can’t be. Example I couldn’t sit in a room with 20 strangers, but I could sit on a stage and talk to 10,000 people, EASY!! And I could sing to 20,000 people EASY. I often sit in a Dr’s office and other ‘Social places’ and just don’t look up, head in my phone ‘JUST INCASE’ someone triggers me. I am not a safe person to be around when triggered, so I don’t be social, IT’S THAT SIMPLE. With the right people, kids, parents, partner, certain family and friends, NOT A PROBLEM. But stick me in an environment I can’t control and I can lose the plot. I am NOT A SCARED PERSON, but I am NOT sitting here typing ‘I am a hard fighting person either’ –  As I typed above, I know who I am am, where I am, and I have became comfy with it sadly. I say sadly because you DO GET COMFY LOCKED UP. I love being around my Kids, it’s a HAPPY PLACE. My Grand-kids too when I can. Give me a comfy zone and I can relax, my mind has learnt to just be myself. To give you an example of the Danger I can be, I could give you 100 different stories. Recently my partner and two Daughters 9 and 8 years old went to a local store to pick up furniture from a shop, the person at the till working said something, I drifted from smiling to EVIL LOOK….Then my 9 year old Daughter stood in-front of me, pulled my coat, I looked down, she was smiling saying ‘You ok Daddy’ – In a heartbeat I realized about 20 other people waiting to be served had noticed my reaction, I looked around, some winked as to say ‘I can understand why you nearly lost it‘ and others looked away. The guy behind the till was serving a woman and child in-front of us, and he was talking to the woman like she was shit on a shoe, so I put my head in and said to this ‘MAN’ “Mate go easy on her yeah” – He then lifted his head and said “Mind your own business” – I LOST IT, I started at him with Death in my eyes, I was ready to talk to him, to react. My Daughter saved me, but our Kids are our reasons, they do save us, they don’t know it, but they do. In reality I spend LOTS of my time in my Man-Cave , door closed and left alone, it’s not healthy, my Dr, psychologists and pain specialists all tell me “GET OUT MORE” – Easier said than done, as I say I know my own boundaries, I can control them in a room whilst alone, am I happy. FUCK YEAH. If like anyone reading this I accept the SHIT PART OF LIFE AS NORMAL, that is a road to nowhere, so remaining positive helps us all, please keep trying, don’t give in, find reason, finds reasons, find something to do. I used to blog 2 or 3 times a day WITH HELP but I stopped because I found singing, music helped me more, and of course my kids and anyone else who I love.

My Man-Cave

To sum up, WE ALL SUFFER, WE ALL HAVE SOMETHING HOLDING US BACK, WE CAN ALL REACH UNHAPPY, WE CAN ALL FIND PAIN…IF WE LOOK. I look and it’s a concept of the Human mind I have no control over, so I control what I can and leave things I can’t, it’s me being honest, 100% totally honest. I found being HONEST is a saving Grace to us all. I was a liar, a cheat, the worst version of me I could be. I was a broken man, today I am still a broken man, but I control the broken parts best I can. Giving up just isn’t IN MY BLOOD. My kids send me songs all the time, this one SAVED ME ONE DAY. I ask nobody for anything these days, I know for loved ones and friends they might be thinking “Does he like me or love me”, the answer is OF COURSE I DO. But I am respecting YOU by respecting my boundaries. Thank you for reading, and please REACH BACK if you are honest enough to feel you need to reach. Here I am just reaching to people who may be stuck in an emotion they can’t control. PLEASE REACH BACK

Shauny x

♫ LYRICS ♫
Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can’t
It isn’t in my blood
Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing
I’m overwhelmed and insecure, give me something
I could take to ease my mind slowly
Just have a drink and you’ll feel better
Just take her home and you’ll feel better
Keep telling me that it gets better
Does it ever?
Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough
Someone help me
I’m crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can’t
It isn’t in my blood
It isn’t in my blood
I’m looking through my phone again, feeling anxious
Afraid to be alone again, I hate this
I’m trying to find a way to chill, can’t breathe, oh
Is there somebody who could
Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough
Someone help me
I’m crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can’t
It isn’t in my blood
It isn’t in my blood
I need somebody now
I need somebody now
Someone to help me out
I need somebody now
Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can’t
It isn’t in my blood
It isn’t in my blood
It isn’t in my blood
I need somebody now
It isn’t in my blood
I need somebody now
It isn’t in my blood

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Skype Username: shaunyg1973
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My Personal Recovery – We can all recover – Reach out – We are here for you all

This CAN be true for many

So, recovery is the title, and it’s a slight lie. Today, 19th August 2018 I am in a slightly better place than I was when I wrote this for example. Finally in the ‘Mental Health’ System – LONG, HARD, ROAD AHEAD – I SEE HOPE!

My Last blog about this topic from back in April 23rd 2018

That blog above was my last blog about these issues we all suffer from, be it us or other we love or call friends. The last blog I done regarding our shared mental health issues, pain, suffering, depression, whatever is holding us all back is something I used to share every day. I had this belief that ‘Talking out is helping’ – The more I awaken from the mental distress I caused others via taking less Opiate based drugs, the more I see clearly that some of the things I did write over the years all the way back to 2011 were voices I had no control over. For me to sit and read my own words back shows me how awful I was. But like most I am not cured, I am not out of the woods. I think I have came to accept what is wrong with me, but more important, learnt to not throw my issues onto those I love. After all, we ALL have a Recovery story don’t we?

James Arthur – Recovery
Via: James Arthur on You Tube

GOD I MISS THIS!!

Along my journey I have become a soldier of war same as most, fighting for my Partner, my kids and other loved ones. What I see today is a FAMILY OF PEOPLE WHO CARE. Recently I was invited to start doing a Podcast on Football by 2 amazing lads. The Podcast is about Celtic FC and it’s called the Pod Black Brimmer. Spreaker and Itunes by the way 🙂 The UTTER abuse thrown at me from loved ones and friends here in Edinburgh for being part of a Podcast with THAT title is funny to be fair, but I am clever enough to understand, won’t stop me doing the podcast however 😀 I love my Celtic. Those who know me know I don’t hate, I am an Edinburgh lad exposed to the same life we all have been exposed too just in a different place, but to the 2 lads Brian and Davie who gave me a chance to show myself I can sit in my Man-Cave alone and talk Football, I can’t thank them enough. I suffer with 6 Disabilities, Suicidal thoughts, M.E. (Myalgic Mencephalomyelitis) + Fibromyalgia + PTSD + Agoraphobia and Psychosis and yeah IT’S HARD and the medication is harmful, but we must take these tablets and potions to stay level, do I agree with drug consumption to help us? Not really, but I don’t drink Alcohol. I see Alcohol as a legal, socially acceptable way to lose the feelings we feel, so each to their own, I just see Alcohol as a damaging liquid, just an observation through my own journey. I am not a scared person, I am aware these issues make me honest to a level I could be harmful to others, I cannot control these feelings, so I MANAGE my life along with my Amazing partner who I have known since age 14 and been with since age 17, she is my everything, my rock ❤ I don’t do these Podcasts or blogs to be a wee Snowflake or feel all special, no, it’s me sitting in a room alone talking about what I loved to do, and miss still to this day, Football, yeah I miss the Touchline, changing room, the chance to be social and all that comes with working with kids and adults in Football. NOTHING in Football can be done alone, it’s a Team game, no matter what your involvement is, you need others to carry and help you along the way. So I MUST thank Brian and Davie for noticing I was ready, and also everyone who loves me and who I love back x

Before we can even start to recover to a state of existence, first we MUST find reason. For me personally my reasons were easy. My Kids, my beautiful amazing partner, my Mum, Sisters, Brother, nieces and nephews with others and definitely friends. Lads I have known since I was a kid when my Dad used to run businesses and shops all over Edinburgh, all older than me, lol. Most of my Friends are older than me, so rooond you all, it’s great to be the youngest 😀 They all rip me brilliantly, make fun of me, but I do the same to them, IT’S A HEALTHY THING, and if any of you are reading. Do Remember!! One: Clerry Jungle and Two: Yous are Dicks 😀 Joking aside, my reasons were as simple as yours, because I know YOU struggle sometimes too. The game of Life is very simple for me. I say ‘LIFE IS HARD – SO DON’T MAKE IT WORSE FOR YOURSELF’ – Personally I believe if we start there with that saying, it’s a good start, we ain’t making things worse.

Linkin Park – Somewhere I Belong
Via: Linkin Park on You Tube

Sadly like you I suffer. The pain is horrific and my mind has thoughts I have to battle every moment. Managing THIS I can’t do alone. First and foremost my partner has helped me, guided me, taught me and keeps doing so. My 2 sons too help me, 2 amazing lads who are amazing men with loving partners and are Dads themselves with two little kids, a wee boy and a wee girl just waiting on their GAGA to jump into their lives. When the time is right, life will allow it, I pray this is true. The harm and hurt I have caused others is an issue I must get past and find a way to find hope and live. Suicide is a thought, also an act, but first a living breathing thought.

Depression #FuckDepression!!! is a darkness most have, some higher than others, but suffering is suffering. I used to think I had it worse, but I was 32 or something then 😀 Here I am just turned 45 and I have found ‘Comfort in Home’ has been a huge thing for me, the only down side is due to my Disabilities, like you, like anyone, our home can become a comfort zone we don’t want to escape. Recently I restarted singing lessons to start a Chester Bennington Tribute act and it’s on hold for a few months due to circumstances, but I can’t wait to get back to the freedom of Music. Look down the right hand side of this page, songs and images. Music saves us, it unites our souls where we can co-exist on ANY LEVEL. With UTTER RESPECT Politics, Politicians, Religion, Sport and the WORST CULPRIT! Money, that divides us. We do need money, but if all we are doing is chasing Money and the NEED to consume with money, all we are doing is buying moments of happiness. Trust me, I am an expert at this 😀 For now that is it. I am no harm, how can I be with two little Girls who call me Daddy around me? How can I be anything other than my Daughters best friend, because I am, we are pals, we laugh, we cry, we sing. They are my first reason. Two little fun girls who don’t know they saved me, and might never know. Again, and I say this on Facebook a lot, why don’t we listen to our Kids more. Even if you don’t have kids, go and spend time with the blank canvas that a child can be, an innocence so amazing it can only be loving fun.

Some leave clues to sadness and pain, if we look and listen, we can be helped

Often in life our very saving Grace can be right in-front of us. All we need to do is listen, and we can be helped. Not saved or cured, just helped. That is my story, I don’t want notoriety or hits, nor do I need to be liked by anyone, I am loved and liked by people already, but do feel free to become a friend, I find it hard to let people in, but so do you maybe? Trust must be earned. So I am reaching out, if you want to reach back, I am here. Be kind to others, and please remember to include yourself friends, be kind to you too x

Chester Bennington – One More light
Via:

Linkin Park on You Tube

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Skype Username: shaunyg1973
Shaun Celtic FC Twitter: @ShaunyCeltic

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Blackford: Brexit a “Clear road map towards a second independence referendum”

IF you waste around £300 a year on newspapers that make you angry because of the lies, why pay to fuel the lie? I ask everyone to forget the lies and focus on the truth. The National is THE TRUTH of the Scottish voice. At some stage we MUST turn away from the lies, stop funding the lies, and our differences in ‘How Scotland will be free’ and just all get along till we are there. EGO of people can and does hold Countries back. What holds Scotland back are the lies. The National tells the truth, please buy it daily or subscribe here for online reads every day here, lets fund the truth so we can hear and read the truth: https://www.thenational.scot/

I will keep my own opinions short so you the reader can read the story from the National below. Again all we know is below, and all we should know is Freedom is a POSSIBILITY, and one we will have to fight for. Don’t wait on them telling you what to do, and I mean EVERY Politician and Political Party, we the Scottish people are marching in amazing numbers, lets keep this going. Those like me who just can’t get to any march, we have a duty to share the truth, so that is all I am ever going to do. If you have EGO, please stop reading now. I am not here for hits or views, I am here for the sake of our Country. EGO will destroy us. The Vow and the Edinburgh agreement were what Scottish people voted for in 2014, we are having our voices controlled and edited. Lets reclaim our human rights today and set a standard because as we have seen, many voices outwith Scottish borders, Globally are starting to speak for Scottish Freedom Fighters. Don’t let the liars have a word, they are noise, learn to ignore it. Or ignore me and be with EGO. I want Freedom for the same reasons as you, so lets join today. We are all one, lets not divide ourselves. I will share this in 30 places, sadly about 10 don’t share my blog, this is the EGO I am speaking about. We become one and fight, or we stand alone with EGO. Peace out, Shaun

Alba Gu Brath

Via: National Newsdesk

Link for paid subscribers: https://www.thenational.scot/subscribe/

THE SNP has an “open ear” to a potential second referendum on the UK’s membership of the European Union, the party’s Westminster leader has said.

Ian Blackford said that while the SNP’s priority was making sure Scotland could stay in the single market and customs union, the party was “watching developments” over the prospect of another EU vote.

He said a hard Brexit would signal a “clear road map towards a second independence referendum that for me would be the priority”.

“Our priority is to make sure that we can stay in the single market and the customs union,” he said. “We haven’t been arguing for a second EU referendum, we’re of course watching developments as far as that is concerned. We’re not in all circumstances diametrically opposed to that – we have an open ear to developments on that front – but for us it’s the priority of staying in the single market and the customs union that’s most important.”

He added: “I think it is clear that if we’re out the single market and the customs union there is a massive threat to our economy, to jobs, to prosperity and I would say on that basis that there is a clear road map towards a second independence referendum that for me would be the priority.”

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EU Diplomats reveal Boris Johnson said ‘f**k business’ over Brexit fears

Full story below, and If this isn’t enough to make the wealthy in Scotland and around the UK re-think Brexit, I don’t know what will. This an article by National Newsdesk 

It is damning as it is provocative towards the business structure of both Scotland and the UK as a whole. The SNP know he said it, Europe knows he said it, Ireland knows he said it, and they are about to show this Tory party what power WE DO HAVE. Three blogs ago I decided to come back to this story because I was told ‘Now is the time Shaun’ – The very next day the SNP Members in Westminster walked out in what I hear was a ‘Scripted’ act that was known by more than 1 side. The speaker broke one huge rule in denying SNP Westminster leader Ian Blackford a sit in private to debate this awful power grab. The speaker knew the rules, watch the video again and you will see him being told what to do. This (ALLEGEDLY) was scripted. I think the British Political Structure knows the Union is in dissolve mode and they are trying to blame everyone for the coming collapse. Brexit, if you didn’t already know is SUICIDE for the UK Economy, Theresa May knows it, Labour know it, Tory party members alike know it, and you can bet your last £1 the SNP were PRAYING the speaker followed through on ejecting Mr Blackford from the chamber for asking for a DEMOCRATIC right to speak in private about the power grab. The video is below, it is ILLEGAL, and everyone knows. Me writing about this the day before was on ASSURED words from 3 sources that ‘There is an agreement in place, over disagreement’

Scottish National Party walk out of Commons in protest
Via Channel 4 News on You Tube

Now is our time Scotland, brace for impact, the apron wearers will take to the streets, we MIGHT have to fight them, but it’s a fight we must take on. This isn’t speculation, this is based on the 2014 NO VOTE and these same people taking to the streets in TRIUMPH by beating up their own. Scottish Nationals beaten in the streets by British National Neanderthals. I have had the threats from these people, and I do expect them to come again. Know my back is covered here. I am not speculating, I am sharing what YOU ALREADY KNOW, they know, Europe knows. The Union is falling. Freedom is a matter of time, but it will come at a Butchers Shop cost. Main Stream Media people are being SHUT UP as I shared yesterday, read it again if you have not. Brexit means England will stand alone, Ireland will be united and Scotland will be a nation again. Silence of Scottish voices won’t last long, and FINALLY, yet sadly, money losses will probably be what frees Scotland from this Capitalistic Tory Government and Boris Johnson saying what we already know or thought. This time, we have people OUTSIDE Scotland ready to back us. This will get messy, but hold Scotland…HOLD!!

Alba Gu Brath

VIA: http://www.thenational.scot/

BORIS Johnson is caught up in yet another diplomatic scandal, after he was reported to have said “fuck business” when asked about fears over Brexit.

EU diplomats have expressed their shock and disgust at the comments, which they say came during a Foreign Office reception last week celebrating the Queen‘s Birthday.

Asked about the fears business leaders had over Brexit, Johnson replied: “Fuck business.”

Johnson, who was speaking to Rudolf Huygelen, Belgium’s ambassador to the EU, was overheard saying they would fight Theresa May‘s soft Brexit “and win”.

He also said the UK was as divided as it had been since the English Civil War.

Sources close to Johnson are reported to have disputed the claim he swore, and said he was attacking “vested interests” of groups like the Confederation of British Industry.

Speaking to the Telegraph, an EU diplomat said: “It is shocking for him declare he would take the battle directly to Theresa May and speaking so openly about it. He wasn’t hiding his intentions at all.

“I was shocked by how crude and crass he was, as if he didn’t care for the consequences and especially not the economic consequences of Brexit.”

The paper reported that another, when presented with the comments, simply replied: “Jesus Christ.”

SNP MP Ivan McKee said: “These reported comments tell you all you need to know about Boris Johnson and his ilk within the Tory party. It’s ego and self-interest first, while people’s jobs and livelihoods are on the line.

“A Foreign Secretary with this level of contempt for Scottish business is clearly unfit for the job.

“Sadly this is becoming par for the course for the Tories, who think they can do what they want to Scotland and get away with it.

“The SNP will stand firm in seeking to protect people’s livelihoods from a hard Brexit, and continue to make the case for Scotland remaining within the Single Market and Customs Union. We won’t roll over and let the Tories tank our economy.

“Nor will we stand idly by as they use Brexit as a cover to grab powers from our Scottish Parliament and undermine devolution.”

It comes as Johnson urges the Prime Minister to deliver a “full British Brexit” as Cabinet colleagues warn the UK is able to walk away without a deal.

International Trade Secretary Liam Fox said the UK was not “bluffing” about being prepared to walk away from talks with Brussels, and Brexit Secretary David Davis said there is “lots going on” to prepare in case negotiations collapse.

Meanwhile, Foreign Secretary Johnson said people would not tolerate a “bog roll Brexit” that was “soft, yielding and seemingly infinitely long”.

Their remarks were published on Saturday, the second anniversary of 2016’s EU referendum. Thousands of pro-EU marchers have begun a walk from Pall Mall to Parliament to demand a referendum on the terms of Brexit two years on from the vote.

The ministers’ comments prompted criticism from Siemens UK chief executive Juergen Maier, who said they were “incredibly unhelpful” and said it was time to work for a more pragmatic deal with the EU.

He told BBC Radio 4’s Today that the firm wanted a soft Brexit with “minimum friction”, saying the Government had presided over “two years of not having achieved what we were promised, which is that this was all going to be easy”.

He said: “I think the realities are setting in and I think it is time to get away from slogans, ‘full British Brexit’, ‘going into combat with Europe’.

“It’s all incredibly unhelpful and what we need to do now is to get closer with our European partners and work out what a realistic, pragmatic Brexit is that works for both sides, the EU and ourselves.”

Meanwhile, research by the Centre for European Reform (CER) think tank indicated Brexit had already made the UK economy 2.1% weaker than it would have been if voters had decided to stay in the EU.

Dr Fox said it is “essential” the EU “understands… and believes” the Prime Minister’s assertion that no deal would be better than a bad deal.

He said the threat had “added credibility because if we were to leave, the economic impact on a number of European countries would be severe”.

“I think our negotiating partners would not be wise if they believed that the Prime Minister was bluffing,” he said.

Davis said that Britain was “able to leave without a deal”.

“We don’t want to do that, never have. The best option is leaving with a good deal but you’ve got to be able to walk away from the table,” he said.

Rejecting claims the Government has failed to make adequate preparations for a no-deal Brexit, he told the paper: “There’s lots going on, we haven’t made it public for very simple reasons.

“This is a careful process, it is not designed to scare the horses to worry people, it is designed to get the work done.”

The Brexit Secretary cited planning on migration matters and health standards, as well as treatment available to Britons in Europe.

“Work is going on all these things for both the negotiated outcome and if something goes wrong.”

Their comments in interviews to mark two years since the British people voted to leave the European Union were made before Airbus warned it could be forced to pull out of the UK if there was a “no deal” Brexit.

Katherine Bennett, Airbus’s senior vice president in the UK, said: “We don’t deal in idle threats. We seriously believe a no-deal Brexit would be catastrophic.”

Writing in the Sun, Johnson said the public were keen to get on with breaking away from Brussels.

“Across the country I find people who – whatever they voted two years ago – just want us to get on and do it,” he said.

“They don’t want a half-hearted Brexit. They don’t want some sort of hopeless compromise, some perpetual pushme-pullyou arrangement in which we stay half-in and half-out in a political no man’s land – with no more ministers round the table in Brussels and yet forced to obey EU laws.

“They don’t want some bog roll Brexit, soft, yielding and seemingly infinitely long.

“They want this Government to fulfil the mandate of the people and deliver a full British Brexit.”

But organisers of the People’s Vote march expect tens of thousands of people to show their support for a referendum on the final Brexit outcome.

Marchers will descend on Parliament Square, where speakers will include LibDem leader Sir Vince Cable, Tory former minister Anna Soubry, Labour’s David Lammy and Green co-leader Caroline Lucas.

Cable is expected to say Brexit is not a “done deal” or inevitable and can be stopped.

“Parliament is fiddling at the margins while the country slowly burns,” he is expected to warn as he calls on the Government to vote on the deal, or no deal, with the option of staying in the EU.

The CER estimate of a 2.1% smaller economy than if the UK had voted to remain in the EU is equivalent to a knock-on hit of £23 billion a year to the public finances, some £440 million a week.

CER deputy director John Springford said: “Two years on from the referendum, we now know that the Brexit vote has seriously damaged the economy.”

THIS IS THE NAIL IN THE COFFIN SURELY!!!

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Brexit means England will stand alone, Ireland will be united and Scotland will be a nation again

Fidelma Cook.

I am sharing this as many can’t read from the source:

http://www.heraldscotland.com/

NOT that long ago I wrote about living with a constant low-lying swirl of rage and irritability. It was, of course, to do with Brexit and, if anything, it has got worse, becoming a silent scream of impotent angst.

You may say, rightly, that I have too much time on my hands to scour the internet, read all the papers, tune in to Parliament live, and you’re probably quite right.

Two English friends, in favour of Brexit although living in France, were here the other day and, in different circumstances, it could have come to blows.

I am beyond rational discussion in the face of ignorance, for that is what I hear when confronted with tired cliches, demolished week after week.

In fact I am beyond stating a case for staying within the EU; if anyone cannot see beyond the charlatans peddling a right wing coup, then hell mend them.

Give me one, just one, positive case for leaving the EU and I will listen to you. Hello? Anyone there? No, because there isn’t one.

I am beyond being calm, measured, understanding. I have no empathy with those who are set on a course to destroy their own country in the ludicrous terms of ‘sovereignty, taking back control, will of the people.’

Usually when on a rant, I semi-apologise that I am viewing all through a telescope from another country.

And it’s true, as I’ve said time after time; I’m no longer linked into the nuances, the pub talk, the flow of the country I left behind.

I’m not in tune, or discussion, with the many people I knew or met daily or listened to in overheard chats, overheated arguments.

I admit I sit, a silent watcher, crouched over a Mac, trying to make sense and gather thoughts via social media and websites.

But today I’m not apologising any more. Life ‘back there’ doesn’t cease because one lives in La France Profonde. If anything it intensifies.

Particularly when Brexit is about to destroy so many lives in this/your country, and the one that is mine now for the immigrants who have made it so.

Distance, the telescope, whatever, actually casts the cold eye and makes one sit back in shock at all that is taking place.

Distance makes me appalled and saddened, deeply saddened, at a Press that is often partisan, not forensically detached.

Distance makes me pick over every argument and find the Brexiteers not only wanting, but shameless in their headlong rush to create a lie.

This week I watched live as Parliament ‘debated’ the amendments sent back from the Lords. Debated? Hardly, with two days to do so.

Perhaps after all my years here I have become a little foreign – a little questioning in my appreciation of democracy in action.

During the first devolution debate I reported for the BBC from the Palace of Westminster. That is a tale to be told for another day, but let me say I was shocked and often disgusted by all I witnessed there.

When, with instinctive journalistic verve I wanted to report certain facts, I was warned off in no uncertain terms. Told that was how things were.

And told that I couldn’t expect airtime and not to be so naïve about life in the House.

A touch enthralled about being in the centre of power I acquiesced and convinced myself that my nightly Reporting Scotland reports were honest at least. And they were.

I closed my eyes to the rest.

So, I was not surprised in a way to watch the jeering and hissing over the amendments that came before the House last week.

That’s what they do, although, since the introduction of cameras, they have become a touch more circumspect.

And then, we had the non-discussion of Scotland’s devolved powers and an arrogance and disdain that led to a walkout.

I have said, many times, in this column that I do not feel it right to discuss Scottish politics.

But there comes a moment.

I found the disrespect in the House towards Scotland and its representatives beyond all acceptable behaviour. And, like many commentators I believe that was the day the fight for independence took a giant leap forward.

On display was all the contempt that England has shown over and over again to its neighbours. Some of the statements made about Ireland and its border issue have been breathtaking in the ignorance and insensitivity of those making them.

By the end of this debacle England will stand alone, Ireland will be united and Scotland will be a nation again.

I hold no political allegiances, have never and will never take membership in any party, but were I in Scotland and asked to vote in an independence referendum, I would not hesitate.

While the English Government peddles hate and closed doors, all I see coming from Scotland is inclusion and social care.

I see a country looking to a future, a future in Europe, not a past founded on race memories of a colonial shame.

And I would say cut yourself loose – run for the hills while you can. The ship is sinking but you don’t have to go down with it.

The time has come

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Skype Username: shaunyg1973
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An Independent Scotland is happening – SNP Haters, Freedom Haters – Deal With It!!

I made a decision about 2 years ago to stop blogging about a free Scotland, because the timing was not right, the landscape was not aligned to its values, and the EGO of people was making me tear my hair out. Only recently I had ANOTHER argument with a Scottish Freedom Fighter who was EGO. He took to the stage in Glasgow during the march and spoke; he had his stage, and presumed he was important. HE IS IMPORTANT, but he is no more or less important than you or I who also want a Free Scotland. We must be one, and I can say with hand on heart “A FREE SCOTLAND IS GOING TO HAPPEN AS I PREDICTED” Scotland will be free and Independent by the year 2020, you can take that to the bank, in-fact you can take it to the newly formed Scottish Bank started by the SNP. One of my last blogs I thought the year 2020 would be our Freedom year, and then I doubted, now I KNOW it is coming. A reminder before you read the rest below

June 28th 2015: #IndyRef2 – 2020 ‘Vision#ShaunyNews Copyright ©

Today the stars have aligned, the motion of a forward together Scotland is visible and there for all to see. There will be no Rape Clause in Scotland. Our amazing Scottish National Health System is untouchable. Nobody in Scotland will pay the Bedroom Tax. Carers will get more money; Disabled people will be treated fairly with honesty there if applicable. Tuition fees remain free and they are to go up. So to all you Scottish people who hate the SNP, I have some Questions:

  1. Do you or anyone you know in Scotland pay the Bedroom Tax
  2. Do you or anyone you know in Scotland pay for Prescriptions
  3. Do you or anyone you know in Scotland pay for Education?

There are many things Scottish born people who dislike the SNP take. Yeah they take the freebies and hate Scotland at the same time. Do you know freeloading Scottish people? Sad pathetic selfish people who take all the free things Scotland gives yet give us History lessons as to why they don’t like the SNP. We must with a peaceful mind point out all those in Scotland who take the freebies and ask “Then why do you hate being Scottish, why do you hate the SNP”


Scotland is standing up, the marches are getting bigger, we no longer need the MSM to show us what we already know, we have woken up, we have stood up, we have became less selfish and we are becoming a better Scotland while the SNP and Scottish Government prepare our amazing Scotland for Independence. Make no mistake, behind the scenes the SNP along with others is setting up the framework for an Independent Scotland ready to trade GLOBALLY! Forget Europe, Scotland can and will trade globally. Many see Europe as a means to hate a Free Scotland with comments like “Why trade being owned by Westminster for being owned by Europe” – Yeah! This confuses me too.

This is our time

This is our moment

This is our land

The time is now

We are finally ready to be free, and we will be.

I said I would not write about Independence till I could see it happening. Friends and family who read this, TRUST ME, this is happening. Freedom is coming to Scotland, and there isn’t a thing Westminster can do. We are too strong now, we have had enough of Austerity, we have argued with each other over trivial points to the stage we have stopped. We are finally ready to go forward into the WORLD and within Europe with the tools we need.

Get Ready Scotland. It is coming faster than most could ever believe

Shaun

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13 Reasons Why – Taboo Subjects

Mental Health, TV Show, Impact, Young Adults, Kids, Social Media, Bullying, Bullies, Shock, Suicide, Self Harm, Trust, Friendship, Ego, Adults not looking, Kids in Despair and many more TABOO issues were in this show I just finished watching. 2 Seasons about a Girl committing Suicide, and the after-math left at the shock, guilt and regret of others, is pretty much the ‘Reasons Why’ this TV show should make us pay attention to each other. But please keep reading and I will explain best I can WHO we should pay more attention to, and our REASONS, this might surprise you!

My first blog in a long time about anything, but I had to write my thoughts out here in the vain hope it can help another who is silent. I used to blog about me, then stopped because I started to understand we all suffer, it’s called life, it can be hard, challenging and often impossible. We all have a weight or a cross to carry, we all have REASONS for how we feel. It took me taking myself off from 4 powerful drugs about a year ago to wake me up to the fact we all have that REASON why we are unhappy, sad, depressed and all the other black cloud emotions. We all have them, but we must allow each other to deny them, because we can’t dig the truth out of a persons mind no matter how hard we want to try. A person will only be BETTER when they find REASONS to keep trying, but even then nothing is certain. I won’t ruin this show nor it’s ending for anyone, but I will tell people what it is about. I think some of us need to give this Taboo a voice, even for ourselves for our own reasons. Please keep reading, not too much to read here, you will understand at the bottom who I type about

Watching KIDS on a TV show portray such emotion is the reason this show is so popular and why many of these kids will win some trophies and more for telling an awful truth about the mind and the reasons a mind can be broken in the year 2018. No matter what age we are, mental health can can strike any of us. The trigger can be something we are not aware about or totally aware about. I am an adult, I am comfy speaking out as I do, doesn’t make me better nor stronger and certainly doesn’t raise me above anyone. But my reasons are for our kids I guess. The real kicker in this TV show is how people backed off and allowed the inevitable to happen. Then when it happens the guilt is stripped bare and people try to deny and deflect feelings to save their own minds. THIS IS NORMAL, and it’s ok. We are all fragile in some way. Some use the most socially acceptable way to hide it and that is alcohol, some smother the pain in drugs, some have drugs thrown at us as if the answer lies in the trust of a Dr and his tablets. For some it is the answer and help, for some it isn’t, and I mean Alcohol and Drugs bought or given legally, there is no distinction in our REASONS why we need to smother the pain or sadness.

We smother it with anything

And that is about all I can say. For those who watched both seasons till the end, you may get what I am typing. For those who have not watched, please know there are triggers in the TV show. Maybe some are half watching it or halfway through watching it. Like a book, like a movie, even like a song, we will all take something from this. What was confirmed for me is (And I include myself here) that we all wait, we all stand still and wait. I am at the stage of thinking “Why do we wait” I am waiting too, are you? And if so why? I ask myself why I wait to do anything, we will just call it life for now. I ask myself for REASONS and the easy reasons come to mind right away, my 2 Daughters. Like all our kids they are young and vulnerable to Social Media and I can see it coming like a TRAIN hurtling towards a crowded platform out of control.

The song below, like many songs, is a song I can sit and listen to over and over, we ALL have a song like this for different REASONS. I see the Internet as a very harsh place. To have opinions so strong online, you MUST accept the fact that before you even type, or talk, whatever way you speak out, KNOW YOU WILL BECOME A TARGET. I have never been bullied as an adult and was never bullied as a kid, but it does not stop me feeling for others who I know were, and I know a lot of people who were bullied at school, and after all these years just keep the emotion to themselves and hope it goes away. I hope it does too, the emotion of sadness I mean. This is something I have to face head on because I have two Daughters under 10 years old and Social Media is coming at them fast, I hate the thought but I can’t stop the reaction, yet I do have control over some actions. So all I can do is smile and educate my kids on EMOTIONS that come from the Internet and the REASONS why we must not look away from them, and ALWAYS we must speak out. I demand this from my kids, in the most loving way I can express. 13 Reasons Why was powerful, sad and a lot of emotions to take in. Some call it morbid, to me it’s just life playing out but in full view, not hidden by any means at all, laid bare so we can all see it. Suicide is an act, but it’s a living emotion for many, I know too many people of all ages and gender all over the World who battle REASONS WHY. The reason being staying alive, not ending our lives, it’s daily and it is like a drug itself, it is unrelenting, it is an emotion no drink or drug can help me with personally

I live every single day of my life sad, and I have no REAL reason to be sad. The pain I am in all day every day and have been for 17 year or so now is unfair, but there are people out there all over the World battling worse, in horrible places we could not even dream about. Take notice of those who are sad behind a smile, or funny behind a mask of darkness. If we don’t, a Castle of Glass will be our forever. Do NOT do this to yourself. This is Taboo, nobody wants to talk about it…Well nobody I know in the flesh that I need to talk about it with. So Social Media has become a ‘Safe’ place for my mind, knowing I can be helped as well as help back. In the end it doesn’t even matter, is a powerful saying, but our ending could and might be someone else’s tragic beginning. Food for thought, nothing more.

Shaun x

Castle of Glass – Linkin Park – LIVE
Via: Linkin Park  on You Tube

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linkin Park – The Messenger – Chester Bennington – Live unplugged – Lyrics

Sometimes the lyrics of a song just ‘Make Sense’. We can use them as our own, that is the beauty of Music, we can play it till it gets stuck in our minds, lodged so deeply we sing it and own it. This is SENSATIONAL from Chester. He might not be here no more, but we can keep ANYONE alive by sharing what they stood for.

#FuckDepression

~~~~

Linkin Park – the messenger – Chester Bennington Live unplugged – Lyrics
Via: dirtyhak on You Tube

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Finally in the ‘Mental Health’ System – LONG, HARD, ROAD AHEAD – I SEE HOPE!

Living with severe pain and severe mental health issues. My first blog for a while here, and I didn’t really want to do it either, but as we reach out, others reach back. It started for me, the journey of pain and mental health about 15 years ago. I had issues from Childhood that haunted me when I was signed off from being allowed to Work all these years ago. The cycle of pain and mental health is a tricky one. The medications I am now on are less, but better and just as powerful. Today I am TRYING to start being a sit-down DJ again through the Stafford Center below and also singing lessons to FINALLY TRY and sit on a stage and create moment of ‘Music’. Always I have this view that Sport, Politics, Religion, and the worse one, MONEY just divide us all, well most of us. For me, just me, Music is my God, it speaks to me, and it listens back. I need a stage, I need to be part of something for myself. I spent too long doing things for others. I lost most of my Family because of these issues, but Family who mock, don’t understand, make things worse, are they worth having? For me no, but we all have our own ways. What I do know is, when we get ill in ANY way and it effects us badly, people walk away. FAMILY say things like “I am not getting involved”, but who am I to talk, I walked away from the emotion of HATE I had and still do have. Family just unable to hear us speak and just say ‘Nice one’ then change the subject. I am fighting for myself this time. I have lost, BUT SO HAVE YOU. We ALL have a something, we all have things holding us back, making us dread moving forward. We all lose, we all hurt, we are all just human. We live in a selfish money chasing brainwashed World. So I am doing this for me, but I have two little Girls here, my Daughters. All I am trying to do is make sure they are like their brothers, I hope they grow up and find HAPPY, without money, hate, anger, struggle. And understand who they want in their lives as they grow. They are only 7 and 8 years old, but my Job is to gently and over time tell them ‘It is your life, you make the choices, and to NEVER allow another to dictate to them in any way possible’, it really is that simple. Like you I am surrounded by people not in control, and these people work, have money, CHOOSE the life they lead, and are owned by emotions and the emotions of others. I dislike these people because of the impact they have on my Girls. Never hate, I say it below always. Just typing to TRY and connect. This took me like 3 hours today 😀 I hope 2 people read it.

BE KIND TO YOURSELF!

DON’T ALLOW OTHERS TO STEAL YOUR LIFE, THOUGHTS OR EMOTIONS.

Be yourself and NEVER compromise this. When you do, you give your control to others.

For now…

..Below is the system of help I am in just now. I will be adding a pain-team back to this list shortly

~~~~~

This was my first HELP about 12 years ago:

@Dr_A_Dobbin – On Twitter

https://www.facebook.com/PositiveMentalTraining/

~~~~~

The River Center is for people suicidal, depressed, just lost in life:

~~~~~

I am now here. The possibility to be a DJ again, AND TO SING (Is the plan)

https://www.facebook.com/TheStaffordCentre

~~~~~

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For ‘Everyone who is Sad, Alone, Depressed, Stuck in Darkness – YOU ARE NOT ALONE

The Most basic human emotions

Being stuck with negative emotion after a loss in life can change us, being stuck in the darkness of sadness when our life changes for the worst can and will change the strongest of us. I would never sit here or anywhere and claim to know the truth or say I understand how your sadness, or any emotion can be stopped. Right now I personally am in a personal Hell. I don’t write for me because I can openly talk to the right people. It is hard to talk, and it’s not something I enjoy, but I have to fight, like you I have reasons and people to fight for. You are not the only one hurting or sad, depressed or nearing the end of your patience with life, far from it! This is a Taboo subject that not many people can open up about, and this is totally understandable and allowed.

 

Some leave clues to sadness and pain, if we look and listen, we can be helped

Recently, through NHS neglect I have found myself opened up to pain and emotions I have not felt for a long time. Like you I was once happy, living, caring, social, I could go out into the World and join in. When I say NHS neglect I must pull that emotion back and say it’s just human error. People put us on Drugs, we become addicted, and then they take us off them and leave us in utter HELL because our body is craving the drug. I must now turn the coin around and say ‘Alcohol and Drugs’ are not the answer. Drs put me on about 12 different drugs over the last Decade and a half, and today I am happy to try and understand why I have to let these drugs leave my system, but it’s the hardest thing I have ever done, but like you maybe, I need put on Drugs that HELP, Drs may have already killed me. I must say if it wasn’t for FELLOW SUFFERERS I may have given in already. I am told ‘There is a light at the end of the tunnel of pain’ – I can’t yet even see the tunnel, let alone the light. Today I am suffering, but those closest to me, and I mean as close as could be, are suffering worse, because I CHOOSE to trust a Drs advice on ‘Smothering it all with prescribed drugs’ – I have 2 little girls in this house and this is hidden from them, think Daddy has a sore knee, but they are 7 and 8 years old, I know it will break their heart when we have to tell them all about life THEY ARE THE REASON I am typing this at around 4am on a freezing cold Scottish night. Already I have been here an hour, but slowly I am getting the words out somehow. Yesterday (Wednesday) my body went into sever withdrawal and a few organs started to close down. But I made it through another day. I want to RIGHT NOW take my own life to make life better for those I love or call friend. But my Daughters need me, so I can’t be selfish; I have to ‘Man up’ and become strength. The first people I hope to see this strength are my Daughters and their Mother. I can only try, all I can write in this moment is ‘I am trying’ – I walked away from almost everyone I used to love being around, I chase people away because I an angry, but its ok, sometimes we should and can be angry. As I said above, others leave us clues. I hope you can find your way to cope. This isn’t mine, but I am reaching out in the hope the RIGHT PEOPLE read and reach back. The song below starts around 40 seconds in, they lyrics are too much for some, but some of us can live with this music. The proof of this is, it’s a video. It isn’t fair, it hurts and it’s ok to not be ok.

 

 

 

 

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